PROS AND CONS OF BRAHMACHARYA AND GRAHASTHA (MARRIED) LIVES!
A devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
Hare Krishna Prabhu, pamho, dandavathpranam, please describe, only pros of Brahmacharyam and only cons of Grahastha. Please enlighten me with your encourgament, supporting Brahmarcharya. All glories to Vaishnavas!!
REPLY:
You have asked a conditional question and expect me to write only the points that will encourage you avoiding marriage life and following brahmacharya all the time. You may like to be a brahmachari and hence asked only the pros of brahmacharya and only the cons of grahastha life.
I can’t write like that because I can’t present a biased article that will divert the readers towards a particular decision only. As a balanced writer, I will write both the pros and cons of both the brahmachari life and grahastha life to be considered and decided. You then decide based on all those points.
PROS AND CONS OF BRAHMACHARI LIFE
PROS OF BRAHMACHARI LIFE:
(1) Brahmacharya life is free from the responsibilities of managing a family, taking care of wife, children, etc, spending for their needs, education, marriage, etc. So, a brahmachari can spare more time and attention for devotion.
(2) Brahmachari life will be very helpful to directly become a sanyasi without the barrier of serving the family.
(3) He need not compromise in devotion just to satisfy his wife in her needs.
(4) He need not buy properties and save for his generations after his life time.
(5) He can serve the Lord full time staying in the temples. Grahasthas are not allowed to live in temples.
CONS OF BRAHMACHARI LIFE:
(1) He will suffer in his old age or during the time of disease if he has no family. Even if he stays in an old age home, someone has to come for him to sign the papers. If he has no one to admit in the old age homes but join on his own, he may be cheated or abused by the runners of the homes.
(2) Man is a social animal. He is expected to live with the other people. Because one learns the lessons of life only through the other people. He needs the helpers in many circumstances in his long life of 80-90 years. If he has a son or daughter, they may take care of him during his old age or diseases. Though they are unable or unwilling to take care of you, they will atleast admit in an old age home signing the papers.
(3) Being a brahmachari is not a licence to involve in sense gratification without restrictions. Unless a brahmachari follows a life of purity even without thinking of the women, he has violated his brahmacharya and hence he too will be considered like a family person. So, being a brahmachari is not just involving in close relations with the women, but, not even think of having relations with them. If a person says that he has controlled his mind, but, is thinking of material enjoyments within mind, he is called as a Pretender by Krishna.
(4) A man can’t live alone for long period because his psychology is affected. So, a brahmachari should have more association of like minded brahmacharis. If not, he may be induced by the senses and also he will find very difficult to mingle with the society. If he has more association with women, he will be dragged to commit offenses of violations.
(5) Brahmachari life without following devotion is the waste of life. He is useless. So, if anyone decides not to marry, he should take up devotion seriously and live only to serve Krishna.
(6) If he has no taste in a devotional way of life, he should atleast do something for the society. But, when he lives for the society, he can’t avoid the chances of fall down because he will have to deal with many kinds of people.
(6) If a brahmachari tries for marriage to his best, but, he does not get married, that means, he has been selected by the Lord to serve Him as a full time devotee. So, he must involve in devotional way of life in the rest of his life.
PROS AND CONS OF GRAHASTHA (MARRIED) LIFE
PROS OF GRAHASTHA LIFE:
(1) Though a grahastha has so many responsibilities for wife and family he will have sufficient boost from the family members. There will be atleast a single person to encourage him in his family.
(2) A grahastha will have a wife to control his sense disturbances. So, he need not get agitated and spoil the lives of many women.
(3) A grahastha gives life for a girl and a few children. He takes care of the welfare of atleast 2-3 people.
(4) A grahastha has people such as wife and children to assist in his devotional way of life.
(5) He will never have a lonely feeling and his psychology will get a boost because he is energized by atleast two or three people.
(6) A grahastha will have atleast a single person to take care of him in his old age. Or, they will atleast take him and admit in the old age homes.
(7) A grahastha is always busy in working for his family. So, he is helping to maintain the family culture in the society. If there is no family culture, more people will involve in offenses. If a grahastha is happy within his family, other girls in that locality will be safe, because he need not go out for entertainment. More singles, more risks for women. This is the general trend.
(8) A grahastha does not lead a waste life. He helps atleast 2-3 people. So, he is eligible to be taken to the heavenly planets. If they involve in devotion sincerely, they may even qualify to go back to Krishna.
(9) Grahasthas earn and save for their future life. These savings helps in the country’s economy. This is the reason India was not much affected even during the economic slow downs all over the world in the past.
(10) Krishna says in Garuda Purana that a person will go to the hells for some period if he has no one to perform rituals after death. This means that Krishna wants us to marry and have a child.
(11) A grahastha should get as many children as possible as said by the scriptures. So, he can give many devotees to the Lord from his own house.
CONS OF GRAHASTHA LIFE:
(1) If the spouse happens to be uncorrectably adamant, torturous, etc, a grahastha leads a hellish life throughout his life. However, this purifies him from his past karma. Facing tortures means clearance of karma.
(2) If the spouse is not cooperative, a grahastha can’t involve in devotional way of life.
(3) If a grahastha does not keep sufficient savings and wealth for his wife to be used after his death, he will face punishments for that in his next life.
(4) A grahastha will always be concentrating in his efforts for the development of his own family. So, he finds it difficult to help other people in the society.
(5) A grahastha will be bound with the material world more and more if he and his wife does not follow a devotional way of life.
(6) A grahastha, now a days, has no guarantee that his children will protect him in his old age. He can atleast get satisfied that there is someone to admit them in old age homes and do the rituals after his demise.
Thus, there are both pros and cons in both brahmachari life and grahastha life. Unless you are destined to have no marriage, getting married is advisable. Though you refuse to marry, if you are destined to have marriage, it will be pushed on you and you will face a compelling situation to marry.
Similarly, if you are destined to have no marriage, just lead a devotional way of brahmachari life for ever and this will act as an opportunity to clear your past karma related to marriage.
Just try for marriage. If it happens, accept it. If it does not happen, just accept it as your karma.
Hope this helps you.