Should one desert the wife to become a serious devotee?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna prabuji, i inform you that i am married person and i am going to Vaishnava life. So kindly tell me which time better for closed my wife. please my name give to hidden list”
REPLY:
You have written about closing the wife.
Oh, Is your wife a television set to buy and throw whenever you want?
Is she your footwear to throw at your will after using for years?
Wife is a human being with the bundle of feelings and consciousness.
She is not an object to use and throw.
(Parents (or) Krishna – Whom Should the Girls and boys Prefer To Serve? READ HERE!)
You have not given valid reason for deserting wife to become a serious devotee.
It seems that you have totally misunderstood the devotional life.
Sanyasa is not just deserting the wife fearing for problems and responsibilities..
It is to fully dedicate to the lord’s service. Not just for eating and sleeping with no responsibilities.
The scriptures have given the option of sanyasa because focusing in the family may be a disturbance for the sanyasi who will serve for the entire world.
You need not desert the wife to become a serious devotee. Just follow devotion along with your wife.
(Eligibility & Timing to become a Sanyasi? Can a Sanyasi Marry? READ HERE!)
In case your wife does not cooperate in your devotion, you follow devotion privately.
Desert your wife only if she has extra marital affairs or torturing nature or the nature of disturbing your devotional way of life.
Srila Prabhupada says in his purport to Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila, 7.128-9:
“Many people come and inquire whether they have to give up family life to join the Society, but that is not our mission. One can remain comfortably in his residence. We simply request everyone to chant the maha-mantra: Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. If one is a little literate and can read Bhagavad-gita As It Is and Srimad-Bhagavatam that is so much the better. If a devotee follows the instructions of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, he lives in the company of the Lord. Wherever he lives, he converts that place into Vrndavana and Navadvipa. This means that materialism cannot touch him. This is the secret of success for one advancing in Krsna consciousness.”
(Why Krishna wants us to desert everything, but He wears rich ornaments? READ HERE!)
In Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila, 16.69-70:
A grhastha resident of Kulina-grama asked the Lord Caitanya: ‘My Lord, kindly tell me what my duty is and how I should execute it’.
The Lord replied, ‘You should engage yourself in the service of the servants of Krsna and always chant the holy name of Krsna. If you do these two things, you will very soon attain shelter at Krsna’s lotus feet.
So, why should you look for a date to desert your wife?
Think of deserting your wife only in extreme cases as advised above. Do not treat your wife like a material. She is a jeevan with all feelings and goals like you.
If you have a good wife and you desert her, it is not at all recommended.
(Can one really follow Krishna Consciousness in family life? READ HERE!)
If a grahastha follows the grahastha life with a single wife as per the rules, he is also a brahmachari as said by Srila prabhupada.
Therefore, stop thinking of deserting your wife for becoming a vaishnava.
A vaishnava is above the brahmachari, grahastha, vanaprastha and sanyasa.
So, be a grahastha vaishnava until your wife cooperates.
If she is seriously a barrier for your devotional service, then look for the date to desert your wife.
Do not punish an innocent wife who did no harm for you by deserting wife to become a serious devotee.
(CAITANYA’s BOLD ADVICE FOR BALANCING DEVOTION & FAMILY! READ HERE!)