Can a Boy love Krishna in Gopi Bhava? Clear details!
A Male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhu ji. Dandavat Pranam. Prabhu ji, I am a 24 year male & am preparing for Government exam. I have also taken a diksha in Shri-Vaishnava sampradaya few months ago. I have been in devotion of lord krshna for long time. Since my childhood I have been reading spiritual books of Lord. I read the Prabhupada’s book – “Krishna – The Supreme Personslity of Godhead” in 12th for first time & since then after reading more n more my love for Krishna kept increasing always & today I am at such a state that I am fully convinced that I want only Lord & his pure devotees & nothing else in life.
My question/doubt/worry is – Since beginning, I had always been in dilemna of chosing sakhya bhava or madhurya bhava for lovingly serving Lord. Earlier I was primarily in the mood of sakhya bhava towards Lord..though there was also a comparatively less urge for madhurya bhava which i was not willing to accept (due to my bodily identity), though both bhavas (sakhya more & madhurya sometimes) were naturally coming from within. I didn’t chose. They naturally came
I many a times dreamed being beloved Gopi/Kanta of Lord but my male identity was convincing me always to ignore that due to my ignorance. By listening & reading more n more about Gunas, Lilas & Pastimes of Lord & their devotees through the kathas of Saints & my Guru, my understanding & acceptance of bodily identity of being male/gender has gone away. I realised completely that I am a soul & not a male or female gender… Thus, I am not at all hesitating rather I’m very happy & feeling blessed for Gopi bhava now & I am desperately desiring to serve Lord in Madhurya (Gopi Bhava).
It is coming naturally within… It is becoming so intense that i m not even able to study for my Gov exams. The thought of krishna as my Lover is not leaving me away. I am lovingly exploring myself in madhurya bhava slowly slowly & this is creating more n more interest & enthusiasm. At the same time I am worried as I am not able to study properly. I left my home few days ago where i used to study & shifted now in city area thinking that living with other students preparing for Gov exams will help me concentrate on my studies. I do worship Lord in devotion every morning, take his prasadam & go to library for studies. But thinking of Lord is not going away even here. I am feeling like I am becoming mad in krishna.
Sometimes when I get sexually provoked & also during normal times, I imagine myself as his Gopi/Wife & krishna is kissing, hugging, teasing & playing with me in that mood just like a couple does. I don’t know whether its right or wrong.. i sometimes don’t get what happens with me! Please forgive me Prabhu ji for that if it is wrong 😢🙏 & guide me! What should i do prabhu Ji?”
REPLY:
See, when we approachKrishna with any bhava, we get connected to Him.
Having Sakhya bhava or Madhurya Bhava or any other bhava is natural because every devotee approaches Krishna according to his inborn nature by birth.
Those who long for Love, ie, to Love or be loved, approach Krishna in Madhurya abhava.
Those who have the inborn nature of serving others approach Krishna with Sakhya bhava.
Those who are attracted by the preachings by Krishna approach Him as if approahing his guru.
(Role of Gopi Bhava, Sakhi Bhava & Manjari Bhava in Radha-Krishna lilas! READ HERE!)
So, these bhavas vary according to the nature of a devotee.
And, even the males can have Gopi bhava, ie, Madhurya bhava because Krishna is the Only Purusha and all of us are females in front of Krishna.
So, you can have Madhurya bhava also that is not unnatural.
Just because you are physically a male, you need not shy to have Madhurya bhava for Krishna.
No one can control his Love for Krishna.
It is natural for a jeevatma to love his master Krishna.
So, my first advice to you is that you need not shy to have Madhurya Bhava for Krishna.
My Second advice is: Live in a reality.
Madhurya Bhava is the matter between athma and paramathma.
So, Let it be in your heart. Love Krishna. It will take you to Krishna’s kingdom Goloka and there you can engage in the love with Krishna.
But, here, in this material world, you have to survive beating the hectic competition.
So, while loving Krishna thru Athma, work sincerely for maintaining this body and for leading a dignified life.
If you love your parents, you should act as advised by them.
(Gopis’ Lilas with Krishna – Right way of understanding them! READ HERE!)
Siimilarly, If you love Krishna, that means, you should live as advised by Krishna.
Krishna has very clearly advised us to work dedicating the results to Him.
Even the Gopis were working thinking of Krishna.
Krishna never supports allowing the love for Himself to affect one’s working spirit.
He Himself is working as an examplem for all of us.
From the beginning to the end of bhagavad Gita, He has continuously advised us to work work and work.
He has not said to abandon working even in one verse of Bhagavad Gita.
This means, Krishna wants us to work.
So, you have allowed your love for Krishna to affect your working mood.
It is not advisable and it is not the wish of Krishna too.
So, Love Krishna in any bhava including Madhurya bhava, but always be engaged in working leaving the results to Krishna.
This is the nature of a wise devotee.
(Is a male devotee in Gopi Bhawa behaving like a woman right? READ HERE!)