Will a wife gets karma by cooking meat for her husband?
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“HK prabhu , I am practising devotional service from 4 yrs , i am married n my husband is not yet in KC . he doesnt follow any 4 regulative principles , but i am following all 4 principles. at home i cook bhoga without onion garlic n i offer it to lord . but my husband eats onion garlic n even he likes to eat non veg foods. but not much sometimes in a party or relatives house. but i dont want him to eat non veg , but i feel i shouldnt force him to stop eating non veg because he should feel himself that its very sinful to kill a animal n then he should stop eating nonveg by himself (not by force) , n all my relatives force him to eat n they scold me that i should not force him to stop eating nonveg. n they say its very healthy food etc etc …… but i dont know what to do should i allow him to eat or i should force him to avoid non veg. N plz tell me abt how karma effects me if my husband is eating non veg . thanks a lot for ur all answers its very helpful n its very practical . thanks a lot prabhu . Hari Bol”
REPLY:
It is very heartening to note that you are fighting for this good cause in your family. This is not a problem in your family alone. It is happening in most of the families of devotees.
Actually this is a consoling response for you:
(1) If the husband is doing pious deeds, the good effects are automatically shared to his wife also.
(2) If the husband is doing bad deeds, but, the wife is doing pious deeds, the wife will not be affected by husband’s bad deeds.
(The duties as a husband, son, daughter, father for the devotees! READ HERE!)
In the case of wife it is reverse:
(3) If the wife does good deeds, husband also gets benefitted.
(4) Whereas, if the wife does bad deeds on her own without being requested by husband, it affects husband also.
This is the special protection given to wives. Yes… They will not be contaminated though the husband is doing sinful acts.
That is why, the scriptures did not fix any tough spritual saadhanas for wives and they expect that they should help in the spritual activities of their husbands. If a wife involves in assisting her husband in his devotional practices, she automatically receives all the blessings that her husband receives.
So, don’t worry, you are protected from your husband’s deeds. So, involve in your saadhanas peacefully.
As far as stopping of non veg for your husband is concerned, it should happen naturally. As you are taking vegetarian and offered prasadam only, you are fully protected. Though your husband eats non-veg, you will not incur any karma out of his eating non-veg.
In simple terms, I can say: The benefits of good deeds of husband is shared to wife; But, the punishments for his bad deeds are not shared by wife.
Who said the Scriptures are against women? They in fact protect women from the bad deeds of their husbands.
There is another point that I have already revealed in one of my earlier counsellings:
THOUGH A HUSBAND ASKS THE WIFE TO COOK NON-VEG AND GIVE HIM, THE WIFE HAS TO DO THAT. BY DOING SO, SHE DOES NOT INCUR KARMA, WHEREAS, THE RECEIVER, ie, HUSBAND RECEIVES THAT BAD KARMA.
(Karma involved in serving family & using the service of others! READ HERE!)
Now, tell me, are the scriptures against women?
Why wives are not affected by husband’s bad karma if she gives him non-veg if he demands from her?
Because, she is doing her STRI DHARMA, ie, SWADHARMA, as a wife, as a wife is expected to fulfill the needs of her husband.
Eventhough a husband demands sex from wife on a prohibitted day, and the wife gives that to him without any other options to stop, she will not incur karma by doing what her husband says.
All the karma goes to the husband alone. Not to wife.
So, remember, only we, the males are unsafe in grahastha life; The women have been put safely in grahastha life.
So, just continue the services to the Lord as a single person in your family. Do not make this a big issue in your family and create confusions and splits in the family.
Then, follow these steps:
(1) Prepare the vegetarian food in different varieties as prepared in ISKCON temples. They are experts in cooking variety of foods using common vegetables and spices. They also offer that tasty food to Lord and make it a prasadam. So, that food becomes still pure and karma free.. If anyone takes that variety of prasadams daily, they will forget the taste of non vegetarian foods.
(2) So, first, prepare the vegetarian food NOT AS BORESOME, but, as tasty and variety, offer them to the lord and serve your husband. He will first realise the taste of this prasadam and day by day, he will start to like taking prasadam. So, in due course of time, he wil start to review your requests to him to quit non veg. Keep on GENTLY (Not forcibly) reminding him to compare the taste of this delicious karma – free prasadam and his non veg food that is packed with karma.
(3) If you continue your efforts day after day and also serving variety of prasadams, he will one day quit his non veg food.
(4) Also, pray to krishna everyday to make yr husband as vegetarian through His prasadam. AS Prasadam is Krishna Himself, it will change your husband one day.
(5) Also remember, many of the leaders and devotees in ISKCON were non vegetarians only in the beginning. Only Krishna Consciousness saadhanas and prasadam made them quit meat eating.
So, Prasadam is powerful. Prasadam and your efforts and prayers will change your husband. Be hopeful. Continue your efforts.
Hope you are clear.
(The duties as a husband, son, daughter, father for the devotees! READ HERE!)