Why Krishna gives failures if we are His children?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“hare krishna.. i want to know 1. is love just belong to two people or belong to our soul? 2. If the love doesn’t end with marriage, without marriage can’t we live with love? 3. why everyone need to know what is the relationship between two people? 4. if we r krishna’s kids, then why he tests us in our life all the time related to our job, future and love? pls help me to find the answers of questions?”
REPLY:
Let me first take the fourth question. If you understand that, you can understand everything.
Failures, miseries & disappointments are the Special & Causeless mercy of the Lord shown by him towards fortunate devotees.
Srila Prabhupada writes in his Purport for Srimad Bhagavatham (5-14-10):
“As stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.88.8): yasyāham anugṛhṇāmi hariṣye tad-dhanaṁ śanaiḥ. Lord Kṛṣṇa says that He takes everything away from the devotee whom He especially favors when that devotee is overly attached to material possessions. When everything is taken away, the devotee feels helpless and frustrated in society, friendship and love. He feels that his family does not care for him any longer, and he therefore completely surrenders unto the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord. This is a special favor granted by the Lord to a devotee who cannot fully surrender to the Lord due to a strong bodily conception.
As explained in Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya Lila 22.39): āmi-vijña, ei mūrkhe ‘viṣaya’ kene diba. The Lord understands the devotee who hesitates to engage in the Lord’s service, not knowing whether he should again try to revive his material life. After repeated attempts and failures, he fully surrenders to the lotus feet of the Lord. The Lord then gives him directions, and, attaining happiness, he forgets all material engagement.
Let me explain further based on the above understanding.
A Person can just be our body-mate, not a soul-mate. But, Love for Krishna is related to the soul and hence Krishna is our soul-mate.
The actors may speak dialogues in Cinemas and Novels calling their loved ones as soulmates.
But, it is not true.
If one has soulmate relations with someone, it must be the spiritual relation. The so called material love can’t be a soulmate relationship.
(What is called Pure love? Is it possible in this material world? READ HERE!)
This is the reply to your first question.
Now, next question. Why others watch the two people who are in relationship?
Anyone can love anybody; There is no doubt in it. But, in the case of human love, there are some chances for physical violations. So, there are certain regulations for love between a boy and girl. The parents and relatives watch the love of their children carefully because they fear whether their children may get cheated by the other person.
We are living as a society. We are not alone. A society has some restrictions. If there are no such restrictions, you can’t send your daughter to school / college. Because, due to the absence of restrictions, many boys will disturb her. So, restrictions are necessary in a society.
Now, you may be young and these restrictions may seem to be unnecessary for you. But, when you get a daughter or son and they attain the adolescent age, you will be worrying about their safety and hence you will realize the needs of those restrictions.
I had a school friend. He was poor like me then. His elder sister was very beautiful and when she was studying +2, I and my friend were just one year younger than her. She is a very cultured girl and she never talked to boys in school unnecessarily. I and my friend too were studying in the same school only, in the Std 11.
One day, a rich boy came to his sister in a bike and inserted a letter into her bag and drove away. He had been watching her for some days and had been impressed with her decent nature and discipline. So, he had developed single sided affection with her.
(Why Radha-Krishna Love is praised, but, a Girl & a Boy love is objected? READ HERE!)
His sister came home and showed that letter to him. He brought that to me. I read it. It had:
“My dear……..! I have not seen such a disciplined girl in my life so far and just on seeing you, I have decided that you are my wife. I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are coming in my dreams and are disturbing me. I can’t live without you. I will keep you like a queen as my family is very rich. So, please say ‘yes’ to me. I will be waiting in the Chemistry lab tomorrow at 2 P.M. With love, ………”
(I have recollected from my memory as much as possible)
My friend cried saying that his father will die if he hears that. Though his sister is very disciplined, she had to face such disturbances. So, I consoled him and told him that I will deal with this.
Next day, I met that boy. When he was expecting that girl in Chemistry lab, I went there. I told him:
“Are you expecting ……………? She will not come. Because, she does not like your action. Don’t think that all girls will feel happy if a rich boy loves them. Her family is very poor and they are very conservative family. So, please do not disturb a small girl who is a minor. Don’t show your RICH MINDSET to an innocent poor girl. If you lose your image, you can manage it using money. But, if they lose their image, they will die helplessly. Do you like to create confusion in a poor family? How could you dare to disturb a 16 years old girl? She likes to study well and become a doctor. She is not interested in these love affairs. Her aim is high. So, please stop your play with this. In your age, all girls will seem beautiful. You can’t marry all. This is called infatuation. I am telling now silently. If you do not hear me, I will have to first complain to the principal. If you do not correct yourself even after that, I will have to report to the police for disturbing a minor girl. But, I like to avoid such acts and I hope that you will not take me to that level.”
I advised him for about 10 minutes like this in a friendly approach!
(Is the love of two devotees material or spiritual? READ HERE!)
He stared at me for a moment and said:
“Sorry brother. I thought that she will accept my love. I did not know the consequences of my action. Now, I realize that I have disturbed a good girl. Sorry. I will not disturb her and treat her as my sister. Thanks for warning me”
As that boy was a good boy, he understood what I said. If I did not regulate him, what would have happened? He would have continued to disturb her. So, she too might have fallen in love in that small age of school studies.
So, regulations are needed in a society to check the violations. Only if the seniors watch the youngers, they will be protected. Only because I warned that boy, he feared that the girl has people to monitor her and he can not approach her however he wants.
So, my point is: ONLY IF YOUNG BOYS & GIRLS ARE MONITORED BY THE ELDERS, THE PERSONS OF OPPOSITE SEX WILL FEAR TO DISTURB HER. IF A GIRL IS NOT MONITORED BY THE ELDERS, SHE WILL NOT HAVE SAFETY AS EVERYONE WILL START TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER HELPLESS SITUATION.
A girl / boy may be happy if we allow him/her to act as he/ she likes. But, this total – unregulated freedom is very dangerous. We will realize the danger of this uncontrolled freedom only when we face failures in life. So, don’t get angry if others watch your friends.
You have also asked why Krishna gives failures.
Because He loves His devotees.
See, your father scolds you or even beats you if you violate from the disciplined life or do any naughty acts or if you do not score good marks.
(Why Krishna gives more problems to His devotees, but helping many non devotees? READ HERE!)
Why Krishna gives failures? Vengeance? Not at all. A father can not keep vengeance against his own child.
He punishes in a good intention of making us a good person and achiever. If you read the history of achievers, you can find that most of them had great respect with their parents.
With whom you will show your care? On an unknown person? No. You will care only those people whom you love. Similarly, Krishna cares you and hence He gives you many tests to make you matured and to equip you for facing this world carefully. That is why Krishna gives failures even to His devotees in their material efforts!
As I explained in the beginning, Krishna took all my earnings and made me empty during the period of year 1998-2000. He made all my material efforts fail though I functioned as cleverly as possible in my material business. At the same time, Krishna gave good success in my efforts to preach His Names and Glories. I too understood that Krishna wants me to dedicate for His service and hence stopped my material business and came to serve Krishna and His devotees as a full time preacher and counsellor.
So, all the tests given by the Lord are given because He cares you. So, thank Krishna for giving you such care. This is the special care by Krishna for His devotees. By giving such tests, Krishna is purifying you stage by stage.
To clean the dust on a table, we need to brush the table strongly that may look like beating the table. But, it is to wipe off the dusts.
Similarly, the failures and punishments given by Krishna through His karma network may look like a severe blow. But, they are actually the processes of brushing off our past karma. That is why Krishna gives failures and punishments to His children as a good father.
So, be under the shield of the society. If you are a honest & straightforward person, no one can find fault in you. Only the pretenders should worry if others watch them. So, if you are honest & straightforward, you need not worry. Others will fear to disturb you seeing your principled life.
Hope you are clear now about why Krishna gives failures.
(Why Krishna gives failure in all my efforts though I am a devotee? READ HERE!)