Can a Girl live only for Krishna by remaining untouched by a male?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji. Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. I am a 25 year-old aspiring devotee from a non-devotee family background. I chant a few rounds daily, read Gita, Bhagavatam and Prabhupada’s books, and regularly hear Hari-katha. My aspiration in life is to fully surrender to Krishna and serve Him and His devotees with my body, mind, and words.
Currently I am trying for a job to become self-dependent, but my parents are hurrying for my marriage. Many proposals are coming, and one family is even coming to see me. Hearing my parents discuss marriage beside my room while I chant makes my heart panic and disturbs my japa.
Since my first attraction to Krishna, I consciously decided to remain celibate. I have never been in any relationship, and Krishna has always protected me. The thought of conjugal married life makes me fearful and anxious, as I feel it may drag me into worldly life and away from bhakti. Internally and externally I do want to remain untouched.
How should I deal with this situation? How can I stay peaceful, protect my devotion, and at the same time handle family pressure wisely?”
REPLY:
You can definitely live only to serve Krishna and not getting touched by a male.
If you truly like to avoid married life, you can remain unmarried and live only for Krishna.
But, you can’t decide whether this is truly your final decision and whether you can say the same thing even after 10 years.
(Is having only Krishna as husband & unwilling to serve a man right? READ HERE!)
Most of the final decisions happen to be short lived and when a situation comes, that final decision is changed.
One may desire to do medicine as his goal as set in his age 12. But when he comes to the age of 16, he may prefer Computer Engineering. He might have heard many people saying doing medicine is tough, like that.
My sister wanted his son to do Computer Engineering and work in an MNC. He too agreed to her choice positively. But when he was nearing the completion of B.E (Comp.Science), he set his target as joining Indian Army. As desired by him, he wrote NDA exams and joined Indian Army as an officer.
Thus, choice changes in every age.
There are many boys and girls avoid marriage in their twenties thinking that the love of their parents is enough for them and they can’t lose their love.
But, after the demise of their parents, they think as if they could have married.
There are some devotees who skip marriage thinking that they can run their life by staying in a temple and serving there. But, after seeing the issues and responsibilities and strict environment in a temple stay for a few months, they may later like to form their own family and serve with the wife. But, they might have lost their age of marriage.
(Husband forcing to get a child after marrying to serve Krishna! Tips! READ HERE!)
Thus, situations change from time to time. Our priorities too change from time to time.
You now like to avoid marriage. Ask the following questions yourself:
Will you be with the same decision throughout your life?
Will you be able to regulate your senses throughout your life?
Won’t you feel lonely even after the period of your parents throughout your life?
Will you be able to manage your life expenses yourself throughout your life?
Mostly the women devotees can’t stay alone in a temple or ashram except in the exceptional cases. Can you manage yourself for the next 50-70 years?
I wish you live healthy till the end. However, considering the probability, will you manage yourself if you get old and become bedridden? Will you be able to spend for the costly nurses to take care of you?
Remaining unmarried is not wrong and it is your private decision. But, you should ask yourself the above questions and answer honestly.
The reason given by you is very sensitive though it is genuine. You don’t want to be touched by any male as you feel that you belong to Krishna.
But the reality is that marriage is not a barrier to get Krishna if you choose your spouse as a devotee boy. Fight with your parents to look for a dewvotee boy. Register your name in your temple mentioning the status and nature of the groom you are looking for.
If you know any good boy, tell your parents.
(Will Krishna accept all people as wife if all treat Him as husband? READ HERE!)
If you sincerely try, you can even get a boy who is not much interested in sex life after marriage.
For your information – even sex after marriage can be used as a service to Krishna. Get children and raise them as devotees and give Krishna two or three new devotees.
Krishna Himself says in Bhagavad Gita (7-11):
“I am Sex life which is not contrary to religious principles”
Religious principles means, having sex after marriage only to beget children, not for sense gratification.
Srila Prabhupada writes in the Purport that a grahastha should raise their children as Krishna Conscious. This is the purpose of marriage.
This is the actual advice by Krishna Himself and our acharya Srila Prabhupada.
If you can accept this advice by Krishna and Srila Prabhupada, you can consider marrying a devotee boy.
If you fight with your parents to look for only a devotee boy, that is very much understandable and acceptable. Don’t marry until you get a devotee boy. This is a genuine wish.
(Is an unqualified non devotee husband also a representative of Krishna? READ HERE!)
But, you should have strong reason for not marrying. Your version of saying that you belong to Krishna and hence no male can touch you, doesn’t seem practical though it is genuine. Because the relations with Krishna is that of ATMA (SELF) WITH PARAMATMA. But marriage is for body and mind.
Only using this body, we have to get Krishna. Krishna too lives in our body. So, our body is also a temple where Krishna lives. That is why we are doing some cleaning and maintenance of our bodies.
If you marry to serve the Lord, it is also a liberating ashrama. Don’t think that only brahmacharis can get Krishna. If you serve Krishna accepting a single wife, it is also liberating, not binding. But, of course, both the wife and husband should have sufficient willingness, conviction, dedication to serve the Lord. They should have realized that the purpose of marriage is to practice Krishna Consciousness and serve the Lord.
Such a marriage between two responsible and matured devotees is rare to achieve. But, if you pray to Krishna, He will help you showing a right person for you.
Consider the above advices and then take a right decision.
Best of luck.
(Is avoiding marriage thinking Krishna as husband right? READ HERE!)