How to decide whether the advices of Co-devotees Genuine or not?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Namaste prabhu, Hare Krishna, Hope all is well at your side for your services.
I have a question which is bothering me for a long time. As a practicing devotee , i am not without any trace of material attachments. So during devotee relationships, i found many instances where the devotee hints directly or indirectly that he is wishing for things to go in such a way that my material attachments do not get fulfilled. (I am not talking about big greedy attachments, even simple ones like being with parents, getting married etc.). There are two ways to view this, that the devotee cares for my spiritual progress and is in fear that I may be entangled in material things by these and so wishes against them..Second one is they are averse to those things which I wish for. It is very difficult to find out which of these two is the reason or what proportion is the two mixed? How do I ascertain which case is it? and how should one handle such relationships/circumstances? Please post my question as anonymous without my name Thanks.
I have become a regular reader of your posts and it is inspiring many times.
Regards…….”
REPLY:
I understand your doubt.
Other devotees advice you about your ordinary activities on the basis of your detachment level.
You doubt whether they are really caring or because of their aversion to those activities.
Here, activity can be anything like getting married, being with the parents and siblings, buying house, etc.
See, most of the devotees may advice considering your situation. But, some may be rigid and they may expect you to follow a life like a sanyasi. It is a gradual reformation, not immediate.
(Fearing for marriage after initiation unwilling to part parents – Solutions! READ HERE!)
Everyone may have different views on any matter.
Some say that being a brahmachari for ever is good for devotion. Some others say that being a grahastha is good.
If you mingle with many devotees, you may come across different views on the same matter.
Matured devotees who know the background of every co devotee will not guide you in such a way that is difficult to follow by you.
Some other devotees may push their realizations upon you.
For example, one might have been cheated by a girl. He may advice others that the women should not be trusted at all.
They simply forget that their mother too is a woman.
Some others would have been advised not to do something by a person. So, out of irritation, they may brand him as an egoistic devotee.
Thus, there are cases in which the devotees advice others based on their personal experience.
I too have come across such advices exchanged to me and other devotees.
(DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE FOR MEN AND WOMEN – VERDICT OF INDIAN SCRIPTURES! READ HERE!)
A Prabhu ji preached that the women are the representatives of maya.
Only in my forties, ie, after I lost my youth, I realized that there are many good women too, who stand as pillars in many families.
I reviewed the lectures of that devotee in my forties. I found that he should not have generalized like all women are the representatives of maya.
He should have advised that there are violating persons among both men and women.
Both the men and women commit violations. Once upon a time, there were no opportunities for women to violate as they were inside the home due to restrictions.
Now, the women enjoy full freedom to do all the activities and jobs done by the men.
So, a part of them too get more opportunities to violate. Matured girls/ women who know the effect of such violations avoid them and lead a good life. Some tend to violate.
My point is, there are good and bad persons among both men and women.
But, that Prabhuji spoke as if women are the representatives of maya and men alone are the representatives of Krishna.
These things happen because in many sathsanghas, more importance is given for the outlook of the devotees.
(Outlook Vs Internal Changes – Which is more important? A thrilling Story! READ HERE!)
A Good devotee servant need not be a good speaker. A good speaker of mundane things need not be a good preacher. Though majority of the devotees know the rules of preaching, sometimes, a few devotees preach unwanted things that should not be delivered in public. So, we need intelligence for deciding whether the advices of Co-devotees Genuine or not.
I met privately and humbly advised that Prabhuji (though he was senior to me at that time) not to speak generalized comments about any community such as all women are maya, people are cheaters, politicians are thieves, etc because it may hurt some devotees. He agreed to my views and started to be careful in delivering public address.
We should not speak generalized views over mike and books during preaching.
Such sensitive topics should be preached only to those who are well matured to receive that.
I too have posted such sensitive topics like marriage, violations, etc. I have always advised the devotees to decide on marriage based on their own background by listing the pros and cons of both the married and unmarried lives. Then, I leave the decision to the reader himself.
If I publicly preach that marriage is not good for devotion, I am an offender and half cooked preacher.
Because in my astrological experience with thousands of charts, I have observed that more than remarkable percentage of the people have excessive sense disturbances. If I advise commonly to all discouraging marriage, those percentage of devotees will be oscillating between senses and devotion. After hearing our preaching, they may stay away from marriage losing their young age. Then, unable to control their senses, they may think of marriage in their 40s or 50s. Or, some of them may involve in violations though they follow chanting, changing the appearance and visiting temples, etc.
(Can I marry a devotee seeing his outlook and activities only in the temple, NOT OUTSIDE? READ HERE! )
This is happening in many sathsanghas. That is why, during the vedic period, the gurukulas preached the disciples after thorough evaluation. They did not teach everything to everyone.
I boldly say that preaching by giving conclusions about sensitive topics publicly should be avoided. We should have a system to preach such sensitive topics only to the selected devotees who do not like to marry naturally.
In my twenties, I did not have sufficient maturity to evaluate and took wrong decisions.
Once, I enquired many devotees who stopped coming to the lectures after one or two times in the temples. They helplessly said that these preaching can’t be followed by them because they have a typical situation in their families that necessitates them to take more attention to the family.
So, the preachers should realize that they are walking on the sharp knife.
Krishna has just said to perform the assigned duties without attachments. If marriage is pushed upon you as per your horoscope (karma) and if your senses are unable to be controlled, you should not avoid marriage.
If all the people become sanyasis, who will offer biksha to the sanyasis?
Also remember, though we preach to lakhs of devotees, as said by Krishna, Only a few fortunate will become really sincere devotees. So, we should have a mechanism to select a certain level of devotees and preach according to their level and background. Only Bhagavad Gita should be preached publicly as it gives balanced advice to nicely balance the life and devotion.
(Some Devotees are gossiping and talking while chanting! Is it right? READ HERE!)
In some cases, we are deceiving ourselves. We just say that it is not wrong to use anything if it is used for Krishna. Here too there are risks. To preach, we get internet connection. We read about Krishna thru internet. But, while reading, we get an advertisement link with inducing contents. Matured devotees may pooh pooh those ads. But, if those devotees who have more sense disturbances and less control see such ads or links, their senses induce them to think why we can’t they see that only once. So, he goes following the link and then, everything is finished. His mind is corrupted.
Thus, risk is there in preaching. I daringly say: Do not preach if you yourself are confused and undecided. Do not preach if you yourself are struggling with the senses and commit violations in the background.
You have right to preach not to involve in violations with the persons of opposite gender. You have no right or authority to advise others not to marry. They have to decide based on their background and the level of their sense control.
Who gives us right to preach not to marry when Krishna Himself did not say so in even a single sloka out of 700 slokas? Krishna preached just to skip attachments, not the people.
You have full permission to do anything that is not condemned by Krishna in Bhagavad Gita.
Krishna is our ultimate authority. The preachers are just carriers of the messages of Krishna. Some of the preachers may be wrong because humans are prone to commit offences. But, Krishna’s preaching can’t be wrong.
(Why many sadhus grow hairs in head, beard, moustache but Brahmanas and Vaishnavas shave? READ HERE!)
See, I have been writing that even in many Puranas, there were some content changes to satisfy the kings since the Puranas came from mouth to mouth. Bhagavad Gita is the ultimate reference material that alone we should follow. Krishna has given gentle but strong advices in Bhagavad Gita and I can guarantee that if a devotee follows the messages of Bhagavad Gita, he will never face struggles in life.
Srila Prabhupada too said in a conversation in Jakarta on 27.02.1973:
“The essence of Sastra is Bhagavad Gita. So, anyone who studies Bhagavad Gita minutely will become perfect”
So, my advice to you is: Whoever preaches you, just evaluate whether it matches with the advice of Krishna in Bhagavad Gita. If not, do not follow his preaching. Instead, follow what Bhagavad Gita says. This is the only way of deciding whether the advices of Co-devotees and others Genuine or not.
I beg all the devotees to read Bhagavad Gita repeatedly many times every day. Just develop the mindset encouraged in Bhagavad Gita.
Bhagavad Gita alone is sufficient to lead a devotional life following our assigned duties.
If you do this, you can be a good devotee though you work, marry, be with the parents, etc.
Krishna Himself married, but did not get attached to Kama as He Himself is complete in renunciation.
Krishna Himself loved and respected His parents. He never hated them.
Krishna Himself was loved by hundreds of Gopis. He did not get attached to them. He performed those lilas for the satisfaction of His devotees.
(Is avoiding marriage to serve Krishna and parents right? READ HERE!)
But, when a need came for Him to leave Vrindavan to go to Mathura, he deserted His parents, Radharani, all the Gopis, Gopas, Cows, etc and left Vrindavan to perform His next task of protecting dharma.
This is the real renouncement.
Not hating others.
I am writing this spending my energy in a hope that the devotees in our media will be intelligent devotees who can’t be misguided or cheated by anyone.
Without hearing these honest advices,. If you go behind those who are religious in look, but corrupted in the mind, sorry, even Krishna can’t save you, because Krishna says that He is our intelligence.
Apply your intelligence and protect yourself.
That is why, I have been crying in our media to be an intelligent devotee, not just emotional without thinking. Emotion is primary for loving Krishna, but intelligence should also be applied whenever we hear something from others before deciding whether it is correct or not. For, deciding whether the advices of Co-devotees Genuine or not, always refer Bhagavad Gita.
Hear what the preachers say, and what Bhagavad Gita say. If the advice of the preacher violates the words of the Supreme Personality of Godhead Krishna in Bhagavad Gita, simply do not follow the words of that preacher – whoever he may be.
Review how you can apply the advice of Krishna in your life based on your background.
I came to this service of preaching only after ascertaining that I will not give any advice that will ruin the life of even a single devotee. That is why, our site became popular within a short period. Honesty in preaching without violating our conscience and Krishna’s words will always get the blessings of Krishna.
(How to cultivate the children disciplined in treating the women with dignity? READ HERE!)
I too was in your position in my twenties in the matter of deciding whether the advices of Co-devotees Genuine or not. I too was confused. I too took some wrong decisions in twenties and am suffering now. When I realized the actual fact as said by Krishna in Bhagavad Gita, I came to the preaching to protect the devotees from getting affected by hundreds of opinions spread everywhere by different levels of devotees.
Now, I am peaceful that I have done my duty as honestly as possible since the year 2011. So, I am free from guilt. I sleep peacefully that I am guiding others honestly with the mercy of Krishna.
I feel so happy seeing some gems of our devotees who consider sharing these HONEST preaching to others and also help me to their level best in different ways. I also pray to Krishna to clear the ego (or) laziness (or) carelessness (or) shyness of the devotees who do not realize the value of our honest words and do not share them thereby failing to save more and more devotees from getting confused in their young age.
I also pray to Krishna to protect the devotees from trusting only the outlook of the devotees without evaluation of their actual standing in devotional maturity, but doubt the devotees who are serving Krishna by being humble and insignificant.
This is kaliyuga. Everyone should apply their intelligence and compare the bombarding messages with Bhagavad Gita to avoid getting misguided whoever they follow and whatever they hear.
In ISKCON, it is taught in the ISKCON DISCIPLES COURSE that we should reject even a guru if he speaks violating the sastras and do not have sense control. Then, what about other fellow devotees we come across every day!
So, always be vigilant. Follow the recommended system, but do not be blind to believe whatever you hear or read..
Thanks my dear Krishna for giving this opportunity to share the voice of my conscience in this serious matter. So, thanks for you too for asking this question. Had you allowed me, I would have published your name. Its alright.
I hope that my 4 hours of typing (that increased my B.P as I typed with anger seeing the current trend of Kaliyuga) will not go in vein and atleast hundred the devotees start to follow such an approach.
ESSENCE OF THIS POST:
Follow any advice only if it does not violate Krishna’s words in Bhagavad Gita. There can be no better advice than those given by Krishna in Bhagavad Gita. He has said everything within 700 slokas. Kindly read Bhagavad Gita as Part of your daily life again and again.
Hope you are clear about deciding whether the advices of Co-devotees Genuine or not.
(BALANCED DEVOTEE & BRAINWASHED DEVOTEE – DIFFERENCES! READ HERE!)