Willing to settle in temple but fearing for issues among devotees! Tips!
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna prabhu ji, Dandavat pranam. I hope you are well prabhu ji, I thought to write you a mail after reading your today’s post on brahmachari ashram.
I was in engineering college, where I met devotees for the first time, I was not knowing about Iskcon in my 1st year of college, the college preaching was such that they give very less importance to material education and stress lot on spiritual education, most of the devotees failed in the semester exam, as if studying for good grades and getting good placement was an aparadh, so In the center devotees were less focused on studies.
What happened then, everyone was more stressed to get initiation and to join temple as new bhakta, many tried against their parents’ will and even own will, just to satisfy senior devotees’ order and because we respect them. Then most of them said no later on, as they couldn’t follow them and get disconnected with them, I also get disconnected after staying in touch for 8 years, As I was not clear whether to join or not.
As I am in my later twenties, I can say, boys of these age has not much clarity what they are heading to, just because senior devotees are telling to join, many boys do join temple, then later after 4-5 years, they come out of temple, and again live in their regular way.
I had lived with devotees 8 years, I had a fortune to serve devotees, 5 years in one center, and 3 years in one center.
Whatever Srila prabhupada has given, the same things are taught in the center, but the students are not full time devotee. Those center where students are consumed with services and sacrificed their academics, failed later on or struggle to grow in Carrier.
Each temple has their own politics, Many senior devotees have conflicts with each other and they do not talk to each other, nor the junior devotees of under two different senior devotee talk together. Many issues were there, I like to serve the devotees and liked their company that’s why I could stay with them 8 long years. I was having some fears so that pushed me to associate with devotees more, Also I had a desire to have good habits and principles centric life.
I could understand your approach, and I could understand how much broad vision you have for to be devotee and his life.
Please write me on this, is my understanding correct, please feel free to correct me.
Current Updates on me – It’s been 2 months working in a private school, side by side I am preparing for government exam, I am trying on 4 regulative principles, but not able to chant, I am listening devotees lecture, like ……….. pr ji, and …………… pr ji, and few others and also hear gaudiya vaishnav bhajans. I pray to Krishna that he keeps you fit and healthy.
Hare Krishna, Thanks and Regards.”
REPLY:
See, Some points you have written are true and some points are exaggerated. Their training program is like that. Only the devotees should decide whether such environments and way of life is suitable for them.
Their discouraging you as a fallen devotee, etc is not a nice approach by them. All the devotees can’t have similar situation at home and career. The taste and priorities of every devotee is different. So, rules have to be customised for every devotee.
And some devotees who take up direct full time service, but are little bit sensitive may have to face such situations.
If there are 100 persons, 10-20 will be like that. It is unavoidable in any forum of persons.
Many devotees have a motive or goal. Most popular motive is to put his impression among the devotees that he is a knowledgeable person and is a key person.
(Will Krishna accept if we desert parents and stay in temples? READ HERE!)
Next popular motive is to show that he is a devotee who is one of the cause/ pillar for the center to run.
Of course, all are good devotees who truly like to serve the Lord and His devotees. No doubt in that. But in this process, some of them develop some pride and the desire for getting noticed.
That is why it is said that we should even cross the Satva Guna stage (mode of goodness). Though you are acting in Satva guna and remain a good person, it has the risk of getting pride for being a good person.
For example,
(1) If anyone seeks your monetary support, helping them is in the mode of goodness, but it has the risk of having an expectation of getting respected by them. This is a contamination.
(2) If you are a good son to your parents but your brother is not upto the mark, it is the result of your being in the mode of goodness, ie, Satva guna. But if you see your brother with pride when your parents appreciate you in front of him, it is a contamination.
(3) Donating to the temples or devotional service or a good cause is a recommended act in satva guna that will bring the mercy of lord. At the same time, if one is proudly telling/ publicizing others that he has helped that temple or service or cause, it is a contamination.
(GUIDE FOR DEVOTEES: CAN GIRLS AVOID MARRIAGE AND STAY IN THE TEMPLES? A TEST FOR YOU! READ HERE!)
(4) Similarly, serving in the temples with dedication is a noble act done in satva guna, but if he thinks that he is a very important person in the temple and hence other devotees should respect him, it is a contamination.
This is how even some sincere devotees sometimes act with contaminated consciousness. They serve nicely and produce very good results in their services. But, some of them develop pride or ego that contaminates their consciousness.
They are very sweet effective in serving till others keep respecting him without asking any question about his performance or service. If someone comes to advice or question him about something, his contamination of ego wakes up and he becomes alert.
He may think: “Oh, this person may become a competitor for me in future if I encourage him”
Thus, he develops a feel of insecurity. This, in fact, is a weakness or flaw in his personality.
So, he may start to discourage him.
He has not deserted his ego. He wants importance in the temple.
There are some devotees who will function very effectively and actively until they are kept in a position. If any such devotee happens to lose that position, he will reduce or stop his services.
(Should a devotee marry or not to marry or settle in temples? A-Z Tips! READ HERE!)
The following are the general trends in any forum of people/ devotees / followers among some devotees (Not all):
Some of them think …..
(1) I only should be an important person; No one should become more popular than me. I have to ensure that.
(2) If anyone starts to gain good name, I will speak ill about him to the authorities and make them doubt at him. Thus, I will prevent his growth in service.
(3) I will give posts and encourage only those servants who never raise any questions against me and supports whatever I do blindly. I will speak in a pinning language about those who think independently or who give advices or suggestions to me.
(4) Only I should be a leader; I should not let others come up in their status and others should only be the servants, not leaders.
Thus, there are different types of contamination even among SOME sincere spiritual or social servants who are acting in satva guna.
So, if you stay in a temple or in any forum/ organisation, you may have to face one or a few things mentioned above.
Some devotees may have some extra agenda. Only a few will be very cooperative and adjustable in nature.
This can’t be avoided in any forum.
(Full time Service in temples by married devotees ! Who can choose? READ HERE!)
So, if you have patience and perseverance to face such things in a temple if it happens in some cases, you can stay and serve in the temples.
But always keep in mind, no position or service is guaranteed for anyone in any temple. You may have to lose your status at any point of time. Or, you may be given other options to serve.
I am one of the senior devotees who have more than three decades of service in ISKCON. In my long experience, I too have noticed such situations sometimes among the devotees.
But, I am clear that I will keep serving and supporting the temples in any situation we are in. Because I have no expectation of any position or praise from the management. Krishna is keeping me satisfied in the way I serve the Lord, devotees, Guru and acharya.
Our motive should be clear in any situation: We should serve the Lord and His devotees. It is the only purpose of being a devotee.
So, my advice to you is this:
You have once tried the brahmachari ashram and stayed and have faced some unfavourable situations. So, hereafter, try to serve as a congregation devotee sincerely. Work, earn and manage yourself. Support the temple financially. On weekends and festivals, help to keep the services going smoothly.
(Will Krishna accept if we desert parents and stay in temples? READ HERE!)
Select a devotee girl and marry her. Serve at the house as much as possible along with your wife.
Follow the Vaishnava etiquettes and marriage conditions sincerely with the cooperation of your wife. Serve the Lord together with wife. Raise your children as devotees.
This will be a good life for you.
This is the primary advice for you. if you have patience and perseverance to face such differences and issues here and there among the devotees that are natural in any temple, you can stay and serve in the temples.
To stay and serve in the temples, one should not be a sensitive person.
And their views about choosing a married life are wrong. If all the devotees settle in temples, who will produce the grains and run trade? Who will support to run the temples?
So, choosing Grahastha life and following a life of purity without attachments and violations will be as good as brahmacharya or sanyasa life as said by Srila Prabhupada.
Whatever ashrama you follow, you should follow all the recommended devotional rules and services sincerely and chant the Holy Names of Krishna.
Best of luck.
Staying in temple as a full time brahmachari! Crystal Clear advice! READ HERE!