Is a devotee showing emotions for friends good?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji. Sometimes the posts are just meant for me. Thanks for this Site and the services. From yesterday I am feeling low because there are waste thoughts in my mind regarding my room partner and i was avoiding her so that i don’t start any argument. Actually i thought i am emotionally attached with her because she helped me a lot in past. And i thought of taken her granted in my life. I know being in Krishna Consciousness, we don’t have to b emotional fools but should have Krishna on our minds. Please help me.”
REPLY:
A devotee showing emotions for friends is a sign of attachment if shown with expectations. Behaving with love and mercy with our friends is not wrong, but, developing an emotional bond is not necessary. Love them as the parts of Krishna. But, they can’t come with you all the time.
If that friend one day behaves differently or insults you, you will realize the real nature of the material relations.
(Is being a Good devotee and Good son simultaneously attachment? READ HERE!)
A girl marries a boy hoping that he will praise her throughout her life, like he praises while loving . But, when he expresses his tiredness, anger, tension to her as he has no other person to show those feelings, she starts to feel upset as if the husband has changed. She does not realize to whom else he can show these feelings except his wife.
You purchase a sari from a textile shop. The shop’s salesman invites you very respectfully and deals with full involvement. If you come home and go there again to change the sari as you do not find that colour suitable for you, the same sales man welcomes you with a low voice and he does not show full involvement in changing the sari. He shows less enthusiasm this time as this is not a new sale.
You invest in a finance company. They welcome you like welcoming a hero when you go there for depositing, say, lakhs of rupees/ dollars. If you go there to get back the money with interest after 3 years, he does not show the same enthusiasm while returning the money.
Thus, the whole world is finding happiness in expecting and getting something from others, but, they they do not show the same interest in returning the same back to them.
Similarly, you still have expectations in life. And, you also have oscillations between spirituality and material life.
(Is being affectionate with Relatives attachment that leads to rebirth? READ HERE!)
Actually, there is no need for such oscillations. You can show your love and care for your friend or anyone. Not wrong. Loving others is the human nature as all of us have come from the Lord who is also full of love. So, we too have to love others and show our mercy on them.
Then, where the problems start? Problems start when we expect that these relations are eternal and unchanging. Any material relation will have an end one day. We can’t avoid facing that end. So, we should be merciful to others and also be prepared to face the separation.
You be kind with her. Be roommates till the situation needs it. But, there is no need for emotions . Emotions will never allow peace in life.
Emotions should be shown only for Krishna, that is called BHAKTI that will be spiritual. If we show emotions for the material relations, we will be deeply attached with those relations that will delay our elevation to Krishna’s Kingdom.
(How is it possible to live without expectations? READ HERE)
So, be practical. Contact her and speak cordially. Thank her for all her helps. Visit her whenever possible. Do all the assistance/ support to her. Do all these things as a duty for a friend like Krishna helped His friend Arjuna, Sudhama, etc.
Interestingly, Krishna helped Arjuna though He knew that all the soldiers, relatives, gurus, etc., are going to leave their bodies in the war.
In short, Be kind and merciful to her, but, do not worry if she deviates from her kindness. If you worry for that, it will be called attachment.
A matured devotee who always depends on Krishna for everything, should keep his mind without oscillation in both the positives and negatives, success and failures. So, for such a devotee showing emotions for friends is a sign of attachment.
Have such a mindset. You will always be peaceful.
(WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE, MERCY AND ATTACHMENT? READ HERE?)