If the parents object the devotional life, how can a child continue it?
A girl devotee who requested anonymity asked like this:
“Hare krishna ji…can i know what should be attitude of a devotee.. if just started…and what if the schedule is excessively busy…how do u manage… in case of heavy schedule…what minimum can a just started devotee do and how should be his/her lifestyle living in material environment and highly materialistic atmosphere…
wt if the family members fear that if we have started devotion…we will turn to b a sannyasi…n try to resist devotion indirectly and directly… wt if family members disclose the devotional practices of devotee in public… i am a school going girl.. in 12th standard.. my board exams are very close… n so i have very tight schedule.. plus my parent’s fear that i will be deviated n turn to sannyasi…wt should i do… u said in some of ur posts that don’t care for non-devotees…etc..but how can i avoid the orders and instructions of my parents… n after all they want my benefit… so acc to them they are right.. n i don’t want to be away from K.C. plz guide…hare krishna..no emergency… (plz hide my name)
REPLY:
(1)
The family fears whether their child may become sanyasi ONLY IF we overact as a devotee.
Being a devotee is not a license to avoid all our duties meant for family and our own living.
When we deviate from our regular duties and concentrate only in the devotional practices and start to hate material relations and friends, the problem starts.
Seeing their child’s over-reactions, they fear that you are starting to hate the people and becoming like a sanyasi.
Most of the devotees commit this mistake while following serious devotional life.
(Why following devotion neglecting parents wrong? – Case Studies! READ HERE!)
Krishna has clearly said that we can not avoid assigned duties and if we avoid, we can not even maintain our body.
Let us analyze this advice:
Even for following devotion properly, you need a perfect health and money.
Only if you live, you can follow devotion. To live, you need money.
To earn money, you need good performance in your studies because in this advanced material world, we can survive only if we study well and score high.
Though you may claim that you can earn even without studies, in this technology oriented world, you can earn only a meagre earning without studies and you will have to put plenty of physical works to earn even that small earning that will be insufficient to lead life.
So, you MUST study well to get some good earning that will be sufficient for normal living.
(My parents object my ekadasi fasting. What to do? READ HERE!)
You may say that you can get your food and shelter in temples free of cost. But, this is practically impossible. The temples can accomadate and feed just required number of devotees. If the number of resident devotees are more than the requirement for that temple, you can not stay there. And, even the temples need plenty of money to run. If all the youth abandon jobs and settle in temples, how can the temples feed them without getting any revenue?
So, I never support quitting regular duties for performing devotion. So, I advise you to study well and score high while practicing devotion. This will make the parents happy as your regular performance is not affected because of devotional practices.
And,. speak to your parents with love and kindness as we can never live without the support of material people. In our every movement, we need the support of workers like vendors, cleaners, teachers, etc.
So, a devotee should not hate anyone, but should be very merciful to all. Even to a dog.
So, study well, behave with love to all, marry by selecting a right guy who can help you in devotion and who is having some own earning. Earning is also very important for living.
When you act like this, there will be no issue of the parents object the devotional life.
(2)
When you are too busy without having time for spiritual practices, you can follow atleast some rounds of chanting, follow regulative disciplinary principles and worshipping Lord for just 5 minutes offering food for Him. This is enough. Even for chanting, you can wake up atleast 30 minutes earlier than now. Thus, you can manage atleast these basic things.
(What if the Parents & family object getting initiation (diksha) now? READ HERE!)
(3)
Finally, I never advised to avoid non devotees. I just said to avoid ASSOCIATION with them. Association means attachment also. So, you can never desert your parents and no need for that.
You can make the objecting parents as co-operative parents by following my above tips. When a daughter/ son is performing all her/ his regular duties, helping the parents, having kind approach and scoring high or doing job to earn, how can a parent object her/ him while performing devotional practices?
You should also tell them that you will not quit marriage and marry a suitable guy after discussing with the parents.
This approach will remove the fear from the minds of parents and thus, you can perform devotional practices even while associating with your parents without attachment. “Without attachment” means standing on your own legs and not depending on others for anything and not considering the relations as eternal.
That’s all. I too am living like this. My whole surroundings are very happy with me and they too are following devotion to Krishna on seeing me as I never missed any of my regular duties from doing properly.
Thus, we need a balancing approach between the spiritual assignments and material assignments.
Material assignments for maintaining this body. Spiritual assignments for maintaining athma. We can cultivate athma ONLY BY using this body. Then, you can never avoid maintaining body. So, you can not escape from duties.
Hope this advice will help the youth to balance both material and spiritual duties simultaneously and pleasing the parents also. Hereafter you won’t complain that the parents object the devotional life.
(What to do if the parents object going to ISKCON? READ HERE!)