How should the devotees insulate from the Selfish People?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhu g. How can we handle those devotees, who r always keen to take advantage of other devotees. As I have been taught in Krishna conce that help to all devotees as much as u can (it means u r helping Krishna in that way). But some devotees have joined KC only for their own benefit. When they need you, they will call or remember u but when they don’t need u, they don’t even bother to call u. Plz help me out with problem Prabhu g. Jai Shri Krishna”
REPLY:
This reminds a story. A mother brought her son to a guru. She said:
“Guruji. My son is taking plenty of sweets. Please advise him”.
That guru asked her to come next month.
She came. He again said to come next month.
She again came next month. Finally, that Guru advised her son about how to quit the attachment with sweets.
The mother asked why he did not advise him earlier 2 months ago. That guru replied: “Because, I too was attached to sweets. So, I am not eligible to advise your son. So, first, I quit my attachment to sweets and then advised your son.”
Similarly, this is the matter that everyone and yes, I myself am facing in this material world. I myself am confused with WHOM TO BELIEVE IN THIS KALIYUGA. I too have been affected in this matter and I am controlling myself because we are the servants of Krishna. Whatever Srimad Bhagavatham predicted about Kaliyuga, it is happening now one by one.
Kaliyuga is very dangerous and it is very difficult to believe the people. As I said already, as per Srimad Bhagavatham, Dharma devatha stands on her single leg out of four legs as her three legs have been cut one by one in three yugas.
So, three out of four persons will be pretenders in kaliyuga. So, if you approach 4 people, you may be disappointed by three people. Only one person will be supportive to you. If you get that person fortunately, you can manage somehow. But, everything depends on your karma.
But, there is a problem in identifying such people in kaliyuga to insulate from the Selfish people. Because, except some persons, many look like great people outside, but, they have all the dirt inside.
The servant maid of our house once told: Her friend was working as maid in the house of a high calibre family. The male member of that family was about 50 years old and was always uttering the name of a God to show himself as pious. One day, his wife had gone to her parents’ house with children. So, he was alone. That girl maid came to her duty as usual and was cleaning the utensils in that house in kitchen. As nobody was there in the house, that man came near her and put his hand on her shoulder and told: “Hey, you are so beautiful today. I like this so much. You are working well.”
Telling this he started to advance on her. So, she started to cry and left. She told our servant maid when she came to our house: “I do not know whom to believe ma. I thought that he is a devotee. But, there has been a monkey inside him so far. I hate males”
Thus, there is a monkey inside every person. That monkey is mostly asleep. But, when a chance comes, it jumps out and shows its face.
Girls would have faced such persons while travelling by bus. Though there will be enough space to stand in the city bus, some males will stand very close to women and making some advances. Some women shout and expose their real face. Some women even attack them. Some women bear these nonsenses. The pity is, many such males would also pray some gods in their daily life.
So, one has to be very careful in this world in dealing with the people.
In the case of helping others, we must help only if we are convinced to our level best that they are not selfish. If we are not careful in this matter, we may be used like a tissue paper and thrown out after they fulfill their needs. I too have helped people and am helping, but, they have distanced from me once their needs were over. So, now, I am selective in helping others.
(Dealing with Ego & Pride while following Krishna Bhakti! Nice Tips! READ HERE!)
This happens even in the spiritual/devotional service. There are many devotees who have served hard, but, have been discouraged by others. They can’t bear if other devotees are appreciated.
That is why, even in our site service, I do not compel anyone for anything. I even do not get affected with the positive or negative reactions of anyone. I am just doing my service to the devotees. Other things will be taken care by Krishna. We are not the doers. Only Krishna is the doer. We are just tools in His hands. And, the devotees should learn how to be balanced in both the positives and negatives from us. This is what I follow in this service.
The devotees should work, earn and do not depend on any other devotee or forum for their needs. If they are dropped from spiritual service in the middle, due to politics, where will they go? So, in this kaliyuga, we have to protect ourselves. That only is better.
If you have noted our posts, I have warned the girls to be very careful in the case of pretenders among the males. Because, many girls believe the promises of their loved ones that they will marry them and hence lose themselves to such males. But, after a few such moments, when that boy shows his real face, these girls realize that they have been deceived by him.
That is why, I have been writing against premarital relations before marriage believing the words of loved ones. Because, there is no scale to calculate the purity of a person and to judge whether he will keep up his words. The same applies for boys also in some cases.
(Can a girl divorce the drinker & torturing husband after aborting the baby? READ HERE!)
Thus, in every field, we see the pretenders in kaliyuga. What to do to insulate from the Selfish people? Only way is: Insulate yourself from this nonsense material world by allowing people inside your circle only after thoroughly verifying his motives. Though you have allowed them, be vigilant when they make any requests, or give any offers, or give any recommendations, or speak anything about others. If you believe whatever they say without evaluation, the loser will be you only, not them.
We can be the compassionate people, but, can’t be fools. If we allow ourselves to be used for their selfish advantage, we only are fools. We should insulate from the Selfish people.
If you like to help others, help for a common cause for the society or forum of devotees. If you happen to help an individual, ensure from his service that he really deserves it, and he will not utilize your compassion for their selfish motive. Of course, we must help the needy, no doubt, but, getting convinced is important before helping. That is my point.
(Why even Krishna’s devotees face tortures from spouse? READ HERE!)
There is an exemption for this verification stage. If anyone meets an accident, or if anyone is abused by anyone, you need not verify their motive before helping them. Because, if you verify them, they may die or be abused. So, in emergency situations, you must help others though he is your enemy. First, save his life and then maintain decent level of restrictions with him again.
This is the only way to insulate from the Selfish people to avoid getting cheated by them. This approach has helped me to avoid many disasters in my life.
I am following a Manthra strictly in my life after my long experience:
“Advice or Help Others Only When They Ask You. Advice or Help voluntarily only if there is an Emergency Need.”
You too follow this Golden Manthra to insulate from the Selfish people.
(If we stay away from torturing relatives, will it add to our karma? READ HERE?)