Practicing devotion having irresponsible Parents?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji Prabhuji pls guide me if possible. My parents are very careless about their lives which have rooted in me as well. My parents wake up around 9 AM and by 11 AM my father goes to his office and my mother gets occupied.
She serves Krishna and after services and some household chores. She sleeps around 4 PM and wakes up at 6:30 PM.
She keeps on scolding me for no reason. She doesn’t take care of herself at all. She is very overweight over 100 KGs.
Since I have been with them, I am also on the same path. I too wake up at 11 AM coz if I wake before 11, my father keeps on shouting at me which eventually makes me feel hell coz of which I sleep at 6 AM and wake up at 11 AM but all this has impacted on my devotional practices.
My hormones are disturbed like anything and I am around 120 KGs. I am trying hard nothing is working. My whole life is pathetic. Nor I am able to please Krishna nor my professional life is good nor my health nor my mental health. My life is been like this since 10 years now.
Whole day I am scrolling over social media. I have nothing to do nor my parents are concerned. I share my problem with them they keep on scolding me. I am not too old. I am in my late 20s. She doesn’t allow me to go anywhere. Since, 8 years I have been occupied in house and hardly go anywhere and then she says you are very dumb as compared to your age group. I am totally frustrated from my life. If Krishna won’t be there in my life I won’t even hesitate to give up my life.”
REPLY:
Really a pathetic atmosphere for a young girl like you. I can understand your problem as I too have faced similar but better atmosphere.
Usually, a boy or girl will get enthusiasm to study or work or to marry, only if he/she is living in favourable atmosphere.
(If the parents object the devotional life, how can a child continue it? READ HERE!)
If a boy is surrounded by the students who do not have any interest in studies, this good student will also get less interest to study.
If a boy or girl is living with the ailing and/or helpless senior citizens more for long period without the direct presence and support of any other relatives, he/she may lose his/her interest to marry because he/she will learn how painful the human life is!
Let us take an example. A king gets two children. He loses one child in the river that was taken by a beggar and the king raises another child at his palace. The beggar raises another child at his hut. After many years, the child who lived in the palace became a prince with all the qualities required for that. The another child became a child beggar and then became a grown up beggar.
Both are the sons of the king only. But, because of the place of living, one became the prince and another became a beggar.
So, living background is very important.
A child who gets nice devotees as parents will also become a good devotee. If the parents are hIghly materialistic and irresponsible, the child may face many barriers and struggles in following devotion. So, Practicing devotion having irresponsible & Lazy Parents is difficult, but we can make it favourable for devotion.
In your case, your mother is a devotee as said by you.
It is not good for a devotee woman to wake up at 11am.
(What if my parents want me chanting manthras of other gods with Krishna? READ HERE!)
What kind of culture this is! If a devotee woman says that she will wake up at 11am, scold her daughter, prevents her freeness to move around, but will call herself as a devotee in front of other devotees.
It is thamasa guna if one wakes up after the sun rise. Just imagine how to classify her if she wakes up at 11am, near to the noon.
So, this is a clear example for irresponsible parents.
You too have to review yourself.
Let your parents be irresponsible.
Why can’t you wake up earlier and chant?
If you feel that they are lazy, why can’t you just neglect their lifestyle and focus more in devotion and studies?
In another angle, if they wake up at 11am, I will take it as a favourable atmosphere for me as I can peacefully chant and study till 11am.
(My parents object my ekadasi fasting. What to do? READ HERE!)
Let them scold you for being ineffective or uncompetitive. It is their false understanding.
You just review yourself whether their views are correct. If you are really lacking in something, just improve in that aspect.
Just develop your skills and get a good job and prove your effectiveness and competitiveness.
Others will pass discouraging comments at you only until you prove yourself. Once you do anything remarkable in life or atleast start to earn well, they will shut their mouth.
So, instead of blaming the irresponsible parents, you resolve not to be irresponsible like them and prove yourself.
Make use of their long sleeping time for preparing for your future.
Since you are a girl, you have an option to escape from such unproductive atmosphere when you go to husband’s house after marriage.
So, this is just temporary issue for you.
Equip yourself during their sleeping time, achieve in life and get married to escape from this unfavourable atmosphere.
Hope you are clear about practicing devotion having irresponsible & Lazy Parents.
(What to do if the parents object going to ISKCON? READ HERE!)