What to do if your love for Krishna is less than family & friends?
A devotee who requested anonymity asked like this:
“Hare krishna prabhu ji !!! I m fond of reading shrimad bhagvatam and shrimad bhagvad geeta . I love chanting and listening about Krishna. But somewhere I feel that I don’t love krishna as other devotees do. When it comes to my priorities, they are always my family, my friends, my studies etc . It has been said that listening krishna katha, reading books , chanting and association of devotees will be of great help. But I am already doing this, still m not able to develop enough love for him, for me it’s not working out. I relish his name till m reading or listening about him, after that I forget everything and starts taking pleasure in material things. I heard in a sat-sang that loving krishna is in the behaviour of pure devotees. One should not pretend to love him. Love is a strong feeling . It either exists or does not exist. There is no such thing like ‘perhaps’ in love. Then I realized that, it wasn’t love, it’s something masquerading as love. Now I don’t want to act like a devotee. I am just worn out. Loving Krishna is not in my behaviour. But I can’t live without devotion. I can’t even stay away from him. What should I do …. I know my question is very stupid. But there is no one to whom I could ask. I wanna ask WILL LOVING KRISHNA EVER BECOME MY NATURE ? HOW I CAN BECOME PERSISTENT IN MY DEVOTION? HOW WILL I DEVELOP TRUE LOVE FOR HIM? DOES THAT MEAN I AM LESS BLESSED ? It is my heartiest request that please do not mention my name. Thank you.”
REPLY:
Who said your question is stupid? You have submitted frankly and clearly that many others hesitate to ask;
You are not an offender. You are a good devotee who is eligible to become a PURE DEVOTEE if you understand that Krishna is your eternal relative.
Your problem is simple: You try to love Krishna; Mean time, your mind is dominated by materialistic people also. That is, you love all your family most and also love Krishna.
(How to love Krishna to get His mercy Successfully? READ HERE!)
There is a difficulty in loving both material relations as well as Krishna simultaneously IF YOU CONSIDER THEM DIFFERENT. However, Your material people give you pleasure and warmth immediately though it is temporary. But, Krishna’s mercy is not realized by many.
In fact, the spouse is given by the Lord only. But, man can remember the pleasure given by his wife, but, he will forget the Person who gave that wife, ie, Krishna.
For example, the husband gives immediate pleasure. So, the wife is very attached to him. Whereas Krishna is physically invisible to her and hence she could not keep Krishna above her husband. This is the problem.
In case Krishna directly comes as the God in front of her and gives her Rs.10 crore, then, she will think of Krishna more than than her husband, because Krishna has given material benefit instantly.
So, those who gives immediate material benefits to you are more attached to you. Though you like to love Krishna, you are able to keep Him only after your parents and relatives because, Krishna is not directly coming and giving anything. In fact, we forget that all the material things we use are that of Krishna only.
(I am unable to love Krishna, after I started to love a boy. What to do? READ HERE!)
This happens because maya has tightly conditioned us with this material world and its pleasures that are temporary. As maya is very attractively spread, you are unable to divert your attention from material relations. These are the tricks of maya to engage you with material world.
What to do to to love Krishna the most?
Attachment with the material world and attachment with Krishna is not possible simultaneously.
This is because, material world is controlled by maya; So, when we engage fully with this material world, our vision would have been screened by maya. So, Krishna is not visible for us. Only when we remove the screen of maya, we can see Krishna.
Removing the screen of maya means leaving the family?
No. We can not leave the family as the world will be peaceful only when there are family set ups. Otherwise, there will be chaos. Everyone will live as singles and do whatever they want without any control. So, you have to honour the family set up. You have to respect your wife, parents, brothers, sisters and friends.
(Why should we love Krishna If He does not need pleasure from outside? READ HERE!)
But, you must keep the major fact in mind that THEY ARE GOING TO LEAVE YOU AT ANY TIME. So, there is no meaning in developing attachments with them. Just do your duties for your family and friends by physically being with them, but, do not consider these relations as eternal. If you develop attachments with them, their separation will disturb you.
So, Be physically with the family, but, keep your heart with Krishna who is eternal. Your family can not come with you when you die. But, Krishna continues in your next birth also. So, give your heart to Krishna who is eternal. Be physically with family and do your duties as your assigned duty.
Never hate any relative. They are also the products of Krishna and Krishna lives in them also. So, if you insult any creation of Krishna, that means you are insulting Krishna. So, love all your relatives as they are given by Krishna for you in this birth. A devotee has no hatred for anyone because he sees Krishna in everyone and everything.
Therefore, love all, but also keep in mind that they are your temporary relations for your body in this birth only, but Krishna is your eternal relation related to the athma. So, though these material relations will end with this birth, relation with Krishna will continue for ever.
If you develop this mindset, you can come very closer to Krishna. In addition to that, continue your regular sadhanas like chanting, reading about Krishna, associating with devotees, worships, prasadam, etc to keep your love for Krishna undiluted. Follow 4 regulative principles compulsorily as you are going to associate with the purest Krishna..
If you follow these sadhanas with the love and with the materially detached mindset, you will soon become closer to Krishna and you will love Him more than the material relations.
This is my guarantee.
(I love Krishna, but, I am unable to love the people of this world. What to do? READ HERE!)