Offenses against the holy dham – How to repent for it?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Jai Shri Krishna. One of my friend told me about your website. I have been reading you post and feeling joy because I found someone who can clear my doubts. I am going to ask you some question as a big brother. First of I want to thank you that you are giving your precious time to all of us. Please accept my pranam.
Myself ……………… from ……………(Indian State). I’m suffering from a great pain from long time. Now I’ll describe my situation so that you can help me. From my childhood I like only Lord Krishna, so I had visited vrindavan many time with friends. In college time almost all friends had a girl friend. So I also wish that I should have a girl as a friend. So one of my classmate becomes my friend. With time our friendship become stronger.
One day she told me for a picnic. I agreed on a condition that we will visit vrindavan. So we both went there and stayed there for 3 days in 2017. Nothing happened. So by this tour we got strong attachment. So we generally go out after college time.
But in 2018 we again planned a trip for Vrindavan. This time also we stayed for 3 days. But this time somehow or other we indulge in physical relationship. We both feel guilty. We both thought that we will never commit this mistake again. But I feel so much guilty for her that’s why after coming from Vrindavan I promised her that I’ll marry to only her. She also agreed for marriage.
But after some time she told me that she belongs to lower caste (……..Category) and for our state’s people caste is everything. So from this point my problems started. But my problems get bigger when I came in contact with Iskcon devotees and came to know about that doing any sinful activity in Vrindavan Dham is biggest Apradh. So from that time I left going to Iskcon and doing any devotional activity as I felt totally helpless bcoz I have done too big offense.
(Avoiding & Repenting for violations with women after initiation (diksha)! READ HERE!)
But I never told anyone about this except you. So now I’m in a very big problem. Please bhaiya help me. You are the only and last hope for both of us. So please help me and clear my following doubts: –
(1) How can I rectify my biggest Apradh of having physical relationship in Vrindavan before marriage. (Please answer this briefly with practical tips)
(2) Is it true that I’ll never be able to do devotional services now in this life?
(3) Did I made a mistake by promising her for marriage?
(4) As this is inter cast marriage, I have told my parents about her (but not told about physical relationship) for first time in 2019 but they do not agree for our marriage. So please help me how should I talk to my parents? And what to do if they do not agree at any condition (99% chance that they will never agree)? Should I marry to her at any condition(but left my parents).
These all are my doubts but please you advise me for my better life. I really need your help. If you are not able to post it on your website then please reply to me on my mail.”
REPLY:
You did not think of her caste when you did everything with her and wandered with her after college time. Now you are worried How to come out of the guilt of your Offenses against the holy dham, ie, Vrindavan.
This is the mistake many boys and girls do in their young age.
If we tell them not to do this, they see us like seeing the enemies.
(Age of starting Karma! Do our violations or sins in the childhood add to karma? READ HERE!)
Even touching a girl before marriage is prohibited in Indian culture.
You both have wandered everywhere. That itself is a violation. Then, you now feel for physical violations in Vrindavan.
You think that touching your shoulders and her shoulders (and) sleeping together are not violations; And you think that touching with the private parts alone is offense.
It is not true.
Even going to Vrindavan with a “girl friend” before marrying her is a violation.
In Our Indian culture, even a father is not expected to touch his daughter after her age of 8 unnecessarily. His touching areas are restricted to head and shoulders with affection.
(VIOLATIONS BETWEEN GIRLS AND BOYS -HOW TO AVOID IT? READ HERE!)
The present culture of daughters tightly hugging the fathers in the running bikes is absolutely against the scriptures and culture.
If this is the case even in the case of a father and daughter, what to say about staying for three days with a girl friend in a single room in Vrindavan.
I beg the young devotees not to go to Vrindavan unless you can remain pure there in thoughts and actions.
Vrindavan is not a material touring spot.
It is a pilgrimage of the highest standard.
Vrindavan is the land of Vrinda – Tulasi devi.
Tulasi devi expects 1000% purity from us in thoughts and actions. Vrinda never bears impurity. Even when a devotee touches her (the plant) without bathing, she (the plant) feels impure and dies.
(Should I tell about my premarital violations to my guru before taking diksha? READ HERE!
If anyone commits so much of sexual violations and also touches tulasi plant, she dies without willing to live there.
If this is the case for even a single plant, just imagine how painful for her if we commit violations in her holy land.
Its alright. You have committed violations. Let us see How to come out of the sin of your Offenses against the holy dham, ie, Vrindavan.
Except Vaishnava Offense, all violations can be forgiven by Krishna if you resolve that you will never commit such violation of regulative principles and and beg for forgiveness in front of a tulasi plant kept in a temple.
If you follow such a level of purity till you both die, you can be forgiven.
And, unless you do not marry that girl, you will take next birth as a girl and face similar situation by a boy.
So, do not think of escaping from violations and your assurance that you will marry her.
(Using intoxicants or other Violations while chanting – Will Krishna accept? READ HERE!)
She has lost her virginity because of you. So, it is your responsibility to marry her at any cost – even against your parents.
First convince your parents telling that you and she have gone deeper in relations.
If they refuse even after that, first marry her and then convince the parents.
Of course she too is the cause for this violation. If a girl stays with a boy for three days daringly, she deserves that punishment. But, though a boy commits violation being induced by a girl, he is committed to marry her because he lost his intelligence and dharma.
So, if you marry her and ask for forgiveness from Vrinda as explained above, you need not worry about past violations.
If you do not marry her, rebirth and facing karma is sure.
And, you are still eligible to perform devotional services if you follow your resolutions of discipline strictly. No worries.
Hope you will act wisely to come out of the Guilt of your Offenses against the holy dham, ie, Vrindavan.
(Can a devotee having past illicit violations get the mercy of Krishna? READ HERE!)