Importance of family relationships as said by Indian Scriptures!
A devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Prabhuji I had a question that are there any specific scriptures which teaches us about material matters. Even devotees suffer from problems in relationships, they don’t know how to love each other as spouses, they have mental and emotional issues, they too get into unnecessary arguments with spouse, family and friends. They don’t know how to handle different personal and social situations. The scriptures teaches us how to love God, but are they any specific scriptures which teaches us how to be a good husband, a good wife a good parent, a good friend etc, How to love our family, how much to tolerate when to speak up and how to speak up as to not break the bond. Didn’t Krishna give us something to help us out in these matters. I believe these things don’t automatically come to us so I am asking. Please hide my name Prabhuji!”
REPLY:
Why should you look for separate scriptures to know the importance of family relationships?
Most of Indian Scriptures speak the importance of family relationships!
They teach the way of maintaining the relationships thru true incidents, stories, etc.
The Itikas and Puranas are meant for that only.
(What if avoiding Illicit Relations is difficult in advanced countries? READ HERE!)
Take Ramayana. Lord Rama has taught thru His life how to respect the father, mother friends and gurus.
Just because his mother (though she is not His direct mother) requested him to leave the palace for forest, He humbly accepted it and left.
He did whatever His gurus instructed.
He loved His brothers and father and also was loved by them.
Lord Rama showed how to respect the elders and even the animals, birds, etc.
What to say! He even gave a chance for Ravana to escape from the death by handing over Sita to Him back.
Thus, Lord Rama taught how to show mercy even to those who treated Him as their enemies.
He also taught that one should accept those who feel for their mistakes and surrender to us by forgiving and accepting the reformed Vibeeshana.
(5 Primary & Secondary Rasas or Relationships with Krishna by devotees! READ HERE!)
Krishna taught everything about the way of life in the Bhagavad Gita that helps us to get elevated to Krishna’s kingdom.
Bhagavad gita does not speak about how to deal with every relationship. It gives the spiritual solution to be with the relations but without getting attached to them and also how to surrender to Krishna and go back to Him.
Most of the puranas also have the stories that teach how to deal with the relationships.
Lord Sri Narsimha story reveals the great relationship between the God and His devotee and the God even appears instantly when His devotee calls.
The incident of Krishna sitting in dhyaan thinking of His devotee Bhisma deva who was lying on the bed of nails shows Krishna’s love for His devotees.
India has the Scripture of Kama Sutra written by Vatsyayana (from Pataliputra, currently Patna, Bihar) that is sold worldwide that speaks about Private relationship between a husband and wife. We spoke about Human Sexuality, Emotions, etc., even about 2300 years ago, ie between 400 BCE and 300 CE.
The basic social structure of Varnashrama dharma itself is designed to protect the relationships in every stage of life.
During the brahmachari stage, one should respect his guru and learn from him. Almost all the male characters of Mahabharatha, including Krishna spent this Gurukul life.
During his grahastha stage, one should remain a good husband and develop a good family serving the Lord.
During the Vanaprastha and Sanyasa stage, one should start to detach from the relationships and develop the relationship with the god.
The greatness of our Indian Scriptures is that they speak the greatness of the relationships and at the same time, they also teach how to detach from those relationships.
(If we stay away from torturing relatives, will it add to our karma? READ HERE!)
Not only that! Only our Sanatana dharma / its Scriptures have recommended how to maintain relationship with a person even after his/ her death. How great our scriptures are!
Even after death, we are advised to remember our relatives by performing rituals like Shrartha, Daily tharpana, Amavasya tharpana, etc. Garuda Purana speaks about this extensively.
Vedas and Upanishads also speak about maintaining the relationships:
Atharva veda: 30/3/02:
In an ideal home, the children are obedient to their parents. The parents are well wishers of their children. The husband and wife mutual relationship is sweet and happy. Only such family be always thrives and be happy.
Atharava veda: Book 1: Sukta 30: Sloka no 2:
Son must work according to his father and must have mindset of mother. Wife should use harmony voice while talking to her husband.
Atharava veda: Book no 1: Sloka-3:
Brothers should not keep hatred in mind for his brother. Likewise, Sisters should not keep hatred in mind for her sister. All talk together in harmony and live in harmony.
(Is being affectionate with Relatives attachment that leads to rebirth? READ HERE!)
The essence of the advice of the Vedas in maintaining the family relationships are:
Elders in the family deserve utmost respect and reverence.
Parents have the duty to care for and educate their children, while children have the responsibility to obey and honor their own family environment and ensure everyone’s well-being.
Conflicts and disagreements should be resolved through peaceful dialogue and compromise. By working together towards common goals, the family can overcome challenges and strengthen their bond.
Family members are encouraged to demonstrate kindness, empathy, and unconditional love toward each other.
The family members should follow sharing of resources, wealth, and knowledge with each other.
Performing the rituals and ceremonies should be performed as a way to strengthen family bonds.
There should be forgiveness and reconciliation in maintaining healthy family relationships.
Parents should impart wisdom and moral values to their children.
Thus, there are everything we require in maintaining the relationships in our scriptures. We have not read them. That’s all.
Hope you are now clear about the importance of family relationships as said by Indian Scriptures!
(Facing the ailments and deaths of Parents & Relatives by devotees! READ HERE!)