Questions the girl devotees should ask a Groom before deciding!
A girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna prabhuji , today i read ur post its really useful, i have one doubt prabhuji, my parents are seeing matches for me, how can i myself confirm that overall he is a good, if possible to ask questions what questions should i ask, please help me in this prabhuji, please don’t mention my name prabhuji , thankyou prabhuji hare Krishna..”
REPLY:
Marriage is only once in life (as per Indian practices).
And, now a days, the boys and girls are becoming very clever. So, we should not take the decisions on marriage without discussing with the concerned person(s).
(What if parents reject devotee grooms but look for non devotees? READ HERE!)
A boy can be evaluated on these following aspects in the form of questions:
(1) What is your job? (If you prefer only job goers, not busines people, confirm it)
(2) What is your salary/ earning?
(3) Is your job permanent/ transferable/ touring/ office job, etc? At what time you may have to return home daily?
(4) Do you expect your wife to go for job or are looking for house wife?
(5) Do you believe in God? Are you interested in the serious practice of devotion or just praying for benefits, like that?
(6) If I like to involve in devotion seriously, will you allow me? Or, can you too involve with me?
(7) Why do you like to marry me?
(8) Do you expect a girl of reserved type or jovial type?
(9) Are you vegetarian? I prefer vegetarian only. Will you be able to accept it?
(10) Will you expect separate family or joint family? Why?
(11) Tell about your family and your involvement in the family affairs.
(12) Will you recognize the genuine expectations of a wife for the betterment of the family?
(13) I will treat your family as mine. Will you too treat my family as yours? (Optional question).
(NO INTEREST IN MARRIAGE FOR DEVOTEES? POINTS TO REVIEW! READ HERE!)
(14) Do you have the habit of smoking/ drinking/ pan/ etc? rarely or regularly? (If you do not like those habits, do not accept him though he says that he uses them rarely)
(15) I want a person who values the dignity of women and respects women as souls, not as the object of bhoga. Can you satisfy this aspect?
The above are the basic questions.
In addition to that, if you talk to him, you can observe his approach and nature and then decide. If your nature and his nature are similar, you can give consent. Or, in case he has some different preferences, if you can adjust or change yourself, you can give consent. If he seems to be totally contrary to your preferences, you can say NO for marriage with him.
If you are unable to find out his preferences, his horoscope will tell everything. So, perform marriage preferebly after seeing his horoscope and matching with yours.
In case you prefer only a serious devotee, it is better to select one from the temple through the marriage matching services available in every temple. You have to contact the temple president/ manager for this.
(Horoscope (Kundli) Matching for marriage: Do Acharyas recommend it? READ HERE!)
In case, you are not you do not need a serious devotee, but just a god fearing person, you have so many choices.
All depends on your spiritual standing, nature and expectations. There can not be a general rule for asking questions because every person has different preferences in life.
Keep one thing in mind. It is better for clearing all your doubts and questions before marrying a person instead of knowing after marriage. You should not ask questions doubtfully, but, in a friendly and cordial manner. Because no one would like to be evaluated.
Above all, our karma plays its role. Our marriage life depends on our actions in our past births. So, just evaluate as much as possible and if you feel that you can manage with this person, marry him putting the faith in the grace of Lord. In case you face any challenges in life due to karma, face it patiently and also ensure that no problems arises because of you. Never use harsh words in family though the situation is against you. Silence can avoid many issues in family.
So, see horoscope, clear some basic doubts as mentioned above and then marry him if you feel comfortable. If not, do not marry that boy and see another.
Best of luck.
(BEING AFRAID OF MARRIAGE: CAUSES & THINGS TO DO! READ HERE!)