What if Krishna does not exist & our devotional practices go waste?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji. Prabhuji sometimes I get into logics and maths and try to apply in Bhakti though I know it is beyond material capacity to know Krishna still I do this. Like what if scriptures are man made and what if everything is our imagination which makes me feel shameful and sinful as well. Sometimes we hear no one is ours except Krishna I accept and believe. Then my mind says what if Krishna does not exist and what is the proof that Krishna has been with us forever and like this my mind applies useless maths and then I get anxiety that what bad deeds am doing what apradhs am doing that am thinking all this.
Sometimes, I think about past and keeps on comparing. Few years back I wanted to be materially strong and coz of this I get into clutches of fake Guru who used to say he is incarnation of Shiva and …………………..(hidden). Due to all this I become disturbed and get panic attacks that am forgetting Krishna.
Even I ate non veg, drink alcohol and other things I have done when I was into that group. I have left all that nonsense.
I am unable to associate with devotees also I feel so guilty to go mandir. I keep on remembering past which haunts me even more. I hear katha. Then, I keep on thinking useless things which makes me feel I am crazy. Is this due to lack of hearing and reading?
How can one rectify this habit? I go crazy. Though I know scriptures are not man made still since in office I heard somewhere and mistakenly I think like that and coz of this many stupid things comes into my mind which makes me go crazy. I dont wanna lose Krishna Consciousness. I wanna be serious. I wanna get Prem at lotus feet of Krishna Radharani. Pls guide me.
That person is dead long before. There is no deeksha at all. Still, I am afraid that what if I didnt remember. Psychological Issues might be I face this. Can I take Vaishnav deeksha? Yes, my bhakti destroyed alot but I want to take Bhakti seriously now. Can I also be vaishnav and surrender my life to Chaitanya Mahaprabhu?”
REPLY:
The cause for all your confusions is Lack of faith. If you show full faith for Krishna, He Himself will expose himself to you in a subtle way.
In all sathsanghas, such CRAZY devotees WITH INSUFFICIENT FAITH like you are more.
In fact, everyone of us have been crazy and with lack of faith in the past during the initial days.
Crazy for recognition. Crazy for fame.
For some devotees, there will be no sufficient understanding or recognition among their family members because these devotees may be interested in devotional life, but the family members may be interested in money making and material fame only.
So, such devotees would have been branded as impractical persons who are not interested in successful material life, by their family members.
(What if my family accuses my following Krishna Consciousness? PART-1! READ HERE!)
But, the same devotees will be very much respected and praised in the sathsanghas like ISKCON, because these sathsanghas are very appealing to those who are fed up with material life and family life.
In fact, like the doctors expect the patients, the spiritual organizations too expect patients who are caught by the disease of material attachments in spite of their facing material failures and struggles.
In my long service as an astrologer who have analysed thousands of horoscopes from among the ISKCON devotees, I have noted one interesting thing. A large percentage of the DEDICATED devotees in ISKCON have Naga dosha in their horoscope, particularly in their second and eighth houses more.
Naga dosha in makes a person’s material life disturbed. So, they are usually fed up with the materialistic life.
Naga dosha candidates will be oscillating between the senses and devotion tirelessly during their young age, but will turn to dedicated devotional life after the middle age..
Some of them involve in violations also helplessly in their young age.
(Rahu-Ketu Dosha (Naga Dosha) – Causes for sufferings and Getting Relief! READ HERE!)
These devotees have some doubts also on many matters including devotion.
They may try to show as if they are also well equipped in spirituality because they are thirst of recognition.
Since they usually do not get sufficient recognition among their relatives, they take part in spiritual organizations eagerly because these organizations are the only forums that welcome those devotees with thumping applause.
These devotees will try their best initially to shine in their material life. But, those who have Naga dosha in second & eighth houses get more problems in their families.
So, when they get very good recognition in these sathsanghas, they start to hate their families also.
They consider these sathsanghas better than their families that always criticize them.
That is why, the spiritual organizations should be very responsible to cultivate these fed up devotees without making them fed up here also seeing the politics in the temples also.
When a patient goes to a doctor or Counsellor to get relieved from smoking, if he finds the doctor or counsellor himself is smoking, how will he feel?
He will return fed up with the systems existing in this material world and he may start to smoke more than before.
(Why some devotees fear to attend ISKCON and follow strict rules? READ HERE!)
Similarly, when a devotee who is fed up with the politics in his family, comes to a sathsangha, the management should embrace them and give them a ‘politics-free’ atmosphere.
I myself have seen such fed up devotees in my decades of experience in the spiritual life.
Since most of the Naga dosha devotees in the second & eighth houses have the character of arguing and speaking sharply, they even question the authorities sometimes.
This is the general trend and general cause.
In your case, you have been very casual in approaching the devotion.
You have doubts in the very basic thing a devotee should have, that is, in the very existence of Krishna Himself and hence you are unable to develop close attachment with the devotional service to Krishna.
Like many others, you are also in the patient stage who is having so much of material attachments.
Unless you develop a strong faith in the existence of Krishna, you can’t fully dedicate yourself in devotion.
(I stopped trusting Krishna because of problems. How to regain my faith in Krishna? READ HERE!)
If an acharya is pure, even the most sinful devotees may fear for violating his instructions.
If the teacher himself is smoking and chatting with the girl students, how will he derive respect from the students?
So, Purity is very important in devotion.
That is why, I have been writing that unless we follow the four regulative principles, we should not call ourselves as devotees.
We should accept & respect Krishna and His potency. We should have the fire of getting the mercy of Krishna.
Only then, we can take sincere efforts to purify ourselves.
You have doubted what if the concept of Krishna and the literatures about Him happen to be just false stories.
(Read THIS POST to know whether Krishna truly exists or not.)
Krishna truly exists. Believe it. As an astrologer, I have verified it thru hundreds of horoscopes.
I have been advising the devotee customers of astrology on how much diversions they may have in Krishna bhakti or whether they can shine in Krishna Bhakti, or which deity is most favourable to them, etc.
Even in my case, I have FIFTH LORD Mercury in its own FIFTH house itself with 90% of goodness power.
So, I have been a sincere devotee of Vishnu in my previous birth that has stopped without completion.
That is why, I have taken birth with good Mercury that has naturally given attachment to Krishna right from my young age.
To uplift me in His devotional service, ie, preaching, Krishna has made my personal life disturbed that forced me to come to the service to Krishna with more dedication.
Only because I had full faith in Krishna, He gave me many serious tests and finally gave good success in preaching about Himself.
So, Krishna is true. I have written many proofs in many of my posts. I have never doubted what if Krishna does not exist.
But, unless you sacrifice your material attachments, you can’t get BIG BOONS from Krishna.
(Why should we worship Krishna as He does not help and prove Himself? READ HERE!)
Big boon means getting Krishna himself (or) Getting the opportunity to guide others in Krishna Bhakti.
If you just try to detach from the excessive material desires beyond the basic needs, Krishna will help you to do that successfully.
Instead of putting full faith on Krishna, you have been doubting Him and the literatures related to Him.
So, first believe that Krishna is true. Don’t doubt what if Krishna does not exist & our devotional practices go waste.
If you have faith in Krishna’s existence and protection, He will clear all the bad habits and troubles stage by stage and make you pure.
You have also written that your past activities make you guilty.
This is not necessary. Even Valmiki was once a thief/ robber.
He got reformed and got the opportunity to write the Story of the Lord Rama Himself.
So, if you resolve not to involve in violations of regulative principles and follow that resolution, you will get the mercy of Krishna and get purified.
No need for doubt like the wastage of devotional practices if Krishna does not exist.
So, don’t develop guilt about the past mistakes. Be correct in future Be honest to yourself. A human should not live like animals.
So, let us be humans first whose purpose of human birth is to get Krishna.
So, start to follow devotion to Krishna from now itself with full faith.
If you believe Krishna, you can get Him if He exists.
If you doubt Him and think what if Krishna does not exist, your chance of getting Krishna is zero if He exists.
So, believing Him is better than doubting Him like what if Krishna does not exist & our devotional practices go waste.
Best of luck.
(How to love Krishna more than family and friends? READ HERE!)