HOW SHOULD WOMEN LIVE PERFECTLY AS PER THE SCRIPTURES?
A Girl Devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“N how should women live as per srila prabhupad n scriptures say…”
If I write what Manu Samhita says, what Bhagavatham says, what Acharyas say on how should women live, you will get angry and I will get plenty of comments targeting me. Because, scripturess have given many restrictions for women. So, based on the scriptures, let me summerize the following points that will help the girls definitely. Remember, all these points have the support of scriptures.
(1) Girls should be under the protection of father till her marriage; After marriage, she must be protected by her husband.
(Why the dress codes for women though even the girls of vedic period were wearing skirts only? READ HERE!)
(2) A girl is NATURALLY beautiful. Lord has been extra merciful on girls and hence He has created them with soft body and soft voice and powerful look. Though they are not attempting to attract others, even their eye-to-eye sight can make some chemistry in the minds of boys. This attraction has been the cause for the maintenance of population in this planet. So, this arrangement of attraction is done by Lord Himself. So, scriptures say that women should not interact excessively with other men. Even father is restricted to unnecessarily touch the daughter once she attains her age 8. However, of late, I have been seeing even college going daughters travelling with father and mother in bikes tightly embracing her father from sitting behind. These things are against the guidelines of the scriptures.
(3) Scriptures say that women have more sensitivity in feelings than men before, during or after the sexual activity happens. So, men are expected not to induce the feelings of girls. Because, it will disturb them. Men should cooperate by leaving the women free and they should not play with the feelings of women. Inducing the feelings of the a good person of the opposite sex is the greatest sin. That is why, Scriptures have given restrictions in male-female interactions.
(4) Women easily believe others and later feel because, most of the women think emotionally. So, a women is expected not to believe others easily and leave the decisions to her father or husband. However, now a days, women are also becoming like men because they too go to jobs and earn.
(5) Scriptures advise that among couples, wife should serve her husband and a husband should help his wife. For a wife, no separate devotional rules are needed. Just by helping her husband in his devotional services, his wife also can go to the same status achieved by her husband. Husband is her first guru. So, she is expected not to violate the words of her husband though he is not a devotee.
(6) Whether men or women, they should dress closing their body fully. They should not show their chest also. They should wear such a dress that do not attract the senses of opposite sex. Because, this attraction is a natural arrangement by Lord.
(Did Brahma marry his daughter Sarasvati? Why? READ HERE!)
(7) A girl should expose her body beauty only to her husband. She must do “make-ups” only to please her husband, not to get praises from other men. Men are prohibited from seeing a girl’s alankar with lust.
(8) A girl and boy should protect her virgin status till their marriage. This advice is emphasized for girls because, the nature of their body is like that. There is an impact in the girl’s body after relations. But, such impacts are absent in males body. So, girls are advised to be more careful in that matter. Protecting her virginity exclusively for her husband is the duty of a girl. A boy should also be disciplined and loyal for his future wife.
(9) Women should spend more time in serving their husband and lord. They can prepare food for Lord, clean the house, arrange for pujas, chant, and maintain the day to day family affairs. A husband should add wealth for the family and for his wife. Because, he should leave sufficient wealth to his wife before he dies for her protection.
(10) Both men and women should act as per their conscience. This itself is enough. No need for any special rules. Just maintain your dignity. Once you lose your dignity, it can not be regained. So, live in such a way that there is no compromise in your dignity. If you follow this, no rules are needed for you.
(How should a devotee treat and behave with the women? READ HERE!)
(11) If either wife or husband stops arguing or RE-QUESTIONING, the family life will be moderate without tensions. Though the opponent accuses, one should not develop the arguments. Among the two, atleast one should shut the mouth. This will prevent so many problems in families.
Disciplinary rules are common for both boys and girls. However, there are more advice on HOW SHOULD WOMEN LIVE, ONLY BECAUSE they are naturally beautiful and they have to bear the “after effects” of violations and hence are the target of weak people right from the creation of this human race. So, it seems that there are more advice on HOW SHOULD WOMEN LIVE. However, disciplinary advice are common for both boys and girls.
A girl can lead a peaceful life if she follows the following instructions:
(1) Except business/ official dealings, a girl need not initiate any discussion with opposite sex and even with the same sex.
(2) If anyone asks question, she may reply smartly, briefly and to the point. Convey your message briefly.
(3) She may gently smile and avoid personal questions.
(Are women Priests, Sanyasis and Gurus allowed in Sanathana Dharma? READ HERE)
(4) She may dress decently that invites respect from all others. A decent loose chudi/ salvar will be the safest and most decent/ respectable dress for girls. However, any other decent dresses are recommended.
(5) Unnecessary eye or body movements may be avoided.
(6) If anyone comes to argue, she may stop continuing the discussion and gently leave the spot smiling, not with .
(7) Always remain engaged in some activity so that others may hesitate to disturb you or to spend more time with you.
(8) However, spend less time with others, but create a good impact in their mind with your smart and perfect behaviour.
(9) Be punctual and principled and do not change the principles for pleasing others.
(10) Remember that they are all material relations and material friends. So, both of you will have to part one day. This is the reality. So, do not cry if you can not talk to them one day. Others may exploit your such weakness. So, be practical. Behave smartly with them whenever they are available.
If you follow these points , no one can harm you. You can live happily in all situations.
(Is sanyasa for woman allowed if she is unmarried at 50 without caretakers? READ HERE!)