Can one have Extramarital Relationship since the kings had it?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna. I am very much confused and need a help.
I am married and I am in love and relationship with another girl at the same time. I know that shastras do not permit the same. But I still want to continue my relationship with this girl outside my marriage.
Is there some way that I can continue this relationship in a shastric way? So that I am not bound by negative karma. We learn from history that even our Hindu kings had more than one wife. Even though their name is counted in pious Hindu kings they had more than one wife.
Please advise how can I.”
REPLY:
Absolutely wrong.
You are trying to justify your desire by taking the kings as example.
Usually the devotees would ask me to suggest ways to quit such violations, but you have asked me to suggest tips to continue to violate without adding karma.
(Is following devotion & also having sexual addictions wrong? READ HERE!)
This much of attachment to sense gratification for you. This is not good for your good future.
You have justified by giving the example of kings.
Are you a king?
See, dharma is different for common man and Kshatriyas, ie, kings, military/ Navy/ Airforce/ security persons, police, etc.
You know well that the military and police personnel do not have holidays because their job is to protect the people.
They have to deal with the criminals, violators, etc.
So, the governments all over the world give so much of facilities to the security persons.
They even supply goods and products to their employees with reduced amount without tax.
(Can a devotee having past illicit violations get the mercy of Krishna? READ HERE?)
Even liquor is made available for security persons.
They are given prayer sessions, get together opportunities, etc., frequently.
They are paid very well and also with full pension and take aways.
Why these extra facilities for them that are not available for other employees?
Because they have full time responsibilities and duties of protecting the country and hence they need more support from the employer.
Just imagin how a soldier protecting the border of India can purchase the things? They have to protect the border all the time.
Others do 10-5 jobs and hence they may have more time to purchase these things.
Why these details?
Just to show that same rules can’t be imposed in all cases.
(How to repent for our past illicit activities and sins? READ HERE!)
You have compared your extra marital affair with the polygamy and extra marital affairs of the kings.
Kings have separate sets of rules and dharma called Kshatriya dharma.
It permits the kings to marry more than one woman. It also permits to allow the women to stay in the palace and the kings are allowed to bring the queen and women from the countries conquered by them.
Even among Pandavas, Arjuna and Bhima married other women even after marrying Draupati.
Krishna chose the same Arjuna to speak Bhagavad Gita.
The kings have to keep their bodies and minds healthy for protecting their countries. So, they are given some relaxations from the rules meant for comman people.
Since they need more Rajo guna to fight for their countries, they take meat also though common men are expected to avoid meat.
So, don’t compare yourself with the kings.
Stop the extramarital relationship with that girl. Don’t look for support from the scriptures to justify your violations.
By doing injustice to your wife, you can’t expect mercy from Krishna.
If the wives too start to have extramarital relations, will the husbands allow them?
Think as a common man. You are not a king.
(The illicit activities that should be avoided by the devotees! READ HERE!)
Even among Kshatriyas, only the kings, princes and soldiers were allowed to marry more than one girl.
Because they had the wealth and power to have more than one wives. And, many soldiers died in war and hence the numbers of men were less than the women. So, those soldiers were allowed to marry more than one girl.
Thus there were reasons for the Kshatriyas to marry more than one girl.
In your case, you are maintaining extramarital relationship with another girl.
This spoils her life also. Having relations with a girl without committing for protecting her whole life in the form of marriage is a clear indiscipline.
(If One involves in illicit relations as per karma, why it is sinful? READ HERE!)
Stop that relationship from today itself and follow devotional practices sincerely without missing to follow the four regulative principles – No meat eating, No gambling, No Intoxication and No Illicit Relations.
Following devotion without following the four regulative principles is an aparath because you commit violations in the strength of chanting the holy names of Krishna.
Innocent mistakes are uaually forgiven.
You are making planned violations. So, they are subject to punishments thru karma.
So, don’t ask me to suggest the ways to follow extramarital relations without adding karma.
Every violation adds to karma.
We should not do anything that is not fit to be offered to Krishna. How can you dedicate this extramarital relation to Krishna?
So, in all considerations, stop these violations and be relieved and seek pardon from that girl itself and also from Krishna.
Best of luck.
(10 NICE TIPS TO AVOID ILLICIT AFFAIRS AS A REGULATIVE PRINCIPLE FOR KRISHNA DEVOTEES! READ HERE!)