Why should a devotee marry just to have pleasures for 2-3 times?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krsna. Now a days marriage occurs at 30 or above 30. A man has tobe financially independent. Question is how one control sex desire before marriage. We should not follow unethical means to avoid diseases. So, we have to be controlled before marriage.
After marriage it is advice by scripture sex for procreation, and after conceiving of wife than I have to avoid s…x atleast for 1 year . One can’t use contraceptive. if conceived, one has to keep the child. In this age, more than 2 children is very difficult. So in unmarried time no sex and after marriage sex for procreation, ie, just 2-3 times of s…x.. So, why should I marry for a few times of s…x? So what is the solution? Please please reply”
REPLY:
You have asked why one should marry to control his senses because he can’t have s…x more than a few times if he has to follow sense control and s…x for procreation only.
You say that you have to strggle with senses even after marriage because of controlled s…x.
Seems to be genuine question, but the understanding of the purpose of the marriage is wrong.
(Grahastha Rule of ONLY ONCE A MONTH relations and Childlessness! A Case Study! READ HERE!)
See, marriage is not only for controlling senses thru s…x alone.
Senses can’t be controlled just by having more s…x.
When one has more s…x, his desires increase and hence he starts to try for varieties of women.
So, reducing mating is the important effort one should take.
When one tries to reduce the s…x, he should engage his senses in the devotional practices more.
When you advance in following the devotional practices, your senses will start to calm down automatically.
You need not take any efforts to control senses. Just engage the senses in the practices related to Krishna.
In the beginning of following serious devotional practices like chanting and fasting, senses will disturb more. This is like more dusts coming out when we stgart to clean the house.
But, when you continue to chant and fast, your senses will come to control on their own.
When the senses taste a higher taste, they lose their interest in lower tastes.
(How can newly married devotees control their senses? READ HERE!)
So, when he starts to enjoy chanting, fasting, etc, he alsostarts to show less priority for s…x.
This will definitely happen after starting serious degvotional practices.
Two lines principle. If you like to reduce the size of a line without touching it, you should draw a bigger line near it. This will make the first line small.
Same will happen while following devotional rules sincerely.
You have the ‘material desires to enjoy this life more. Just add Krishna in your day to day life. You will start to taste the highest taste.
In due course of time, your senses will get regulated.
So, a husband and wife can be happy even without mating if they are busy in serving the lord throughout the life.
If they enjoy serving the lord, material enjoyments will not attract them.
Without realizing this, you have written why a devotee should marry just to have pleasures for 2-3 times.
The devotees should marry to serve the Lord together, not to enjoy the life together.
(If Sex is only for getting child, won’t the devotees hesitate to marry? READ HERE!)
If the devotees too can enjoy to the fullest like non devotees, what is the difference between the devotees and non devotees?
If one advances in devotion, he should start to give less importance for material pleasures.
If he does not feel less interest in materia;l enjoyments, that means, he is not following devotion properly.
Therefore, don’t worry for sense control just because you won’t get more chances for sense gratification. Just follow devotion along with the wife sincerely. That life will be very satisfactory and very happy even without much s..x.
You will involve in s…x as a service to the Lord to give a devotee child to Him.
No more sense disturbances.
Because Krishna is more powerful than material pleasures and senses.
Where there is Krishna, there will be no material desires.
Aim for such a level of advancement in devotion that makes you forget the material pleasures.
Hope you are clear why a devotee should marry just to have pleasures for 2-3 times.
(Marriage Only for progeny, No Contraceptive & abortion -Why should one marry? READ HERE!)