Is a Girl devotee going to job inferior if she practices from home?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji, I am sorry for sharing such incidents but I really need your guidance. I need someone who can understand what am facing.
Prabhuji I am …….. years old female. Just done ……………. and already am delayed as compared to other fellows of my age. I am blessed to be surrounded with devotee community but as soon as I share my career aspirations they make me feel guilty as if I am doing some sin or I am creating an obstacle while surrendering unto lotus feet of Sri Sri Radhashyamsundar which really confuses me. My father don’t earn well and is abusive also. My mother literally take pains for me and my siblings. I was career oriented before. But now many devotees without understanding my concern shows me that am being mayavadi which disturbs me. They force me to just chant and read scriptures and everything will be fine. I feel this requires high level of surrender and right now I am not on that level. I already suffer from anxiety and whenever am free all I am thinking is about past which forces me to behave weirdly with everyone. I don’t speak politely with anyone. I am always harsh. I am unable to forget and forgive and expect everyone to forget and forgive me.
I am feeling pity on me. Same devotees who are suggesting me to not earn have good publication business, deals in garments, want her sister to be bank manager and one sister is lecturer. Then they suggest me to not do anything. Though I was good in studies but due to financial loss of my father I opted for open college and in field I had 0 interest coz the person who hired me in his office forced me to do graduation in that discipline else he said he will not allow me to be in office and at that time whatever I used to earn was very important as my father had emotional breakdown also. He had to switch off his business for a while. Then when I did MA there was COVID due to which my whole MA education was in laptop except a month because of which there was no interaction. Now I am totally confused. Male members in my family don’t guide me at all. Pls pls pls guide me. I dont wanna be away from Krishna Consciousness. Though I am Mayavadi sinful and am most impure I still want to be serious in Krishna Consciousness. Pls guide me. Your guidance means a lot..”
REPLY:
From your previous communications, I have observed that you are little bit innocent who is following devotion with excessive emotional approach. Such girls may face more disappointments thru others in devotional life.
See, in this kaliyuga, a devotee should be wise. Because the devotee community too has some practical issues similar to that exist in the outside world.
The resident devotees are practising devotees only. There is no guarantee that they have no habit of gossiping or unwanted talks.
(How do I manage my career/personal life as a devotee? READ HERE!)
So, sometimes, the resident devotees, like outsiders, may speak unnecessarily. One’s nature by birth can’t be changed easily.
In your case, I think that you should have told them that you like to follow full time devotion like them.
That is why, they might have told like that.
From your earlier messages, I feel that you have serious desire to follow devotion with Gopi bhava or complete surrender. But, because of your family situation, you are in a position to work and earn.
Those devotees have done a mistake. Having a single formula, they apply that for all the devotees.
It is not possible at all.
Because every person has different nature and family background.
(How Can One shine in both devotion and career? READ HERE!)
Some of our devotee girls and boys are serving their bed ridden parents. We should not speak about Prema to those suffering devotees.
Instead, we should encourage them to follow whichever devotional practices they can follow TO THEIR LEVEL BEST.
But, chanting possible rounds and following the regulative principles should be compulsory for all.
When a girl is keeping her bed ridden parents, we should not discourage her asking why she is not following deity worship and Mangal arati.
She may get discouraged and may give up even chanting out of frustration.
Always keep in mind: Chanting and four regulative principles are compulsory for any devotee of any condition.
I know a devotee woman who is living alone in her age 82. She can’t cook as she can’t hold the vessels. She does not have nearby ISKCON centers to get paid prasadam every day. So, she orders from a brahmin lady who is doing catering service.
(Tips to Convert our Material Career as Karma Yoga & Working for Krishna! READ HERE!)
Since she is getting food from outside, she can’t offer that food to Krishna. So, she offers fruits to Krishna by buying from street vendors and take the food cooked by a brahmin lady. Rarely she might have consumed onion and garlic if that lady had added inadvertently.
But, she is disciplined and chanting 16 or more rounds a day. She reads the literatures.
Can we find fault in that lady and discourage her?
Recently, an initiated devotee mataji called me for her family function in a small hall. Since she is an initiated devotee and my well wisher, I attended.
She had ordered lunch through a devotee cook who cooks for non devotees also and is also running a hotel. She had told to avoid onion and garlic in food.
When the caterer delivered the food, that devotee mataji offered that food to Krishna in the function hall having a small picture. Then, she served to us, a group of devotees.
When I took Sambar rice with papad, it was good. After 3-4 takes, I took the side dish, ie, curry. When I took it to my mouth, I found pieces of onion in that curry.
I suddenly dropped it on the leaf again and took curd rice with lemon pickle and finished my lunch there without touching other preparations.
(I like to become an Industrialist, but I fear for losing Krishna. What to do? READ HERE!)
After taking lunch, I went to that mataji and told NOT TO serve that curry for the visitors as it has onion.
This was the careless mistake by that cook.
Thus, such violations happen sometimes.
It was the mistake of that mataji to order food from outside when she has called devotees for the function.
She could have employed a cook at her house or function hall and cooked in front of her.
So, such things happen in our devotee life.
I know another initiated devotee telling me like this: “Whenever I go to…………. hotel, I would take good idly and dosa in the brahmin hotel just outside the railway station. I won’t take sambar there as it may have onion, but take chuteney as side dish that will be good”
If he spends just 45 minutes for auto rikshaw travel, he can get morning and lunch prasadam at the ISKCON temple that is aituated at 15 kms from that hotel.
So, Such compromises happen sometimes.
In your case, those resident devotees are giving impractical advices to you that a Girl devotee going to job inferior.
They may avoid going to the job because they are resident devotees. They can serve in the temple and get prasadam there. They can advice so if you too are a resident devotee.
But, for you, as an unmarried girl devotee who is practising devotion from home, such advices should not be given. You can’t be like those full time resident devotees.
(Loss of interest in job after following devotional practices! Solutions! READ HERE!)
You are in a position to go to the job and earn. A girl should be under the circle of her parents till marriage.
As an employee, you can follow devotion nicely.
You can chant sincerely and follow regulative principles even as an employee.
You can keep your love for Krishna alive even while working.
So, if going to the job is seriously needed for you, you can work and also follow devotion.
But, do not discuss your ideas to those devotees who discourage your going to job. Unfortunately, you are associating with the devotees who are impractical in their guiding others.
They are applying a single advice for all the situations that is wrong. They have a single opinion that a Girl devotee going to job inferior if she practices from home.
So, stop talking innocently to other devotees.
Be wise and do whichever you feel right.
Just refrain from the violation of regulative principles and follow chanting sincerely. THERE IS NO COMPROMISE IN THIS. Take prasadam even at office by taking from home.
If you lead a violating life after going to the job, it is an offense.
Until you are following discipline, chanting and taking prasadam, you can work, manage your life and follow devotion as a working girl.
This is my practical advice to you to manage and the view that a Girl devotee going to job inferior if she practices from home. Just follow this advice and reduce getting consultation from impractical and negative minded persons.
Best of luck.
(SERVING KRISHNA USING YOUR JOB/ CAREER – USEFUL TIPS! READ HERE!)