Home Sickness & Missing Opportunities: Tips to get rid of it!
Qn. In detail from a male student: “Sir i have emotional attachment in leaving my birth place and family friends for preparation of UPSC in Delhi..i am scare of new place and new people and i think if i will go there cannot live there. How to deal with this emotional attachment? guide me as A teacher.”
REPLY:
This is just “Home sick” that is because of more attachment with the family members and friends. This is not a serious issue as everyone would like to be with kiths and kins only.
I too had this in my school/ college age.
So far, you have spent all the time with your family, friends, town, etc.
Therefore, naturally, you would have developed an emotional bond with all of them.
This is natural for all. Even animals show love to others.
(How to follow Krishna Consciousness in an irresponsible family? READ HERE!)
Let us know about Home Sickness & Missing Opportunities with the tips to get rid of it!
But, the reality is, no relation or material in this world is permanent. Only the CHANGE is UNCHANGEABLE in this world.
Life has so many dimensions and phases – Birth, Childhood, student age, youth, married life, children, then, old age, pains and death finally.
In this long life, we have to meet so many people, deal with so many problems, and have to move from here and there many times to fulfill our responsibilities.
(Devotees should be Humble, Not Coward! – An Interesting Analysis! READ HERE!)
If you adamantly stay in a single place from your birth to death, you can never grow.
See the ants. They travel somewhere to gather eatables for them and save them for their future needs.
Honeybees? They go everywhere, collect honey from hundreds of flowers and live.
What about the Birds? They travel even from continent to continent for their living. The mother bird keeps the baby bird in the net and go out and bring the food for the babies and feed them.
Animals? Bulls, goats, cows, etc go out of their living place to get the grass they need for living.
Thus, every creature is destined to move from one place to another for its living.
As far as we, the humans are concerned, every person has to move somewhere throughout their life.
We have seen the husbands going abroad to earn for their family’s welfare.
Take the defense services. Many persons leave their home and work for their country in defense.
(WHY FOLLOWING DEVOTION NEGLECTING PARENTS IS WRONG? – CASE STUDIES! READ HERE!)
Many cross the sea for trading.
If they have home sick, can they earn for their family?
Why do they go and earn from a place that is far from their home?
Only to help and maintain their family.
If they feel that their family will miss them if they go away for earning and hence remain with their family members, how can their family survive decently?
A person develops home sickness because he feels that he is the most important part of his family and the family will miss him if he goes away for studying or earning.
This is just an illusion.
Everyone is bound by his / her karma. Whether you are with the family or away from the family, anything will happen for everyone as per the fixed karma.
Will all the sufferings of the family get cleared just because you are with them without earning anything?
No chance.
(USING OUR STUDIES AS SERVICE TO KRISHNA! SIMPLE TIPS! READ HERE!)
If you are with them all the time without earning, their sufferings will increase because you too will become an additional burden for them.
Just because a husband loves his wife, can he remain with her all the time?
If he remains so, even his wife will not like it.
Love need not be shown always in person.
When the most of the countries of the world declared lock down and asked the people not to come out of home for one month to prevent the spread of coronavirus, more number of divorces came to the courts because there were more issues when the husbands and wives remained in the house all the 24 hours. Thus, too much of closeness will lead to saturation and also some arguments and other issues.
Even if you leave your family to another town for studying or earning, you can show your love to your family by calling them every day and speaking with love.
In your case, if you miss the chance of studying good courses in in this age and remain with your family, they themselves will always tell you that you must have gone out of home for studies instead of remaining with them.
(I am upset both in material and spiritual lives. What to do? READ HERE!)
What is going to happen to your parents and others if you go away from them for Delhi for studies? Will they die? Will they suffer with separation?
No.
They will proudly tell others that their son is doing his higher studies in Delhi.
In fact, it will add prestige to them because you are doing something productively instead of being with them unproductively.
Your parents may be in their forties or fifties. They still have their good life time.
If you do studies successfully in Delhi, get a good job and earn well, the same parents will praise you. You can keep them happily if you study and earn well. Otherwise, you will always be the burden for them and they can not spend for you throughout your life.
With this good settlement, you can take care of your parents comfortably in their old age later.
(Also read THIS POST: The right process of sanyasa and devotion in kaliyuga in the absence of varnashrama dharma.)
If you miss good opportunities with the desire to be with your parents now, you yourself will become a burden for them in their last period.
And, now a days, no parent is ready to give their daughter in marriage to a boy who do not have a proper earning. Therefore, the marriage also may see issues if you hesitate now.
Your parents will be worrying that their son is not settled in a good job. This home sickness will make you and your parents feel in the later period.
Opportunities will not knock the doors again and again. Whenever God shows some opportunities to every person, he should catch it and come up in their life.
Again I say: Your family members will not die just because you are studying at Delhi. They will happily welcome you when you return back as a successful guy. So, instead of developing home sickness, move away boldly.
(How One falls due to attachments as said by Krishna? READ HERE!)
What else a child can give to his parents except the happiness that their son/ daughter is taking care of his life with his own efforts successfully?
In Tamil, there is a wonderful book namely THIRUKKURAL. A Kural (verse) in that book says:
“The best help a son can do to his father is to live a life that others say how fortunate this father is to have got a son like this”
If you study, earn well and lead a disciplined life, this itself is the best happiness you can give to your parents.
Most importantly, study well, go to a good job and also be a good devotee of Krishna. This will make your life meaningful.
Instead of doing this, why do you hesitate to leave for studies because of home sickness?
Think all my points above and act now. Reserve a ticket to Delhi. Do not miss the opportunities. Study well and add a good fame to your parents.
All the best.
(Why should we love our family members since Krishna advices to give up attachments ? READ HERE!)