Does Scolding the ailing Patients add karma though scolded helplessly?
A Girl follower (Name hidden) asked like this:
Hare Krishna Prabhuji. My mother is now completely deaf in 2 ears after stroke 2.5 yrs ago. As she doesn’t hear, she thinks we ignore her. She misunderstands us. Sometimes I do bad behave, use bad word with her. I don’t want to do that, but she creates such situation, I can’t tolerate. She speaks very loudly as she can’t hear and don’t tolerate loud voice… situation is very worse. I can’t explain properly. What can I do, Prabhu? It obviously add bad karma to me.
REPLY:
It may not be true that Scolding the ailing Patients add karma and it may not add sins or serious karma, but just the small token karma clearable with chanting one or few times.
This type of small sin or karma may not harm you more and may not destabilize your life.
Moreover, this type of small karma can be cleared even within this birth just by chanting Hare Krishna once or a few times.
(What is the Right way of facing the Punishments by Krishna thru Karma? READ HERE!)
Why do I give this much of concession in the severity of the reactions for this karma?
Because, you are doing your assigned duty of protecting your ailing mother.
When we perform our karthavya karma, ie, assigned duties, though we commit some small mistakes, they are forgiven.
But, if we escape from our duties of protecting the parents, that escape itself adds to the severe karma.
Krishna has said in Bhagavad Gita (18-47) that It is better to engage in one’s own occupation, even though one may perform it imperfectly, than to accept another’s occupation and perform it perfectly. Duties prescribed according to one’s nature are never affected by sinful reactions.
This verse is very clear.
It perfectly matches you and even me and many such duty bound persons.
I was keeping my mother till her age 90. Sometimes, she may behave like a child as she might have lost her stability. Sometimes, I too have scolded her out of inability to manage her.
(Can black tongue persons transfer their karma to others through Curse? READ HERE!)
However, since I was doing my assigned duty, as said by Krishna above, my such unavoidable scolding will not be sinful, but forgivable with some small token reactions.
And, such small mistakes while doing our assigned duty will not stop our going back to the Godhead. Just chant one or two rounds. It will go away.
These things are natural while keeping an ailing elderly person.
You too are serving your mother who was affected by stroke that caused loss of hearing. If there is no hearing, such misunderstandings may come.
In her age 88, my mother had vision problem of cataract. She did not tell me as I may worry. But, one day, when she went to the toilet and returned, she could not see the material on the way. So, she slightly hit that object and suddenly sat down.
I woke up at 2AM and found that mother was not there on her bed. I went to the back side of house. There, I saw my mother sitting on the floor unable to get up.
I just took her with my two hands and brought her to her cot.
(Why our problems continue even after initiation if guru accepts our karma? READ HERE!)
I asked her how long she was sitting there. She said about half an hour.
I could not control my tears seeing her helpless condition. That day, I scolded her why she did not wake me up when she went back side.
She said that she did not want to disturb my sleep.
I shouted again saying if she does not call me when she goes back side in future, I will admit her in Old age home.
Sometimes, when she was speaking in a childish way, I have said “Oh ma, when will you die and make me free? I am losing my peace because of you”
It is not my real wish to see her die. It is just an expression of my uncomfortable situation.
Then, her both the eyes were operated for cataract and vision was corrected in her age 88.
Thus, such scolding situations may arise sometimes when we are keeping old or ailing people.
Of course, I have to admit here that I should have avoided such a way of scolding my mother whatever the situation may be. Since I was in a helpless situation without the support of anyone, I scolded her sometimes in spite of my being a guy of patience. However, it was not my real wish. I didn’t wish or plan to scold her. These are unplanned and innocent mistakes. So, forgivable just with a round of chanting.
Don’t take it granted and don’t scold your parents or grandparents in a hope that you can clear that karma just by a round of chanting. If you had innocently scolded her, don’t worry. Chant and get forgiven.
You need not fear for karmic reactions out of such helpless mistakes thinking whether scolding the ailing Patients add karma.
Because you are a responsible person who is taking care of your mother with stroke. You didn’t kill anyone; Or, you didn’t spoil anyone’s life; You just scolded her out of helplessness. So, don’t worry. You are not a sinner. SIN is a big term. These mistakes doesn’t come under the bracket SIN.
Krishna and even His Karma network are not cruel. They see your heart, not such small emotional mistakes.
Be relieved. I too have done so. Almost all those who are keeping the elders would have done so.
Relieved now?
(Do the activities of mentally ill persons give karma to them & others? READ HERE!)