I am unable to follow devotion and develop detachment from family because of my physical and mental illness. What to do?
A girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“prabhuji i face many health problems. i am a fatty girl my height 5 ft n weight 72 kg..i am also a depression patient taking medicine. i feel pain in my whole body n neck n shoulder n hand. for that i can’t take so much pressure in any work like studies n household work even mentally i can’t tolerate little bit pressure. bt i always try to do devotion. bcz i want to be a devotee. bt i can’t do so much by physically n mentally. bt i really want to be devotee like u. i want to wake up at 4a.m bt i can’t. i contact with a dietician she gives me diet for that i have to eat after 2-3 hrs after every meal. bt i don’t feel gd bcz it feels me wasting of time.. if i always doing this when will do devotion. n i have to do yoga n pranayam 1.5 hrs so i feel vry depressed n often i feel seek plz hlp me my health disturb me a lot plz help.
i want to be emotionally very strong so that i do my devotion very well bcz my father don’t like this.. i hv no attachment with things bt hv lots of attachment with poeple. i lv my fmly n frnd n other ppls also.so plz tell me how to detach from this. i can’t stay away from them. plz tell me wht should think to be detached. i’ m vry cnfusd plz,help me plz help me to be a devotee of krishna… without u i hv no person to get help plz plz help me plz hare krishna..”
Who told you to leave your family? Why should you leave your family?
Even if you leave them, they will be living in your heart and mind. You will be still leading a double life with many mental disturbances.
You are a mentally and physically disturbed girl who needs kind support of family members. Though they are not kind as expected by you, even their presence will give you enormous strength for you.
Detachment is not leaving the people; It is leaving the attachment only.
That means, one should be prepared to manage and live even if anyone of our relatives leave us either temporarily or permanently in death.
And, the people are necessary for us. No one can live in this world without the support of others. Even if you go and live in a forest, you may need anyone to help you even to bring some water when you become ill.
Only the relatives make our life easy.
You may ask what to do if you are tortured by your relatives.
Even in such cases, what I said was true. Out of 6-7 devotees atleast one or two devotees will be supportive to us. We can seek their support when we face any difficult situation. Even your parents spouse, children, brothers or sisters – atleast one of them will help you.
Therefore, I will always emphasize that we need people to be around us.
But, we should not expect that every one of them will be with us all the time. They may leave from this world one by one Or, we will leave them one day.
We should always remember this bitter but unavoidable fact.
If you have this mindset, you will not attach uyour self with others.
This does not mean we should not be merciful with the relatives and surroundings. Being merciful is the BASIC HUMAN NATURE. And a devotee of Krishna will consider every person and thing as the creation of Krishna. Therefore, he will show his love on everyone.
He will just be loveful, but, he will be prepared to face the separation from them at any time.
This is the right mindset with which one should live.
Many devotees start to hate the family members and others just because they are not following the devotional way of life. They also hate studies nd going to job. They prefer to follow devotional practices only without doing any other thing.
This causes fear in the minds of others about your future and hence makes them to discourage the devotee from following his devotion to Krishna.
Therefore, while following devotion, one should respect others and approach others with love and mercy.
If a devotee behaves like this, others will not object him to follow devotion, and they will appreciate you for following the devotional way of life.
Next, let us see about following devotion to Krishna with the physical inabilities.
Devotion means not just jumping or making very hard penances as in Satya yuga or very long fire sacrifices as in Treta yuga, or worshiping in as many temples as possible.
In this kaliyuga, devotion means, chanting the Holy names of Krishna. This is the ultimate form of devotion for Kaliyuga. All other devotional practices are meant for just developing our love on Krishna. By offering food to Krishna regularly, we show our love; By worshiping Krishna every day,, we show our love; By observing fast on ekadasi and other important days, we show our sacrifice for Krishna. By developing material detachment, we can spare our total love on Krishna alone.
But, by chanting Krishna’s Names, we go back to Krishna Himself. This is the ultimate status chanting can give for a devotee.
Even in this chanting, you need not loudly chant if your health is not cooperative. Just chant within mind or with small voice. This can be done by anybody.
Chant from your heart with taste. This does not require money, strong health, etc. Anyone can chant Hare Krishna – even during the last moments of his life.
If you perform all other devotional practices without chanting the Lord’s names, the effect will not be the complete one; whereas, if you chant Lord’s Names, but, you are unable to perform any other devotional practices because of genuine reasons as you have, your chantkng alone will take you to Krishna.
Just spare two hours for Krishna every day and chant in that time During the remaining time work keeping Krishna in mind.
What difficulty you have in this simple form of devotion that gives Krishna Himself?
Therefore, be positive. Proceed with the chanting.
All the best.