I stopped chanting and involved in offenses because I got no benefits. What to do?
A girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
Please help me. I was chanting earlier but now I stopped. i feel it have offended many things during that time. I have done lots of wrong things being a devotee. now 10 years over. i m not a devotee and every time cry to be away from krishna. I have married a non devotee. my my life has become full zero…I live in …….., there is no krishna temple nor association of devotees. I feel like when my death will come… I was chanting earlier every day. But still I did not come up in my life. So I have no faith or less faith in holy name and iskcon. Please help me
Since you have chanted expecting benefits, you have expected visible changes in your life. Had you chanted with faith continuously, you would have lost interest in leading a life full of expectations.
Such changes in us will happen only if we chant TO PLEASE KRISHNA, not for any other reasons.
Your way of following the chanting has been wrong and weak in the past. That is why, you could not continue it.
Many devotees chant as another duty like a machine. This is not good.
UNLESS WE CHANT WITH TASTE, WE CAN NOT CONTINUE IT FOR EVER.
What is meant by TASTE in chanting?
It is like other tastes only.
If your mother prepares Halwa sweet, what will you do? You will wait till she finishes it and then you will taste it. You will like to take that halwa as much as possible.
If a girl loves a boy, what will she do? She will always like to hear what he speaks.
Will a mother like to go way from her new born baby? She will like to be with the baby always.
This is the nature of love and taste.
Similarly, if you have STRONG AND TRUE LOVE on Krishna, you will do anything for Him. Like a lover keeps the name of that boy always in her mind, we too will keep the names of Krishna always in our mind.
So, we will like to chant His names all the time.
In my case, I feel happy whenever I get a gap of 10-20 minutes. I feel: “Oh, there is no work for the next 20 minutes. Why can’t we chant atleast 3 rounds in this time? If not, our consciousness will become material dominated. And, we have another opportunity to remember Krishna’s name for the next 20 minutes”
Then, my fingers will start to chant automatically and I will go away from material thoughts in that time.
Thus, we should take every minute of our life as an opportunity to remember Lord’s names. We should feel if we waste the available time, we are wasting our human life.
When will we have preferences towards Krishna?
Only when we consider Krishna as our MOST TRUSTED AND IMPORTANT PERSON in life. If we consider Krishna as another god who does not come in person to prove Himself, you can not develop love on Krishna.
When will we consider Him so?
You should believe in the existence of Krishna and the background protection given by Him in our life in every stage and our every step.
It seems that your devotion is not strong and your faith is not that much strong. You have involved in sense gratification activities more and lost the interest in chanting. When we involve in more sense gratification, those thoughts dominate our mind and hence we will not be able to get interest in chanting. That is why, you have lost interest in chanting.
Even if you stopped offenses in life, you should have asked for forgiveness to Krishna and then restarted and continued the chanting because you will get immunity from past sins.
If you are unable to spare atleast 30 minutes exclusively for Krishna, how can you expect progress in your devotional practices?
Without Krishna how can you exist here? You are treating Krishna less than a man I think. Because we give some care even for a human. But, we fail to care our creator and protector Krishna.
There are many ways to manage chanting even while we are busy. Let me give some tips about it.
You can chant while doing household work, but, you should count your daily rounds ONLY IF you do the chanting as an exclusive activity. If your mind involves in another activity also while chanting, it should not be included in rounds.
I too count my chanting while travelling by bus daily. But, I always ensure that I do not apply my mind in any other activity. I just sit in my seat and chant without caring what happens in the bus. My mind has no other work in the bus except chanting. So, we can count those rounds.
But, doing household duties need part of your attention. You must chant even while doing household works, but, do not count it in your daily quota. Use that only to remain in the thoughts of Krishna even while doing household duties.
So, from now onwards, develop sufficient vairagya to consider Krishna as your prime relation and your chanting will automatically become sincere.
If a devotee is unable to spare even 30 minutes daily for chanting, sorry to say this, he is a weak and casual devotee.
The Busiest Person like the Chairman of FORD CARS is chanting 16 rounds daily.
Why can’t we?
Therefore, forget about the past. Start a new life from now. Include Krishna back in your life seriously.
Don’t stop till you die. You will have subtle protection by Krishna that you can feel when you grow in your faith.
All the best.