What if avoiding Illicit Relations is difficult in some countries?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji, I have some questions that I don’t know whom to ask. I think of you as someone qualified to give me guidance. Could you please spend some time to answer my questions please? Thank you Prabhuji.
(1) I understand no illicit relations is critical for a devotee. But living in this free country, it’s very very hard to practice no illicit relationships. All boys have certain expectations. I know you’d advise me to find a devotee boy. But in my city ………. it’s not like India. How could I find someone who’s devotee especially I’m only an initiated devotee.
(2) As as single girl, can I become the Yajman at the Krishna puja on the Jaimashtami? I read that it’s for married couple only. I want to receive blessings from Krishna to help me find a husband.
Please advise me Prabhuji. Hare Krishna.”
REPLY:
See, discipline means, avoiding prohibited acts IN ANY SITUATION without excemption or excuse.
In psychological treatment, there is a system followed by the psychiatrists.
Read a true incident:
A girl became mad because she was loving her neighbour boy.
One day, the father of that boy was transferred to far away city. So, he left with the parents parting her.
(How to come out of the Guilt of my Illicit Sexual Offenses in Vrindavan? READ HERE!)
She had been very deep in her infatuation as she was just 14 at that time.
I was helping that family by taking them to a popular psychiatrist. I also allowed them to stay in my home till they finish the treatment.
After a month of treatment, she seemed to have improved.
So, the doctor told them to go back to their town and come for revision once a month.
I asked the psychiatrist: “Doctor, should they stay in the same house? Won’t the memories of that boy be coming again if they stay in the same house? Can they change their house?”
The doctor simply rejected my question saying:
“No. The real treatment is to make her live normally in the same place where she acquired the mental issue.”
This is real.
(How to repent for our past illicit activities and sins? READ HERE!)
The real mind control is to live in the same disturbed atmosphere, not escaping from that by giving excuses and reasons.
Same applies in discipline also.
Though a woman earns by selling of body as her profession, we should be pure even in such a disturbed / contaminated condition.
Even in an area where the pros……ion is happening everywhere, a woman can live with dignity if she decides to live so.
If one stays pure without stealing money in the house of a poor person, it is not a remarkable thing. If that person stays honest in the house of a billionaire who allows him to deposit and withdraw from banks, it is the remarkable thing.
It is not great to be disciplined when there are no girls nearby. But, if a boy is stable without violations when there are plenty of girls in a private atmosphere.
(If One involves in illicit relations as per karma, why it adds karma again? READ HERE!)
In Indian Villages, being disciplined may be easy because every activity will be watched by others. But, avoiding Illicit Relations in the heart of big cities is really a remarkable thing because the parents can’t find if their children is wandering in another pin code within the same city. No one cares the activities of others in cities. Even if a murder happens in the next flat, it is not known to the neighbours.
Discipline means being honest and virtuous even in an atmosphere in which there are more easy opportunities for violating without the knowledge of others.
So, ONLY YOUR CONSCIENCE IS YOUR POLICEMAN.
KRISHNA TOO IS WATCHING AS SILENT WITNESS FROM YOUR HEART.
The human beings SHOULD NOT LIVE LIKE ANIMALS. They are expected to evaluate which activities are permitted and which activities are prohibited and then avoid violations.
If one does not live like that, that means, he is living an animal life. He need not call himself a human being.
So, though 90% of the people in a locality are violators, a devotee should remain pure and honest because his purpose of life is to get Krishna.
(Can a devotee having past illicit violations get the mercy of Krishna? READ HERE!)
To get Krishna, Purity is the force.
I have been serving through online media since the year 2011. All of you know, we have lakhs of fans. Hundreds of males and females are sending communications to me sharing their personal issues for getting counselled.
But, there is not even a single incident that I have violated discipline in my approach towards women. Discipline is the Prime requirement for a devotee. If there is no discipline, he is not a matured devotee at all. He is not eligible to guide others.
Just because this media is following ethical practices and discipline, it stays as a Blessed & Popular media.
So, though avoiding Illicit Relations is difficult in your country where free mingling of men and women are common, follow the rule of NO ILLICIT RELATIONS strictly. This is the real test for a devotee like you. If you stay disciplined in this atmosphere, it will attract Krishna as Krishna likes Pure devotees.
Most of the devotees are facing such atmosphere throughout the world including India, because even cultural country India is copying western culture forgetting their glorious status.
So, do not feel inferior for staying pure among impure people.
This is also a test for the devotees.
Hope you are clear now about avoiding Illicit Relations is difficult in some countries.
(If a devotee involves in illicit relations, is he still a devotee? READ HERE!)
Next question – being Yajaman (Lead) in pujas by donating something to the temple.
In general, the Vedic rituals should be done only by married persons as per the vedic tradition. So, they would have told so. Do not insist to change the rules. You can go back to Krishna even without becoming yajaman because it is just donating something for festivals to perform pujas along with the pandit. A devotee should not even desire for going back to Krishna. He should leave everything to Krishna and folow devotion just as an instrument in the hands of Krishna.
In my case, I even do not sit in the first row in the temples. I always select a place in the last row.
Because, IF WE STAY HUMBLE WHILE LIVING, WE WILL BE CLOSER TO KRISHNA WHEN WE GO BACK TO HIM ONE DAY.
Even for having darshans in some temples, I allow others to get darshan by moving that place within a second or two.
So, do not worry for not being an YAJAMAN. Being a SERVANT of the SERVANT of the devotees is the TOPMOST POSITION in devotion.
Hope you are clear now .
(The illicit activities that should be avoided by the devotees! READ HERE!)