A Devotee Woman’s Painful Life with a Child with Autism!
This Mail from a mataji brought tears in my eyes. Read fully. You will feel that your problems are nothing when compared to this Devotee Woman’s Painful Life with a Child with Autism! She asked 22 questions. I have replied them briefly:
“Hare Krishna prji, I have a general question that “I came in bhakti in the year…….., and got pretty much sincere in it”, i always wanted a second child while my husband was denying since he thought that recently children are not coming nice( seeing his friends experience- they have many mental issues- hyperactivity, autism etc)…
I promised by husband with confidence that our child will come very nice since I am being Krishna conscious..(i prayed and asked the child from Lord Krishna Himself)…in spite of that & following bhakti even before, while and after conception, my child suffered from sleep disorders and from 3 years i have not slept…my entire time goes just in him, whole night goes in making him sleep while he keeps waking up and crying….he doesn’t speak so can’t understand what is happening…
In may this year, a formal assessment revealed that my child is suffering from Autism, ADHD, sleep and sensory disorders.. They have suggested therapies for which only I have to take him and only I have to spend money ( these are very expensive). since my husband doesn’t offer any support, I m not doing any job too.
I live abroad and no support. Husband everyday fights and taunts and literally helps in nothing citing i wanted the child and i have to see everything now…he keeps on blaming and criticizing and torturing with his words looks and behaviour..
My older child is 12.5 years gurl, she also doesn’t help in anything..
I m completely in trauma…my mental physical emotional health completely is in ruins..
Because of 3 years of sleep deprivation, crying, hearing such words, no support, just binded to home and taking care of everything, can’t share anything with anyone ..I am overtired & exhausted and losing faith because of no help from Lord or anyone else .
So many thoughts run the mind!! Why lord did like this? I want to get reply for the following questions:”
REPLY FOR HER 22 QUESTIONS:
This is very painful to hear. Such sufferings are very difficult to bear.
Moreover, you are suffering without the support of husband and relatives.
I can understand the nature of a devotee Woman’s Painful Life with a Child with Autism! I could not sleep that night when I read your Long message.
(How to become a pure devotee and attach with Krishna? READ HERE!)
Instead of developing self-pity that is not going to give any productive results, let us analyze the next steps to be taken how Devotee Woman’s Painful Life with a Child with Autism can be managed! Let me answer your questions:
(1) I asked the child only from Krishna, not from some demigod?
Don’t think that Krishna devotees will not face problems. They will definitely face problems. In some cases, problems will arise in more magnitude. Because, Krishna likes to purify you fast and take you back to Him. So, just spend this life to support your children and also to follow devotion to Krishna. Make this life meaningful and to clear most of your karma. It will bring the Goloka close to you. So, don’t worry. All for good.
(2) My husband already devalued me and treated inferior since I don’t earn! Now he got everyday a chance to taunt, blame and criticize…he even blames me for this child, my daughter’s any under performance or behaviours (she is teenager), and spoiling his life also.
Just hear his scolding and tortures thru your left ear and leave them to go out thru the right ear. We can’t correct others. Just live for Krishna and your children. Don’t worry about the persons who don’t understand your sacrifice. A sacrifice purifies a person by clearing part of karma.
(3) I requested so much for a cook, or a night maid so at least I can sleep 3-4 hours, but he didn’t agree. he wants me to suffer more and more.
More sufferings – faster the clearing of karma. Krishna is cleansing you fast. Face any problem by not escaping from it.
(Living without expectations! Best Tips to follow! READ HERE!)
(4) Even in these 3 years, I kept all ekadahsis, even did nirjala twice, do bhakti according to my circumstances, chant, follow festivals, run a Bhagavad Gita channel, held competitions, hearing , reading, singing kirtans, praying, donated a lot, distributed Bhagavad Gita, doing donation collection services in Janmashtami etc, still there is no change in my situation, infact it goes on bringing more misery. Why?
By doing these austerities, you have gone closer to Krishna that you are not aware. Did you do these devotional practices and services to solve your material problems? If you have done to get material benefits, Krishna does not usually interfere into the karma network of his devotees by cancelling his karma. It is possible only if we go to the pure sanyasa and prema stage. For normal devotees who follow vaidhi bhakti, Krishna interferes in two ways:
(i) By reducing the intensity of problems and
(ii) By giving enormous strength to face the problems.
Thus, Krishna is giving you strength to face yourn karma. So, believe that Krishna is with you.
(5) Why Lord doesn’t give any merit of my activities or ekadashi? I see in ekadashi stories that the person immediately gets Relief from misery.
Nothing is immediate in spirituality. Ekadasi stories are given to motivate you to follow the fasts, particularly for those who expect some benefits for fasting. It will happen only gradually.
(6) My husband opposes bhakti more now, since he doesn’t see any changes inspite of me doing so much.
(Why Krishna gives more problems to His devotees, but helping many non devotees? READ HERE!)
Krishna Consciousness is to get the liberation from material clutches and to go back to Krishna Himself. If you meet the prime minister of a company, will you copmplain that your house has poor lighting?
(7) He was against the Bhagavad Gita channel too since it was free and doesn’t generate any money, still I continued against him but got no relief from the Lord. He keeps me taunting more now, that because of me my son got autism, since I was busy with my channel.
No use in running even hundreds of channels for Krishna if you run to get fame, name and facilities. Krishna will appreciate it, but He may give more detachment for you to come out of the material desires. Because, you can never get satisfied by getting all material comforts. So, Krishna is for getting liberated not to remain conditioned. Note: I am running this media for decades but in loss. Still, I am continuing it by reducing my expenses for myself without using unwanted materials, but living only with the essentials. I am very happy over it. All depends on our mind.
(8) I am alone & completely shattered & lost all enthusiasm in life.
All of us are going to die alone though one has a beautiful wife. Will a wife or husband die along with the spouse? Our real position is to be lonely. We need association only to grow fast in devotion.
(9) I talked to many in astrology apps but no one is able to provide proper answers.. I recently contacted a jyotish and got remedy done..he has given a moonstone and performed Pooja for him .also a panchmukhi Hanuman and navgraha yantrum he couriered..
Remedies or parihars works only for about 10-15% of the persons when their karma is less severe. If our previous karma is very serious, no parihars will help. We may have to face the reactions happily.
(Why Krishna devotees suffer against His assurance in Gita 18.66? READ HERE!)
(10) Therapies are very expensive and very time taking..how can I wait so long…my life is already finishing…there is nothing left to look forward in the day.. sometimes I get up at 11 am because of no sleep at night…
This is a painful situation. But, think and plan what to do to earn more. Do a home business and earn. There are plenty of opportunities to earn from home. Plan for it instead of developing self pity.
(11) I am extremely frustrated helpless hopeless and dejected.
If you truly follow Krishna Consciousness to satisfy Krishna, your life will be joyful in spite of bunch of problems.
(12) Everything fell on my shoulders just because I wanted the child.. and trust me Prabhuji it is very very very very very very difficult..
I know the difficulty, but this is the time to divert attention in something to forget negatives. Live for Krishna by involving in devotion seriously. It will definitely give solace.
(13) I can’t even show any reaction of my pain, because that leads to more fights..I can’t even react now..just bottling up everything…
You only have to take care of yourself. If you are depending on someone, you can’t be happy for ever. Do a home business and worship Krishna sincerely and forget the other issues.
(14) I had complete faith in Lord and his words and words of his devotees, why I got cheated?
Not cheated. We are the cause for all our problems. What we did in our previous births, we face the reactions now. So, face the reactions now patiently and cvlear your part of karma related to this aspect. Don’t use the words like cheating. Krishna need not cheat you. He is ready to give you eternal problem-free life in His kingdom. Face the current problems as the reactions of your previous actions.
(Is Praying Krishna for small demands &feeling for failures right? READ HERE!)
(15) Why I didn’t get any mercy from Lord? Why he again threw me in the voracious mouth of my husband?
Because you might have used similar words against your husband in your previous birth. So, patiently face the reactions.
(16) Is it my mistake to ask Him for a son?
If you truly have faith in Krishna, you won’t pray for a child. He will give only what is good for you. So, if Krishna gives voluntarily, it will be problem-free. If we pray and compel Him, there will be no guarantee for a problem-free boon. So, leave the decision to Krishna Himself.
(17) Why He is not responding from years now of tears, pain and sincere prayers?
You have that much of pending karma. Please face it and clear within this birth. Your next life will be very good and with less problems. If you seriously follow Krishna Consciousness, you can even get eternal problem-free life with Krishna.
(18) I prayed to everyone, from Chaitanya mahaprabhu, nityanand pr, Krishna, Radharani, Narasimha dev, tulsi maharani, nand Maharaj (on nandotsav), Sri Ram, Jagannath, Hanuman ji, prabhupada etc. But no one helped…I extensively worked for them in my channel during their appearance days..
Please clear your pending karma. Once the karma account becomes free from serious karmic balance, good things will start in life.
(19) Offered ghee lamps in purushottam & kartik months,had kirtans at home, had damodar aarti at home, distributed Bhagavad Gita in that. I even followed janmasthmi vrat, which gives merit of 20 crore ekadashis.
You will get good next birth. Clear your fixed karma within this birth. Happily serve Krishna and make this life meaningful.
(20) I give merits to my son…why my situation and his situation not getting healed.?
If you continue your devotion throughout life, your child’s health situation may gradually improve in due course of time. So, don’t worry for today, hope for good future.
(21) Even like a non devotee I have to go through everything with more suffering than them.
In case you had remained a non devotee, the situation would have been more grave and serious.
(Does Krishna exist or not? If yes, Why is He watching us suffer? READ HERE!)
(22) Seems Krishna doesn’t care, then why I should return back to him??
If you are ready to face issues in the next life too, drop devotional practices. If you like to stop your problems within this birth, follow Krishna Consciousness.
(23) My bhakti also faded away but still I pushed for many years – chanting, singing, Prasadam, reading, hearing etcI I even went to doctors but no help.. Why it happened like that? I have been crying and praying everyday.. Help me Prabhu . Sorry for long message but still so much to say which words can’t express… plz hide my name in case u make it public…
REPLY:
Bhakti or Krishna is the ONLY HOPE to heal and manage a Devotee Woman’s Painful Life with a such Child with Autism! If you drop devotion, you may not have any hold in life. You are thinking your problems more powerful than Krishna. Instead, consider Krishna is more powerful than your problems. If you have problematic life, instead of wasting this human birth, LIVE FOR KRISHNA SINCERELY. Krishna will definitely reciprocate.
Best of luck. Let Krishna shows His mercy to you soon by reducing your pains to the bearable level. Let Krishna gives you the Nishkam bhakti, ie, Pure devotion without expectations.
Hope the readers of this post would have felt that their problems are nothing when compared to Devotee Woman’s Painful Life with a Child with Autism!
(Why Chance of Pure Devotional Service to Krishna is Rare to get? READ HERE!)