I, a devotee, like to make any girl I see as my wife. How to control this?
A male devotee asked like this (I have hidden name)
“Hare Krishna prabhu, I’m a devotee of Krishna. i m following four regulative principle but not able to control my lusty desire. whenever I’m seeing any beautiful girl in bus or road or in my college or any other place I’m thinking to Mek her my gf or wife. i dn’t hev any bad intention towards girls but just searching a girl to Mek her my gf or wife. I know it is not allow in K.C.but how to control my mind. Plz help me what to do in this condition prabhu.”
REPLY:
Oh, dangerous desire it seems. How many girls can you marry? First marry a single girl and see how difficult the life is to run (Ha Ha).
After a few times sex with a single wife, you will understand that sex is nothing but like a child’s play.
(How to control mind seeing women in glamorous dress publicly? READ HERE!)
You seem to think that there is something special in girls/ boys. But, during the first time of interaction with a girl, you will fly in the air. Within five minutes, you will be again thrown from sky on the ground because everything is over. Other family problems will come to the memory.
People dream how it will be if the sex pleasure continues for one hour or till you decide to stop. So, they go to a medical store and take pills to prolong their pleasure for 30 minutes or one hour. Their nerves get affected as they act unnaturally. They become old like 70 even in the age of 40.
Remember, your body has been given suitable to have sex just with a single girl that too till a certain age. So, do not dream about multiple girls. Though you wish, you can’t satisfy many girls, because, a person will die soon because of nerves degradation if he has uncontrolled sex.
All girls are same anatomically and all boys are also same. There is nothing different or unique for any particular person. Whatever you see in your wife is final and universal. So, stop this nonsense. Get satisfied with a single wife.
(Can a Girl live only for Krishna by remaining untouched by a male? READ HERE!)
When I was in college, I usually sit in the first row in the class. One day, the Maths professor did not come. So, one of a boy from the next row behind me was telling a boy sitting next to him:
“If I am the only male in this world and all others are girls how it would have been? I can do whatever I want with all the girls. And, they too have no choice except loving me. No competition also”
That boy was replying:
“There must be a greater word than GREED as the word GREED is not suitable for your grand wish”
I turned back and told him in a small voice with smile:
“If you are the only male in this world, you will die within the age of 30 because your body can not withstand that much of interactions and the nerve degradation beyond a limit”.
After that, he did not speak about that topic. So, this is reality. Only one girl is written in karma for you and of course for all boys. All other 450 crore girls have been given birth to marry 450 crore other boys. The Lord has equally created the number of boys and girls. That means he fixed one girl for one boy. If you desire for more, you are stealing the share allotted for others. So, You can’t take care of any of those girls as your capacity will be limited. So, you incur serious karma out of it.
Nowadays, maintaining even a single wife is very difficult as a house’s real estate cost and the cost of grains or vegetables are shooting up. And cost of education is also in multiple lakhs. So, if you have a single child, you have to spend atleast 15-30 lakhs of rupees for his/her education. If it is a private medical college, you will have to spend atleast 70-80 lakhs, even one crore. Imagine if you marry many girls and get a lot of children. You will become a beggar losing all your wealth within years unable to protect all of them.
(Sense Disturbances while following Devotion. What to do? READ HERE!)
So, control the desires. If you see other girls with lust, one day, you will pull the hands of any girl out of lust and hence you may be caught by the law. Until we are arrested, we will not know the seriousness of lustful acts. Almost all the sexual offenders realize only after being caught by law or seniors or society. Some girls may even have consensual sex with you and tell the police that you raped her. So, such problems are also there in having sex outside marriage. So, marry a single girl and have her as your reliable companion.
Involve in devotion to Krishna seriously. Take only satvic foods, particularly Krishna prasadam. Avoid onion and garlic that definitely induce sexual desires. Avoid meat also.
Chant as much as possible and have association with devotees in temples more. Never see any girl through her eyes and do not deeply see them when they pass by. Just think “someone is going there and she is meant for some other boy. My wife is for me. My wife will be waiting for me. So, let me go home earlier”
As you seem to be a bachelor, I recommend early marriage for you to avoid any disturbance for girls. It is not wrong to marry earlier in the age above 20 if the senses disturb you. So, marry a girl from a good family and get satisfied with her alone. Gradually give up your attachments to sense gratification and focus in devotional practices sincerely.
Again I remind you: ALL GIRLS ARE ALIKE AND NOTHING IS SPECIAL WITH ANY GIRL. So, control yourself and start to concentrate in devotion seriously.
When you involve in Krishna Consciousness seriously, all these lusty desires will fade away gradually and one day, you will love Only Krishna and you will see others as the children of Lord. So, you will respect them, and you will not see them with lust.
So, intensify your devotional practices. All the best.
(VIOLATIONS BETWEEN GIRLS AND BOYS – HOW TO AVOID IT? READ HERE!)