How should a devotee face the ailments and deaths of Parents & relatives?

How should a devotee face the ailments and deaths of Parents & relatives?

A devotee doctor asked like this:

“respected anna ;    i m going through a very bad phase .my mom is ill from last 3 months . she has undergone 2 surgeries . but still not properly recovered , the doctor is saying wait and watch for 6 weeks more other wise they will plan for another surgery . i myself is a doctor doing internship .  i took my mom to all the best specialists of the city but every one had their own opinion .i feel like these doctors are just doing experiments on my mom . i m feeling helpless and self pitty . i also consulted an astrologer she said that ur mom is going through a very bad period and anything bad can happen to her . d words of that astrologers are continuosly running in mine mind . i m very upset and don’t know what to do . i know her suffering is bcz of her past karma but i can’t see mine mom in pain . plz tell me some remedy to rectify her sufferings .

i also want to mention that i belive in lord krishna and bhagwat geeta but from vry childhood i m follower of lord shiva and vaishnodevi mata

i also request u that kindly don’t mention my name. i shall be very thankfull to u .i feel like through this page mine problem will be directly transfered to GOD .”


The problem for doctor herself.  Usually, when we love our kiths and kins, we can not digest whatever doctors says against our wish. Though we know that the ailments and deaths are inevitable, we wish that it should not come to us.  But, as a young doctor, you should develop detachment.  I usually compare the doctors with sanyasis in one aspect.  As the doctors are seing so many bodies and seeing many deaths in their career, they usually develop a kind of detachment in material life.  They will not be affected when they see deaths.  True sanyasis will also not be affected when they see deaths because they know the uncertainties of life.

(Why people fear for death? Why should NOT we cry after the death of relatives. READ HERE!)

Yes…I too had a similar experience but not in medical field. Many years ago, my office  Computer was hanging frequently.  A young service engineer had given his business card to me and requested to call him if I need system service.  So, I called him.  He opened and was seeing part by part for 3+ hours.  He unplugged the hard disk, mother board, RAMs, power cord, etc one by one and replugged.  I could not understand what is the connection between hanging and the Power cord. I asked him why this much of delay for finding out the problem.  Because, any problem can be found within minutes or even by guessing.

He replied with smile:  “Sir, you are the fourth customer for me.  So, I am learning from your system.”

Then, I sent him out and called my existing technician.  He cleared the problem within minutes by adding some extra RAM and reloading the O.S.

Thus, some persons are using us to learn their business related knowledge.  From that incidence, I never called new technicians or new professionals for anything.

Recently, I saw a news in paper:  A new doctor had removed 20 teeth at the same time for an old lady who complained teeth ache.  Usually, the teeth must be removed one by one.   So, that old lady died.  See, the experiment of that doctor had cost that old lady.

(I am alone in my family after the death of family members. Why Krishna made me like this? READ HERE! )

Now, your problem.  Be prepared for anything at any time.  You know that though a doctor tries his best, he can extend the breathing of a patient who is unable to breath and facing death, for some days, but, he can not make that patient get up and lead a normal life.  Just the breath will be going on.  But, practically, that patient is dead.  He can not be recovered, but, just air is going in and coming out.

So, even an expert doctor can  not make a dying person alive and to work like before.  Most of the doctors used to say:  “We have done everything.  Hereafter pray to your favourite gods.  He can be saved only by god”

So, God is the final authority who decides our fate.  But, we can take the best treatments as a duty out of love.  Ailments and deaths are the part of our life. So, do your duty for your mother by taking best treatments for her.  This will avoid guilty feeling later.  Take her to the best hospital having all the advanced facilities and experienced doctors  in or near your city.  Let the doctors treat her.  This is your duty.  Do that.

In addition to that, pray to Lord to help you in this situation.  Usually, if the karma is not very severe, a person is given three chances to die. This means that 2 chances to escape from serious diseases.  That is why, even the patients can be saved from the first two heart attacks, but, mostly the third attack takes their life (there are some exemptions also who dies in a single attack or survive in 3rd attack).  A patient can escape from the first date and second dates.  But, he can not escape from the third deadline.  Whatever we do, it goes in vein.  That is why, some persons escape from even serious accidents.

(KARMA & SUICIDE: If karma decides suicide, why the person is punished with a ghost body? READ HERE!)

So, if this is your mother’s first or second chance, she can be saved with prayers.  So, pray to Lord to save her.  This is what you can do for your mother,  What else can you do?

Are you going to live here for ever?  Everyone of us will leave this world one day.  Everyone of us will face diseases in life. No one is exempted from pains.  Even the world’s richest persons have to face body pains.

So, you can do these three things for your mother now:

(1) Treat her as well as possible.

(2). Pray for her sincerely and chant for her.

(3) Let her face her pains as per her karma.  Ailments and deaths are inevitable for all the people. But, you can help her to forget her pains.  Be with her, speak kindly, encourage her, ask her to chant Hare Krishna from bed, and give her books on Krishna while on bed.  This will help your mother forget her pains and also get the mercy of Lord.  This will give her good birth again.

So, understand the nature of this material world.  Let us pray for the safe recovery of your mother.  Let her be with you.  If she can be given more chances, she will live with you for more time.

Entrust your mother in the hands of Krishna and pray to Him to take care of her.  Be balanced in both positives and negatives in the life and learn to face the ailments and deaths even for ourselves at any time.

All the best for you and your mother.


Author: RAJAN

RAJAN from Tamil Nadu, India, a Life Patron and an Initiated Devotee being in ISKCON for nearly three decades, serves anonymously to avoid Prominence and crowd as an insignificant, Humble and Neutral Servant for all the devotees of Krishna! He promotes Social media forums and this blog-website as e-satsangha (e-forums) blessed with Lakhs of followers, to give Spiritual Solutions for all the Material Problems of the devotees since 2011! He writes friendly and practical tips to practice devotion (i) without hurting the followers of other paths, (ii) without affecting the personal and career life, and (iii) without the blind, superstitious and ritualistic approach! He dedicates all the glories and credits to his Guru and Krishna.

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