Is a Krishna devotee obliged to take care of parents as a son?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji In our Vedic Culture Parents are given prime importance. It is said by Lord Visnu to markandey rishi that those who serve his father as me and mother as holy Ganga are my best devotees. Also devotees like Pundarik have achieved Lord Vittal by serving their parents…. Also it is said one can never pay his debts to his parents. In Mahabharata also one man went for spiritual development by leaving his parents but he found out that a butcher who is serving his parents is more developed.. Can we get Krishna by serving our parents also as a part of devotional service.”
REPLY:
You yourself know the answer, it seems, because you have chosen beautiful examples to support the fact that a Krishna devotee is obliged to take care of parents as a son.
Yes, a Krishna devotee is obliged to take care of parents and there must be very genuine reasons and natural compulsion to live away from the parents.
Since I am academically qualified, I could have gone to work abroad. But, I never thought of it because, I can’t leave my mother by allowing her to suffer in India with less facilities and I only to enjoy the comforts in a western country.
(Feeling lonely by being a devotee in the family of material people! Tips! READ HERE!)
I can visit and come back, but, I can’t leave my parents permanently or for years just to live in a foreign country and earn more.
If I go to the USA, I can practice devotion thru any ISKCON center in the USA, but, I can’t solve my mother’s suffering there.
I can earn 10 times more in the USA than in India, but, I do not want that excessive money to be earned by allowing my mother to suffer. Because for a simple living person like me, that much of money is not necessary.
I don’t want that much of money to live as I need just food, clothes and a small house to live. Nothing else. For that, I need not go abroad.
In India, one can live even with Rs.10,000-15000 a month. In rural areas, it is still less.
Are Ambanis, Tatas, Birlas, Godrej, etc fools to achieve in India itself by giving good products for Indians?
See, the birth in our country happens because of our good karma and our level of family attachments in our previous births.
Getting birth in India is due to Good karma. So, I can visit any country for a week or month, but I will live in India only.
Krishna too started to make me very busy in His service only after my mother’s demise.
I understood that Krishna wanted me to take care of my mother till she leaves and then come to serious devotion after her period.
(Daughter or Son – who is responsible to protect the parents to avoid karma? READ HERE!)
One should not take full time brahmacharya or sanyasa by allowing his parents to suffer.
If his brother assures a kind and caring support for the parents, one can think of going away from the family.
If one is the only child for your parents, it is not good for the kind hearted devotees to desert his parents and follow full time devotion.
If he finds maintaining aged parents difficult, instead of sending them to old age homes, he should employ a nurse at his home itself and take good care of them and he should concentrate in his job and other duties.
The parents cared you in your young age. Now, it is your turn to take3 vcare of them in their old age.
Attachment means expecting a relation/ person to be your eternal associate that is not possible at all.
A true devotee is naturally kind hearted. If not, that means he is after the fame.
Because, only those who aim for fame will not bother about the people and they will try to become popular by any means.
But, a devotee can’t see the sufferings of others. Then what to say about his parents?
Complete Sanyasa is meant ONLY FOR THOSE WHO LIKE TO SERVE THE SOCIETY. If you have no idea to serve the world, you are not expected to take sanyasa.
(SANYASA – MEANING, TYPES &TIPS TO FOLLOW IN KALIYUGA! READ HERE!)
Sanyasa is not to escape from your duties. Only if you serve the whole society, you are eligible to be served by a group of discipes.
So, in every ashrama, one has service.
In a grahastha life, one serves his parents and his own family and also the sanyasis and brahmanas by giving possible support to them.
Without the presence of the grahasthas, there are no sanyasis. Because sanyasis should live with the biksha got from these grahasthas only.
So, one should try his best to serve the Lord from Grahastha ashrama. If it is not possible, he can think of other options.
My Kulaguru Sri Chandrasekarendra swami always emphasized even in my childhood that one should live only with the essentials to live. By saving the resources like this, one should help others as we are indebted to many people in this world. So, Parobahar (helping others) is to be done by spending for our necessities only.
If we enjoy the comforts and die leaving crores of money in the locker or bank account, we will die with the uncleared debts for humans including the parents, gurus, brahmanas, vaishnavas, birds, animals, etc.
So, we may have to take rebirth to clear those debts.
(FIVE DEBTS & FIVE YAJNAS TO BE CLEARED & PERFORMED BY EVERYONE! READ HERE!)
I try to follow such advice of my Kula guru heard in my childhood itself.
Simple living with high principles is expected from a devotee. Principles mean the way of life.
Nowadays a different culture is originating: Every devotee feels that If one is a devotee he is not indebted to anybody in this world.
It is said for exalted devotees who are transforming the world thru their purity and wisdom.
But, even a budding neophyte devotee thinks so even after visiting the temple and hearing the lecture for 3-4 times.
I strongly condemn such a culture even among some budding neophyte devotees.
Clearing karma is not like erasing the text written by the pencil using an eraser. Karma means the recordings of even our serious offenses & crimes in our previous births.
They can’t be just cleared with the single shot.
To get your karma cleared, you should transform thousands of people’s lives for better position. This is called real sanyasa.
So, everyone acting like sanyasis is a dangerous trend.
This may force the parents to fear to send their children to sathsanghas.
They have invested lakhs of money for cultivating their children. These children can’t just throw them like a straw and settle in temples.
They should know their responsibilities and accountabilities.
Everyone should always remember that he is indebted to many. Without reciprocating to those debts, they can’t clear their karma.
Selfish attitudes will NEVER take you to Krishna.
(Differences between Attachment Detachment & Sanyasa in Grahastha life! READ HERE!)
Aiming to go back to Krishna by throwing the parents who spent their whole life to cultivate us, will never be blessed by Krishna. It is a mere selfishness. So, being a Good devotee and Good son is the ideal way of life.
You may say – if you go back to Krishna, your parents will also be liberated.
But, how Krishna will accept you when your parents are suffering with the tears because of your irresponsibility?
Has Krishna said anywhere to desert the parents to follow Him?
How could Janaka Maharaja get Bhoodevi Sita as his daughter and the Lord Himself as His son in law?
How could Vasudeva and Nanda Maharaja get Krishna as his Son?
Did they throw their parents?
So, do not get confused by the contrary statements in devotional field promoted differently by different sampradhayas.
(Work Renouncement (Sanyasa) and Karma Yoga – Which Krishna says, is better? READ HERE!)
Keep in mind: A devotee is merciful. Being merciful is not attachment. It is one of the qualities of advanced devotees.
I was waiting till the demise of both my parents. After their demise, I took devotion as my full time service.
I sleep without guilt at night. I feel as if I have done my duty as properly as possible as a son of my poor parents!
So, now, I am able to serve Krishna with full involvement and freeness.
This freeness should be felt by everyone of us. Then only we can follow devotion peacefully without guilt.
So, being a good devotee and a good son simultaneously is 100% possible for a son! Though there are thousands of examples even among our devotees, as a close example, take me as an example for being a good devotee and a good son simultaneously.
Hope you understood that a Krishna devotee obliged to take care of parents as a son.
(Is being affectionate with Relatives attachment that leads to rebirth? READ HERE!)