Dealing with Ego & Pride while following Krishna Bhakti! Nice Tips!
A girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhu. After I started reading BG and chanting , I can see changes in me over a period of time. Before I didn’t know that some qualities belong to ignorant people and some passionate, goodness and all. Now, people whom once I felt that they are good and close to me, now I have started seeing bad in them ..in sense the way they speak to elders, too much materialistic, their behavior, habits and all. I am not feeling comfortable ..they are my family and friends Prabhu. I don’t have association of devotees also. I feel I am only different in my association. Does it mean I am too good? but I feel scared, insecure and lonely to be in this kind of association . I am scared to see this world. I want to overcome to see this tendency of seeing bad in others . I do no how to overcome this . Plz give me some suggestions Prabhu .”
REPLY:
Beautiful and open submission. This happens among the devotee circles.
But, this happens is during the initial stage only. That means, until you start to see everyone as the parts and parcels of Krishna.
When one comes to Krishna Bhakti from a family that is highly materialistic without devotional background, he will feel himself as a fortunate guy who has got Krishna when others in his family or circle could not.
(AFTER COMING TO DEVOTION, I HATE MARRIAGE AND LIKE TO SETTLE IN THE TEMPLE. CAN I DO SO? READ HERE!)
During the initial stage, He develops some kind of pride that he is fortunate and others are not. He will start to see even his parents cheaply as if seeing the ignorant people.
He thinks that he has great qualities whereas his family and friends are very ignorant and they are not fit to be his associates.
Other devotees too praise him very liberally even if he performs a small service. Others praise him like “Prabhu, you are a Pure devotee, You are very close to Krishna” like that, even when he is just a budding neophyte devotee.
So, though he likes to remain a good devotee with the domination of satva guna, some pride develops in him.
That is why, it is said that we should go beyond even the Satva guna stage and follow Suddha Satva Guna.
So, he slowly distances himself from the materialistic family, friends, etc.
A devotee should never think like that.
Because, this world needs all types of people.
(After coming to devotion, I hate and avoid non-devotee family and others that makes them angry. Why Krishna allows this? READ HERE!)
A country needs rajo guna dominated people, kshatriyas, to protect the country from the enemies.
A country needs thamo guna dominated people to work under others.
The brahmanas and vaishnavas who are dominated with satva guna, can not effectively perform farming, fighting war, labourious jobs, etc.
So, we need the presence of all types of people in this world.
That is why, Krishna Himself said that only one in thousands of people will even think of Him.
He did not say that all the people can be made as His devotees.
A devotee in the initial stage forgets this fact that ALL ARE IMPORTANT and hence they insult or atleast consider others as ignorant persons.
You need not worry.
(Is Grahastha life Impure & Inferior? Can a Grahastha go back to Krishna? READ HERE!)
Now, you would have understood that this is the way of thinking during the initial stage, not the matured stage in devotion.
When you buy a new bike, you will feel as if you are a superman and you will see those who go by bicycle with pity.
After a week or month, the craze with your bike goes.
Every husband and wife knows how his/ her spouse behaved with him/ her during the initial days after their marriage.
There is a silent trend in the devotional circles.
Many newly initiated devotees start to maintain distance from the non initiated devotees. They feel as if they have gone up in their devotional life. They forget that getting initiation is the START of committed devotional life, NOT THE ADVANCEMENT. In fact, no one can complete the devotional qualification as no one can get absolute perfection as no one can become equal to Krishna in purity.
(I feel shy to follow devotion in front of my family members. What to do? READ HERE!)
Even among the devotees, many like to be the masters, and they are not ready to be servants of the Lord and His devotees. Some may eye for the manager posts in the temples and they may not be ready to accept any position other than the higher post.
A REAL DEVOTEE will identify himself as a servant of Krishna adn His devotees.
So, the religious/ devotional identities, achievements and positions create pride in the minds of the devotees.
So, many devotees will be “over excited” during the initial days of coming to the devotion when they receive appreciation from others.
When they learn more and associate more with the devotees, they will attain maturity in the devotional life and they will learn to avoid the practice of insulting the non devotees.
So, you need not worry for thinking low about others just because you started to follow devotion to Krishna.
Learn more; Associate with the matured devotees more.
(Should a Neophite devotee perform rituals for ancestors and family God? READ HERE!)
Face the experiences in life.
In due course of time, you too will start to see Krishna in everyone and everything.
Then, you will not feel high about yourself and low about others. You will understand that the ego & pride is an offense while following Krishna bhakti and only the servantile attitude is recommended.
As said by Sri Caitanya, a devotee should consider himself as insignificant like a Straw on the roadside.
Do not feel guilt. Treat all others as the parts of Krishna.
Have close association with the matured devotees and have formal contacts with others.
But, never hate anyone..
Grow more and more in devotion.
This evolution may take some time, even years.
But, it will gradually be attained finally.
Hope you are clear about dealing with Ego & Pride while following Krishna bhakti!
(My Vedic Brahmana family is against ISKCON way of devotion. How to explain? READ HERE!)