What to do if Devotion to Krishna is affected by one’s love affairs?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare krishna prabhu. Actually I am not so spiritual but I do 3 rounds daily religiously and am trying to increase. But am in a confused situation as I want someone (cant name) in my life no matter whatever it takes for me to get him in my life. I dont know I love him or not, I am obsessed with him. But I have this fear. Actually people get rejection then they will change but I do not want rejection so I m changing myself even before asking him bcoz he knows nothing about my love for him. When I tell him and if he rejects or will get committed to someone else then my all energy that I have invested in every moment will go. My every second passes by thinking of him when I wake up when I sleep every single time I remember him.
So I thought of shifting it to Krishna but I m not able to. Please suggest me what should I do. I know may be it is not love but I care, I m happy when he is , I can give my all happiness to him and can take his all sadness. Is it bad? I m simultaneously keeping in mind that I will get closer to Krishna also if I m getting closer to him.”
REPLY:
Ha Ha.
I laughed reading the last line:
“I will get closer to Krishna also, if I m getting closer to him (that boy)”
In fact, you will go closer to Krishna only if Krishna gives your loved person to you even without your efforts.
You tell that the attachment with that boy is screening Krishna from you.
But the fact is otherwise. Your love for Krishna is conditional.
I am unable to love Krishna till I am loved by that boy. Condition.
(Giving up selfish Love and following selfless love for Krishna! Tips! READ HERE!)
All are because of attachments.
That is why, the material attachments are called as Contamination for atma (Soul).
What to do if Devotion to Krishna is affected by one’s love affairs?
Not necessarily. Let us see why.
See, our love for Krishna should be unconditional and pure.
If our love for Krishna is conditional, that means, we are selfish. That again means, we have more attachment with someone else or something else than our attachment to Krishna.
“I am struggling without money. If I get more money, I may show more love for Krishna.”
“I am having health problems. Had I been healthy, I may be able to worship Krishna still better.”
“I am fearing for Discrete mathematics paper in my MCA. If I clear that tough paper, I can get MCA degree and then I may be able to think more about Krishna.”
“If I get that boy, I will give myself to both that boy and Krishna.”
“If I get US Visa, I will worship Krishna deeply from United states.”
These are a few rough examples for the conditional Love and devotion.
You are thinking that your whole life may be cheerful if you marry someone.
When love comes, only that lover will look like hero. Others will not be visible to you.
Attachment comes because of many reasons. Seeing the beauty of a person, gains from that person, financial background of that person, sense inducements, desires, etc.
So, you are now trying to attach with a material relation (that boy) and also a spiritual relation (Krishna).
If you truly love Krishna, you should not allow your devotion to be affected by the affinity for that boy.
So, you should not delay conveying your choice to that boy. No need to fear for negative reply by that boy.
Instead of wasting time in waiting for him, just ask him thru your or his friend or directly whether he has any idea to marry if you give consent.
Don’t fear for negative reply. If he agrees, bring your parents to talk to his parents.
If he says that he does not have any feelings for you, just forget him and start looking for some other boy to marry thru your parents.
Your husband has been already fixed by the karma network. So, if this boy does not agree, that means, he is not destined for you.
You may have some other boy destined for you. So, no loss. He was a choice. But it did not work out. That’s all.
So, when the pre-determined time comes, your marriage will get easily fixed.
Till that, don’t lose your heart to anyone.
Keep your mind stable without oscillation.
I have given three points:
(i) Love Krishna unconditionally.
(ii) If that boy accepts you, he is destined for you; If he does not accept, you have been destined to marry some other boy.
(iii) Boldly ask whether he is ready to marry you and accept the reply whether it is positive or negative.
If you don’t follow the above three, you will spend your young age in these useless thoughts.
What to do if Devotion to Krishna is affected by one’s love affairs? Not necessarily. It should not be.
Success in love may even push you deep in material life.
Best of luck.
(Love between two devotees & non devotees! Differences! READ HERE!)