Working without expectations made my life mechanical. What to do?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna prabhuji, I am a male devotee practising since class 10. I was preparing for some national exams and I failed at the first attempt and then switched my focus to another national exam. From the beginning I used to pray to Krishna for help in guiding me and also seen the result like drastic improvement in my problem solving skills, but with time due to doing niskam karma I lost the purpose of my life. I started to feel that I am left alone, my interaction with my friends ceased and my life was surrounded by only studies with no purpose, no urge of temptation, I was attracted to nothing and I felt that I want myself to be completely destroyed including soul and want a rest from these, though it is not possible.
I worked really hard and due to influence of bhagwat Geeta and Krishna I was improving so fast (in devotion) but I lost my track and now I am actually living in a void. I am left with no purpose I always pray to Krishna for help but after repeated praying he is not responding, now day by day I am losing my identity, I am actually feeling nothing, the only trustworthy friend Krishna whom I trusted so much is now not responding.
I am actually being deprived of support from family friends and also I am isolated, I don’t know whether Krishna is testing me or not but I don’t want my existence. I felt like nobody is with me. Another thing is that I am not also connected with social media like YT, FB, insta all of those stuff and also WhatsApp. Only telegram for study purposes.
I am actually feeling suffocation since Krishna is not supporting me, I also perform ekadashi but I feel like I am a robot just performing my duties with no expectations.
I am literally confused prabhuji that what is actually happening to me?
I will be really thankful if you help me out. Hare Krishna.”
REPLY:
You have wrongly understood Karma yoga. That is the cause for all your negative feelings about yourself and the life.
Let me explain with some examples:
(1)
A farmer plants seeds. Will he expect those seeds to die without growing?
No. He plants the seeds to get good harvest only.
That is why, he prepares the soil, supplies water and nutrients, etc.
So, it is not wrong to expect good harvest.
(Living without expectations! Best Tips to follow! READ HERE!)
But, he should be prepared to both gains and loss. That’s all. He should take both gains and losses equally as the mercy of Krishna for some reasons that only Krishna knows.
Plan nicely and wisely for getting good harvest. Perform your duties as a farmer nicely. Then accept the outcome with a balanced mind.
(2)
Pandavas and Kauravas were on the battle field.
Arjuna hesitated to fight war with his kiths, kins and gurus.
Krishna preached him Bhagavad Gita and made him to fight the war.
Krishna did not preach karma sanyasa to Arjuna.
He preached Arjuna to perform his karthavya karma, ie, assigned duties.
Then Pandavas started fighting the war.
Did they fight war to get defeated?
They too would have fought to defeat the Kauravas. They would have fought to win, not to lose.
But they did it just because Krishna wanted them to fight the war with Kauravas.
(What if Material duties and Service to Krishna Pull us from both the sides? READ HERE!)
Thus, though they fought war for Krishna, they fought that war with full dedication and involvement.
This is the way of working.
Don’t work without planning and efforts expecting that Krishna will give you success.
Work for Krishna, but apply your full dedication and skills.
(3)
Everyone marries with a hope that the life with his spouse will be happy, spiritual and peaceful.
Will anyone marry to suffer?
Then, what to do if one suffers after marriage?
He/ she should take it as the outcome of karma and should try best to make his/ her life successful in spite of the problems.
(Assigned duties – Meaning and Performing them to please Krishna! READ HERE!)
(4)
Everyone studies and writes the exams in a hope that he will win the exam.
In case he fails in an exam, what should he do?
He should not get demotivated. He should take it as the outcome of his karma and should correct his mistakes and score high in the next exams.
Thus, we can give many examples.
The lesson is: Work as effectively as possible. Accept the outcome as the mercy of Krishna. Learn lessons and proceed further in life.
Krishna explains this in Gita (2-47) and in many other places very clearly.
Can anyone advise to work with less efficiency?
So, efficient working is very important in Karma Yoga too.
Karma yoga does not mean working without any spirit and with a dull approach.
One should work with good spirit and brisk approach.
When he faces failure, he should not get demotivated.
Similarly when he faces success, he should not get elated.
One should take both success and failure equally as the mercy of Krishna.
In your case, you have followed karma yoga wrongly.
That is why, you have lost a spirit to work. You have developed negative thoughts about yourself.
Just make yourself busy with your assigned duties.
Take success and failure equally.
Your life will be meaningful and successful.
Hope you are now clear.
(What if Material duties and Service to Krishna Pull us from both the sides? READ HERE!)