How to react when a Senior devotee Scolds you for your mistake?
A Plus two devotee boy asked like this (Name hidden):
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji my name is ……… and I’m currently studying in class 12 and following your posts for around an year. First of all I want to thank you that you have given answers to many of questions when I was in doubt and confusion.
One Prabhuji was talking with me. Then the most senior Prabhuji came and said that I have committed a big mistake. He said that I have criticised him. I tried to explain him but he didn’t understand. Then he left. After that, the Prabhuji with whom I was talking earlier used very very harsh words for me even for my family. I don’t understand what to do. I tried to explain him many times but they think very bad about me… What to do?”
REPLY:
It seems that you have spoken something about that senior devotee.
He has reacted harshly with you for that.
So, another devotee too scolds you hearing that.
This is your problem.
(Is attacking a devotee who physically attack us a Vaishnava Aparatha? READ HERE!)
Firstly, you should avoid speaking about others THOUGH THEY HAD COMMITTED ANY WRONG IN YOUR VIEW.
Because, what he had done might have been necessary in that situation. You may not be able to understand the actual reason for his action.
For example, Consider your temple manager arranges a mass public program like Rath yathra.
You may feel that spending many lakhs of rupees for One day Rath Yathra is unnecessary and hence you may pass comments to other devotees that the manager is wasting the money contributed by the devotees.
For your age and realization, you may think that spending for Rath yathra is unnecessary.
This way of passing the negative comments may pain that manager who arranges Rath Yathra.
If you frankly talk to that manager, he may explain like this:
“Hare Krishna. Ours is a small temple. We should introduce Krishna Consciousness to thousands of people who have not yet come to the temple. Many may not even know that such a temple is existing here. So, when we arrange the public programs like Rath yathra, many may get opportunity to have the darshan of the Lord Jagannatha and hence come to our temple and practice Krishna Consciousness. That is why, even Srila Prabhupada conducted many Rath yathras all over the world even during the starting days to expand the Krishna Consciousness preaching. So, we are also organizing such rath yathras”.
(How to avoid committing Vaishnava Aparatha repeatedly? READ HERE!)
Had you passed negative comments about him earlier, how can you correct them if you realize later? By that time, you would have corrupted the minds of a few devotees.
If you spoil the image of a girl out of vengeance, how will you recover her bad image if you later realizes your fault and feel guilty? Lost is lost.
So, our actions should be checked and reviewed about their consequences before doing.
The realizations may change due to age, experience and maturity.
A devotee should consider other devotees superior to them and try to understand his activities. He should believe that there should be some correct reasons for the actions of the senior devotees.
If you feel something wrong about any act of a person, you should politely tell directly and privately to him.
You should not ask in a commanding or fault finding tone.
Instead of talking to him directly, if you pass comments about him to others, it may not be a proper Vaishnava quality.
In your case, you could have avoided commenting about him if you had done so. What you said would have hurt him. So, he has scolded you.
(Is a Vaishnava’s pardon for Vaishnava Aparatha approved by Krishna? READ HERE!)
He too has not exhibited his Vaishnava quality as a senior devotee. An experienced devotee like him should have learnt forgiveness and patience that are the primary qualities of the Vaishnavas who are expected to be dominated by Satva guna.
He too should not have scolded and hurt you. Instead, he should have explained what the fact is, by calling you privately.
Thus, yours is the first mistake; His wrong way of responding is also a mistake.
As the younger and inexperienced student devotee, you please take the first step of correction. Meet him privately and beg for his pardon. Submit your apologies telling that you should not have spoken like that.
(How should a Vaishnava live? Lord Caitanya’s advice! READ HERE!)
When that Senior devotee Scolds you again, say Hare Krishna and come back. Say “Sorry Prabhu if you have been hurt. I will explain my side later”
Again go after a week or fortnight and beg for his pardon again. Time would have healed his heart. So, he will forgive you.
After that, stop talking about other devotees though they are children.
Always consider yourself as a straw on the roadside and you are not qualified to comment about others.
Follow this attitude in letter and spirit.
Finished. You will be happy thereafter and you will become free from past mistakes/ offenses.
Hope you are clear now about how to react when a Senior devotee Scolds you for your mistake.
(Repenting For Vaishnava Aparatha (Offense) Properly! A Case Study! READ HERE!)