Is being affectionate with Relatives attachment that leads to rebirth?
A male devotee asked like this:
“Hare krishna Prabhu ji. I have fear whether my brothers will deceive me. I am unable to trust anyone. I also fear that being affectionate with my parents, brother, etc may make me attached. So, I am unable to mingle with them. Please correct if it is wrong.”
REPLY:
Why should we trust others completely? Always be careful in dealing with others because every conditioned soul has cheating propensity.
However, you need not be too careful with your parents, children, brothers and sisters. Why I am excluding these four relations? Because, these four relations are indebted to support us when we are in a challenging situation in life. You need not fear whether being affectionate with Relatives attachment that leads to rebirth. Because, they are blood related with us.
No father/ mother would like to cheat their child. So, you can keep them in high standing.
(Are Demigods subject to attachments and bad times? READ HERE!)
No brother/ sister would like to cheat his sister/ brother in most cases. Though there are some differences, they may attend us in distress. So, you can keep your brother/ sister in high standing.
No son/ daughter will do harm to the parents. So, you can keep your son/ daughter in good standing.
Of course, there are exceptions in all the categories. However, among the above three cases, the betrayals may be less. Though there are some problems among these relations, on a later date, they will become united again.
So, always trust your parents/ brothers/ sisters, though there are some strains in your relations with them. Because, these relations ARE FROM BIRTH ITSELF AND GENETICALLY RELATED and hence can not be permanently separated.
What about other relations? They came in the middle of our life. Not genetically related. So, the LEVEL OF TRUST will always be less compared with parents, brothers and sisters.
(WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE, MERCY AND ATTACHMENT? READ HERE!)
Examples:
If a girl faces some issues with her husband, what will she do? She informs her parents and siblings. The elder brother of the girl comes to her house and tries to make an amicable settlement for the problem between his sister and her husband.
So, even a brother is needed to settle the issues between the relations accepted in the middle. If a brother hears any boy speaking ill about his sister, he can not bear it.
So, BLOOD RELATIONS ARE ALWAYS SUPPORTIVE in spite of some possible strain in relations. So, no need to fear whether being affectionate with Relatives attachment.
Similarly, if his daughter faces any problem with her husband, her father tries his level best to solve that problem. THE FATHER EVEN DARES TO FALL AT THE FEET OF HER HUSBAND TO SAVE THE LIFE OF HIS DAUGHTER.
(How One falls due to attachments as said by Krishna? READ HERE!)
Have anyone seen the happiness of a married girl when her father visits her (husband’s) house? She will not feel the same happiness even if her husband comes from office. She will feel very soothing on seeing her father, mother, brother, sister, etc, visiting her house.
I took birth in a big family as the last child. I have 3 brothers and 4 sisters (as on date, ie, 07.12.2021 !!!). Whenever I visit any of my married sister’s house, her face becomes bright. Immediately she comes and holds my hands and takes me inside her house. Then, she immediately prepares special dishes to serve her younger brother, ie, me. That food will be of special grade. She would not have prepared such tasty dishes even to her husband. She will serve the food with utmost love telling “take more…take more” and ask how the taste of the food is.
She would discuss all her problems to me. She would discuss with me about our childhood life. That day will pass very fast. Her husband would come from office and joke like this: “Oh… your brother has come to the house. You would have forgotten the whole world today, including me. Bring me the dinner… Today’s food will be tasty as your brother has come to our house.”
She would never like to send me back to my home. Her only efforts would be to make me stay there for one more day. But, I always disappoint her by leaving on the same day because of my schedules.
(Is treating opposite gender as Sibling too an act of attachment? READ HERE!)
This is the nature of brother-sister relation. Natural. Mostly trustworthy.
So, No relations can match in this material world with that of father, mother, brother and sister. Friendships, spouses, lovers – all are secondary. Why? Even a husband/ wife may have some expectations from the spouse. But, a brother, sister, and parents will love you just because you are their brother/ sister/ son/ daughter. No contaminations, mostly.
I do not expect all of you to accept this. But, I will repeatedly say this:
“First trust your father, mother, brother and sister. Be loyal to them. If you have your father/ brother with you, you will feel as if you have the strength of an elephant.”
Behave with all other relations with care. Because, they can not 100% understand you as your blood relations understand. This does not mean you should disrespect other relations. What I come to say is that the risk in the blood relations is less.
(How to deal with the Material Attachment, Detachment & Devotee Association? READ HERE!)
For example, there are divorces (separation) between a husband and wife. But, can a brother and sister (or) parent-daughter (or) parent-son separate permanently? No chance. Because, they are related by blood and genes.
So, first trust your father, mother, brother, sister and children. Then go to others. Always be prepared that anyone may disappoint you any time. This will avoid becoming upset later. Always expect both positive and negative in your life. Because, that is the nature of this material life on earth.
Read the tenth canto of Srimad Bhagavatham (or) Srila Prabhupada’s KRISHNA Book. Know how nicely Krishna played with his relatives and friends. He was very much playful with all, but, He had no attachment with them and hence when He had to leave for Mathura, He parted even Srimati Radharani and all the Vrajvasis. He showed what detachment is.
Detachment is not hating others. It is loving others knowing the temporary nature of material relations.
Hope you are clear about whether being affectionate with Relatives attachment that leads to rebirth.
(Differences between Attachment Detachment & Sanyasa in Grahastha life! READ HERE!)