What if a Privacy loving devotee is commented for not being social?
A 9th Class Girl Student had asked like this:
“Radhe radhe ji. I am studying in 9th class and I live in a country outside of India. There is one problem. I have 2 good friends who are hard working in studies and also believe in God. Last year, they went back to India. I am still in contact with them through WhatsApp. They like listening to bhajans and have also read Bhagavad Gita few months ago after I sent it to them. Now in school, I have no “friends”, although I believe that God is our true friend. In some other posts, I have read that you advice us to not distance from everyone and make friends with people of good character. For me though, it is hard to find such people. Most of the people are interested in social media, use their phone a lot, are disrespectful to teachers, don’t work in class, etc. I talk to them about school-related topics during classes. In the breaks and lunches though, I now sit alone. If I would sit with them, I would probably have to talk about English songs etc. and they also like to talk about boys a lot for some reason. I am completely happy with sitting on my own and feeling God’s presence with me. I do not at all feel alone or disappointed.
My parents though, have a different view. I am considered good in studies but they are concerned on the social aspect. They do not like that I am not talking much and want me to be more talkative. I am happy in the contemplation of the Lord’s form and although I like helping others in studies, giving them advice on how to work without expectations, I really do not like conversing about pointless topics. To me, it feels egoistic to keep speaking about what they would consider “myself”. I feel that I rely completely on God. I have no interests other than serving Radhe Krishna and the things which people of this age are doing nowadays do not really attract me. It is not that I am trying to run away from the world, but am trying to practice karm yog. Later on, I am thinking of becoming a doctor and giving the money I earn in charity for the poor (without disclosing who I am) and also teaching others about God. I am also learning singing so if possible I was thinking of becoming a bhajan singer. I usually do not talk much at home except for putting bhajans and telling stories about Lord Krishna to my younger brother.
What should I do to please my parents (as they want me to be more talkative)? Also, is there any way I could tell the people in my school about God and make them find true happiness as they are struggling with life? Thank you so much and I will always remain indebted to your help. Sorry for writing so much.”
REPLY:
Don’t worry. Truth seekers always like to remain alone.
I also am a privacy loving devotee and I mostly like to be alone as my 15 hours of works will go without interruption. I talk to others only whenever it is required. However, whenever I do this preaching service for the devotees, I don’t feel lonely, but fully engaged in the thoughts of Krishna and Vaishnavas.
In this selfish society, being social is also becoming risky. If we casually say something to make others happy and remain engaged, today’s sensitive people take our innocent views serious and may quit our association forgetting all our greatness.
(How to find good devotees using Social media to associate or marry? READ HERE!)
Of course, we are not responsible if someone misunderstands us for our no fault. However, if we prefer being alone and just respond whenever others ask us something, we can avoid such incidents and we will be safe with the other people.
Being Social does not mean chatting anything and everything and giving up our individuality for pleasing others.
Every person in this world has unique character and nature.
So, if a Privacy loving devotee is commented for not being social, he should not try to imitate others. It may end in getting mocked as fun by others!
I have seen some boys and girls in western dressing. It may not suit them at all, but, to show them modern, they wear them. Some others drink and smoke to show themselves social. Thus, giving up our individuality and compromising our good principles are not good for leading a good life.
Being social is good for learning from others and to get association. But, it should not be with the compromise of our unique nature. We should always maintain our identity and individuality wherever we are.
(How to develop Social skills for the devotee children who are not social? READ HERE!)
If you are a serious Krishna lover, you should not go to nonsense movies just to please your friends who want you to be social.
If you are a good devotee, you should not freely go everywhere with the girls/ boys just to show yourself social & practical.
If you are interested in coming up in devotion, you should avoid unfavourable conditions like materialistic association and you should stop with the basic and essential queries and replies with them. If you start to associate with them deeply just to show you are social, you will end up in falling down from your higher goals.
When I was in my school going age, I would always be studying sitting at the open terrace. My schoolmates would be playing cricket, foot ball, etc., in the street that I can see from our terrace. They would call me to play. I would refuse and continue studying. They would poke me that I am a girl and hence I would not play street games.
I won’t care their making fun about my focusing in studies and focused only in my studies.
(Social Service and Karma Yoga – Does Krishna consider them equally? READ HERE!)
Now, after 30-35 years, they are living for their family and remain dissatisfied in life. But, Krishna has made me to live for thousands of His devotees and He is keeping me fully satisfied.
The life’s satisfaction level is 100s of times better for me than them.
Had I focused in excessive playing and chatting with friends, I would not have groomed myself as a devotee who can guide others without even a single remark for decades.
If a devotee is forced to be social by his friends, he may have some limited social activity by giving our good qualities to them, not by accepting their unwanted qualities.
We may be working or studying most of the time every day.
So, naturally, we may be tired/ exhausted with the continuous works/ studies.
If we relax our mind for sometime in the middle of work/ studies, it may help us to charge/ refresh our mind.
So, if a devotee is in a compelling situation to be social, he can talk to the friends for five or ten minutes about some productive topics. If they make fun, he can stop responding them in future and leave with a smile.
(Is being affectionate with Relatives attachment that leads to rebirth? READ HERE!)
But, what we talk to them is very important. We should not talk what they prefer. Instead, we should talk about something that is good for their elevation.
We can talk about the subjects, exam tips, or if they are in receiving mood, about god. They should know that you will not talk mundane topics and talk only the productive topics that are useful for studies/ life.
You show your personality like that. All they can do is to make fun of you. Or, unproductive persons may not talk to you. Only a few persons may talk to you.
This is also good. Satisfying more number of friends may be difficult. If a few persons honour your higher goals and principles, talk to them.
One out of ten such persons may be there in every group.
Always follow this formula: Focus 90% of your time in working and 10% of the time for leisure or talking tom others. This will be an optimum formula for a privacy loving devotee.
If such good persons are very less and unstable minded, do not worry. Have a small, handy counter machine and chant in leisure time. Or read the beautiful literatures about Krishna. Or hear devotional songs/ kirtans in a mild volume.
Focus in the assignments that elevate you in life. Do not compromise it just to satisfy those who are highly materialistic.
Hope this helps to deal if a Privacy loving devotee is commented for not being social.
(Feeling lonely by being a devotee in the family of material people! Tips! READ HERE!)