Husband forcing to get a child after marrying to serve Krishna! Tips!
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji. Prabhu Ji, I did not have my parents since my childhood and my aim was mostly towards material things. And due to some reason, I met a boy and I trusted that boy and also told my family that I will marry that boy only but he had sexual relation with me and left without marriage after 5 years. Later I was mentally unstable and I will not marry anyone. I was sitting like this but I saw another boy and I got in a relationship with that boy again and we had sexual relation and that boy ran away. Now after some time I am Krishna conscious. Now ISKCON people have got me married to a Devotee and before marriage I told them that I do not want any relation and any kind of child and that boy who is initiated in ISKCON said that he also does not want a child and we both will serve Krishna together. And, whatever has happened to me in the past, I told them before marriage and later got married.
Now I do not want to get trapped in sexual relation and now after marriage, my husband is forcing me to say that I want a child, and forces to have sexual relation. I don’t know what to do. It is going on prabhu ji I am a sinner and I don’t want to fall in it again I just want to move forward in Krishna consciousness please understand me.
Somehow I think that I am not eligible to live and I desire to die. I feel that I am not a good person and I have that regret I had trusted the non worthy people in my life and now I am suffering like anything
Before marriage I have been discussed all this to my Prabhu ji and he had agreed that we will adopt the child front of Prabhu ji and Mataji now he is denying but I am not willing to do it I consider myself as a very much fallen soul soul I just don’t want to get into that process and have a child I just I don’t want to Prabhu ji please help me Hare Krishna.”
REPLY:
No need to die! Killing ourselves is a serious crime against the karma network and the persons who committed suicide loses all the priviledges and he will definitely get hellish term for violating the karma’s fixed time of death.
Most serious punishment is to live as a ghost till the natural death date comes.
(If someone commits suicide, What will happen after that? READ HERE!)
Being a ghost is more difficult than being a man. A ghost will have all the sexual feelings, hunger, thirst, etc, but it will not enjoy anything because of the absence of gross body.
So, instead of committing suicide, live for Krishna. This is my all time popular advice.
If a devotee commits suicide, what will be his status after death? READ HERE!
From now on, start to reform yourself and live for Krishna by involving in the service to Krishna connecting with a nearby ISKCON temple.
The punishments for the Past violations and happenings will be moderated or removed if you follow a reformed and disciplined life hereafter.
There is no need for any doubt in this fact.
If a violator has to commit suicide, most of the population on this earth have to die because most of them might have involved in some kinds of violations.
Most of the people helplessly commit sexual violations or any other violations in the absence of maturity and proper guidance.
In your case, you were cheated once; You should have learnt lesson from that incident.
But, you trusted another boy and were again cheated by him.
Then, you told the facts to the husband before marriage.
(Can a good devotee with dirty past marry an innocent devotee? READ HERE!)
Fortunately, he does not torture you for the past violations. This shows his good quality.
See that good quality and give him a child as a gift for his gentle nature of accepting you as wife though you told all your past incidents.
He must be a gentleman. Ordinary males will torture their wives if they know about her past violations.
Your husband might have really thought of avoiding children as you thought.
But, later, after marriage, he might have felt some emptiness without a child between you and him.
Or, he might have changed his mind when so many people asked him whether there is any child since it is long time since both of you married.
This is natural and understandable.
The society will continue to enquire or discuss until a couple get a child.
So, he too might have been enquired or he himself might have felt the need to get a child to make the life more beautiful by giving a new devotee for Krishna.
So, don’t think that he has changed without reasons. He may have genuine reasons as a normal husband.
He might have wished to avoid child in the past as you did.
But, the time and circumstances might have changed him.
(How to repent for our past illicit activities and sins? READ HERE!)
In the case of child, guarantees do not work in all cases.
It is natural for a couple to get a child after marriage by following grahastha rules.
By doing so, your family will become live and colourful.
So, think of fulfilling the wish of husband. You need not have sex every day.
Just give him a child because it is natural for a husband forcing to get a child when he develops a desire to get a child.
You please give up your decision of not having child.
Give a child to your husband and to Krishna.
Then, your husband may think in favour of you more.
This new child may strengthen the bond between you and husband and his commitment to the family maintenance may also increase.
So, consider this advice in the matter of husband forcing to get a child after marrying only to serve Krishna.
(Is having only Krishna as husband & unwilling to serve a man right? READ HERE!)