Staying in temple as a full time brahmachari! Crystal Clear advice!
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
Hare Krishna Prabhuji, Please accept my humble obeisances.
Prabhuji, i am interested in joining ashram. i have been practicing Krishna consciousness for past 9 years. I got connected in ………….. temple and then now connected to devotees in ……………….
Recently i was joining the ………. course which is a preliminary course in ………….. temples to see to ourselves whether we are fit in Brahmacari life or Grhastha life. Although there was a huge struggle in my home to convince them for this course i did it.
The thing is, i am the only child and i do understand that parents will have difficulty but isn’t it worth joining the ashram if we are really inspired from within? We see in our sampradaya or others also that time and then devotees have joined ashram with great opposition and flourished. So what is the wrong in joining ashram if we are under proper guidance? The main issue is that since you are a senior devotee and i don’t want to confront my parents saying you are wrong as i can understand that the articles you wrote are case specific. I kindly request you only to give me a suggestion on how to deal with the situation.
One more thing is parents are financially stable and health wise also some issues are there but not anything critical. Since there is no way to contact you otherwise i had to write a big mail. Forgive me for that.
I hope i didn’t write anything offensive prabhuji. Please forgive me if anything is wrong.
Please kindly reply prabhuji as it is something important for me.
Your servant,
REPLY:
You like to settle in ashram life but your mother quotes my counsellings and advise you not to settle in brahmacharya ashram.
This is your issue.
First, Krishna is not innocent to give births to equal number of boys and girls. He has devised the society like that for a reason.
(Is marriage necessary or unnecessary for the devotees? READ HERE!)
This shows that the plan of Krishna is to help the majority of the people lead grahastha life and a few exceptional persons take full brahmacharya or sanyasa ashram.
For example, there are slightly less number of women than men in this world.
There are 414 crores of men and 409 crores of women in this world in the year 2025.
This means, 101 males for 100 females.
This further means, out of 101 people, 100 people would marry and only one will be a brahmachari.
This further means – brahmacharya or sanyasa life is rare and exceptional.
This further means that only about 1% of men avoid marriage and choose full brahmacharya or sanyasa life.
(BEING AFRAID OF MARRIAGE: CAUSES & THINGS TO DO! READ HERE!)
Even among this 1% of men, all do not avoid marriage to follow celibacy and brahmacharya. Their karma might not have allowed marriage in their life. Or, a few of them may prefer unregulated life.
Thus, even in the temples and ashrams all over the world, only a few lakhs of boys / males stay as full time brahmachari servants.
Out of 414 crores of males, only a few lakhs of boys remain full time brahmacharis throughout this world.
Brahmacharis mean those boys who follow the rules of the brahmachari ashram of Varnashrama dharma, follow purity and do not violate four regulative principles. All those who are unmarried need not be brahmacharis.
Some devotees who choose brahamchari ashram getting attracted by other brahmacharis get married in later life when they get a good devotee girl to marry.
One of my friend had a strong determination to remain a brahmachari till his age 54. In his age 54, a girl devotee of the age 25-28 developed feelings for him and wanted to marry him.
(Are marriages made in heaven? Are marriages compulsory? READ HERE!)
Both of them served in the same department in that temple. Then, that brahachari devotee of 50+ age married her.
He changed his Safron to white dhoti and started grahastha life.
There are some devotees who break their brahmacharya life in the middle after losing their age of twenties.
Another devotee well known to me got child thru IVF in his age of 50.
Thus, to follow full brahmacharya without violations, serious determination is needed.
Only if you are truly sincere to follow brahamacharya life and dedicate yourself for Krishna’s service for ever, you should choose brahmacharya life by staying in temples.
A boy can remain a brahmachari or sanyasi even by being in the home.
My advice in this situation is: Be a sanyasi or brahmachari in mind and soul. Perform your duties for parents and Krishna thru body.
Serve the temples and devotee community sincerely. Your parents are also one of the members of this society. So, serve them too with care.
Till they are alive, be with them. After their demise, settle in ashram.
If you get married, marry a devotee girl and serve the Lord and temple as devotee couples.
Srila Prabhupada has clearly said if a husband has a wife who assists in his following Krishna Consciousness, he need not become a sanyasi.
And, Sanyasa is related to mind. If mind is regulated, body is also automatically regulated.
If you marry to serve Krishna and also follow devotional service together after marriage, you are a fortunate person.
I don’t discourage staying in ashrams or temples, but that decision should be a final decision after evaluating all other possibilities.
(Marriage between initiated & uninitiated devotees! Tips to consider! READ HERE!)
If you choose full time brahmachari ashram in temples, you should follow that till end. Missing the age 20’s and getting interest to marry in 40s or 50s, it may not be good, though not wrong.
In every arrangement, there will be some difficulties and problems. There are difficulties and issues and even positives in both grahastha life and full time ashram life.
So, if you like to settle in ashrams, think 100 times evaluating all other possibilities and then decide.
If you desert a family, you should create atleast 100 devotee families thru your preaching AND you should not live for your pleasure throughout your life.
If you can’t make your child a devotee, don’t become a father – This was advised by Srila Prabhupada.
If you feel that you can’t create minimum of 100 devotees thru preaching, become a grahastha and serve with your wife. This is my bold suggestion for the benefit of devotee community.
This means, Marry and get child only if you can make your child a devotee.
Create/ cultivate minimum of 100 devotees if you quit marriage and settle in ashrams.
Or, if you can’t get married as per your karma/ horoscope, then, you can remain unmarried.
Others are advised to marry and serve as grahastha along with wife.
In your case, first evaluate why you like to settle in ashram, whether you can follow purity till your demise and whether you will fully dedicate for the service of the lord, before taking a decision on staying and serving in ashrams.
Best wishes.
(Are marriages made in heaven? Are marriages compulsory? READ HERE!)