Why women are encouraged to be housewives in devotee circles?
A Student girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Pranaam prabhu ji I am following ISKCON videos and blog articles since last 2 years. I was very much attracted towards their content regarding bhagwat gita, bhagwatam and nectar of devotion and shrila Prabhupaad. I was strongly convinced that in kaliyuga there is no other way than harinaam sankirtan and 16 rounds of japa . Wherever I see, the devotees always favour housewife culture and follow stridharma and do bhakti. They don’t try to cover practical scenario and other cases. I am a girl devotee (unmarried). If possible please don’t disclose my name. Hare krishna”
REPLY:
Your confusion about why women are encouraged to be housewives in devotee circles, is genuine one.
You are already convinced that there is no other way than following Harinam Sankirtan and 16 rounds of Japa.
This is good.
But, You have issues in balancing the studies and devotion after seeing the women getting encouraged to be housewives.
(Can women worship Shaligram Shila? READ HERE!)
My question is: Why do you go to that level of thinking about stri dharma, serious devotion, etc., while studying?
I have repeatedly advised not to go to the advanced learnings in devotion while studying as it may affect the concentration in your studies.
Because in the age of 16 or 17, you can’t take right decision whether to remain a housewife or working woman.
Because, it is decided by the karma network.
It is not to be decided by you.
(Why there is inequality among men and women in scriptures? READ HERE!)
All you can do is –
Study in the age of studying.
Aim for job in the age of going to the job.
Marry in the age of marriage.
Decide every next step in every appropriate age. Don’t imagine so many things in advance and get confused.
Keep the devotion always active within you without diluting and also focus in studies and career. But, take serious devotion after your basic duties such as studies, getting the job are completed.
I don’t advice against following devotion while studying.
I just advice to avoid going deep into the concepts while studying as it may affect the performance in studies.
Only if your goal of life is to become a full time devotee, you should go deep in the devotional path even while studying. But, the risk is that you may not be able to take a matured decision about devotional life while studying, ie, in the age of aggressive emotions and lack of experience.
(Should a devotee couple stop sense gratification after getting child? READ HERE!)
So, my advice to you is:
Don’t worry thinking why the women are encouraged to be housewives. It is not applicable in all cases.
Focus in the studies first. Perform well in the exams.
Develop employability skills (Soft skills) while studying.
If you have the interest to go to the job, try sincerely and get one and perform well in the job also.
Develop the awareness about how the women can sustain the effects of kaliyuga.
Unless a woman has good studies and job, she may feel insecured. This is the bitter fact.
Yes, it is true that women may feel very comfortable and healthy if she remains a housewife. She can also develop the children with good care.
But, today’s boys prefer working girls more. So, it is not true in all cases to consider all women are encouraged to be housewives
In another angle, though she does not have all other fortunes, atleast her job may save her.
If a girl gets a husband who likes his wife to be a good housewife, she is fortunate.
(How to decide whether the advices of Co-devotees Genuine or not? READ HERE!)
But, such boys are less in numbers.
If you fully dedicate to the service of the Lord and are ready to marry a full time devotee boy, you can remain a house wife.
But, there is no guarantee that you will definitely get such a boy.
In my observation, most of the full time devotees do not prefer to marry at all. They have escaped from such bondages and have dedicated for the service of the Lord.
So, most of the fully dedicated boys remain brahmacharis for ever. Or, they cross their marriage age in the confusion of whether to marry or not.
Of course, some brahmacharis like to marry full time devotee housewives. But, not in large numbers.
In such a situation, you should not focus less in studies and career.
(How to serve Krishna through our job or business of earning money? READ HERE!)
That is why, I advice not to focus deeply in devotion while following studies.
During the studies, memorize the slokas of Bhagavad Gita and Bhagavatham, chant atleast a few rounds daily for 30 minutes, follow regulative principles and take only prasadam. This is enough.
Read about Grahasthashramam, full time dedicated devotee life, detachment, etc after going to the job.
Marry a similar working devotee boy and follow devotional life as a Grahastha with the husband.
So, do not focus less in studies now. Studies are the basic requirement for every person in this kaliyuga.
A job is the next important safeguard for everyone.
Now a days, a job has become important for the women also.
So, first study well and work.
Marry a devotee boy and start learning the deep concepts of devotion.
This will help you to lead a responsible married life as a devotee.
After studies, increase the number of rounds of chanting and read all the concepts of devotional life.
I have given the above advice though I know that being a house wife is better for women considering the future of children.
But, since the devotion can also be followed as a working devotee, considering the expectations of the boys nowadays and the cost of living in this kaliyuga, I have given the above advice.
So, right now, focus in studies, then get a good job. Follow the above recommended devotional aspects only during this student age.
You have age. You can take serious devotion after marriage or atleast after going to the job.
Hope you are clear now about why women are encouraged to be housewives in devotee circles.
(Devotion affecting the Studies? Tips to do well in both! READ HERE!)