IS LOVING A BRAHMACHARI DEVOTEE or A GURU WRONG?
Two Questions from two Girl devotees:
I have question Prabhuji..My humble request to you to reply..Question is : Is loving a Senior Brahmachari preacher is an offence? I mean I love a person & he is from our vaishnav community only, infact he is a senior Brahmachari preacher..But I dont know how I fall for him..Now I’m suffering day & night..Burning inside every sec..He is a very well known personality, I dont want to bring any stain in his fame..Just want a little bit love in exchange of love, nothing else..Now the first problem is I can’t express my feelings to him & second problem is I don’t know what to do..Plz guide me Prabhu..I’m in a tremendous problem.
(2) Another girl asked this ‘dangerous’ question:
“Is it also wrong if we fell in love with our spiritual master, who is teaching/preaching u Krishna Bhakti. Pl dont mention my name while answering this question.”
(1) LOVING A BRAHMACHARI DEVOTEE:
This is happening everywhere though not advisable. The term LOVE need not be used in devotional service. A girl finds a boy suitable to marry. This is the decent level.
When we start to call it as LOVE, LONGING, FEELINGS, etc, there will be no difference between the devotee community and outside world.
Any girl devotee can marry any boy devotee if she find him suitable to marry and continue devotional practices after marriage.
However, the approach should be decent and through the proper channel, not inducing one. That’s all.
Most of the temple resident brahmacharis prefer to stay in the temples because they wanted to devote all their time for Krishna. They do not contain themselves in the clutches of responsibilities of the grahastha life.
If the devotee you mentioned is a resident brahmachari, I request you to leave him peaceful without disturbing. Let him continue his service to Lord full time.
Since his mindset will be against the grahastha responsibilities, a girl devotee should not create any feelings in his mind.
So, my advice is, one should never disturb any devotee with LOVEFUL thoughts as they might have dedicated their life for Krishna Consciousness.
If such extra thoughts arise in the mind, that person should marry a devotee boy immediately with the advice of her nearest temple president or senior women devotees.
If a devotee likes to get married and needs a devotee wife/ husband, he/ she will give details and expectations to the local temple president or manager. He will maintain a data bank of devotees. He will suggest some boys to you to marry. If it is agreeable to you, you can marry that devotee. So, a devotee should be approached for marriage ONLY THROUGH the temple president or the devotees who have been assigned with such responsibilities in every temple.
In case you hesitate to deal with the temple president or manager, you may request the senior women devotees to see a groom for you. They will definitely help you.
In some cases, the parents may also deal with this. But, the devotees should not take any decision on their own without consulting their temple president or parents.
Go to temples and develop yourself in the devotional practices. Forget these extra thoughts. Come to the spiritual platform.
Be in touch with your senior women devotees in your nearby temple. Association with the senior women devotees, reading the literatures on Krishna and Chanting the Holy Name of Krishna will make you alright.
If you do so, Krishna will show you a suitable groom as chosen by Him.
My request to all girl devotees is that they may consider if the male devotees proposes them. This shows that they are interested in marriage life. If a girl proposes first to them, they may get disturbed if they had been in a decision to dedicate for Krishna’s service.
(2) LOVING A GURU:
Sorry. I will not support even such thoughts. This is a dangerous thought. One should go to temple to worship Krishna, learn about Krishna and associate with the devotees. Not to love or not to involve in any other material activities;
In particular, we must behave in a temple in such a way that we do not attract anyone materially. Decent dressing and decent approach with others including opposite sex.
You have not mentioned whether Diksha guru (or) Siksha Guru. In the case of Diksha Guru, he is the representative of Krishna who is there TO RELIEVE YOU FROM MATERIAL BONDAGE.
A guru may seem like an ordinary man. So, we should not consider him as an ordinary person.
So, Our scriptures advise us to honour a bonafide guru as Krishna Himself. A Diksha guru must be honoured like Krishna. He is there to take us to Krishna; A guru should not be seen with the material thoughts. And, they are in the renounced order of life.
So, thinking of them with the material love is the greatest offence. So, such thoughts must be stopped. Even though you had asked this question just for knowledge, such doubts should never arise in the minds of devotees.
A girl devotee may choose a brahmachari boy by contacting through the senior women devotees or temple manager/ president after knowing whether he has idea to marry. Direct discussions and interactions may be avoided not to pollute the devotional atmosphere.
As far as loving a guru is concerned, she will be committing great offence by doing, or, even thinking so.
Hope this clears the doubts.