Taking initiation (diksha) before or after marriage – Which is good?

Taking initiation (diksha) before or after marriage – Which is good?

A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:

“Hare Krishna Prabhuji,  I have been following Krishna Consciousness from last few years, Chanting 16 rounds and following regulative principles etc. and trying to serve as per my capabilities. I am not married yet but searching for a devotee boy. So, Can you please advice if I can go ahead for “Initiation”?”

REPLY:

Initiation means the start of serious devotional life.

Serious means, organized and dedicated devotional life.

Before getting initiation from a guru, you may give excuses, but after taking initiation, you should not omit any rule recommended for initiated devotees.

(Courses and Exams for initiations (Diksha) in ISKCON for different levels! READ HERE!)

So, only if you are confident of following all the rules of initiated devotees, you should take initiation.

Particularly, evaluating the pros and cons of taking initiation (diksha) before or after marriage.

There are a certain situations that may make it difficult to follow all the rules of initiated life.

Before taking initiation, one should evaluate whether such situations exist in his case now or may in near future.

We should identify such situations and postpone taking initiation if one of such situations exists in your life.

This Post is intended to remind such situations that may be difficult to start the initiated life.

(1) IS TAKING INITIATION (DIKSHA) DURING THE STUDIES ADVISABLE?

In general, taking initiation before the age 20 is not advisable because you won’t have properly set the future career and personal goal in your life. If you take initiation in the age 16, but later you get a seat and decide to do medicine, following the rules will be difficult. So, it is advisable to postpone initiation till one finishes his studies.

This is better than taking initiation and then struggling to finish the sadhanas while studying the college studies.

(Diksha (Initiation) & Benefits! How It Works! Details with Examples! READ HERE!)

(2) IS TAKING INITIATION (DIKSHA) BEFORE MARRIAGE ADVISABLE?

If you take initiation, it will be better to marry only the initiated devotee to have better understanding between the husband and wife.

So, (i) Only if you are firm in marrying an initiated devotee (or) (ii) only if you can definitely get an initiated devotee to marry (or) if you have no willingness & idea to marry, you should take initiation before getting married.

Because marrying a person with the similar devotional status will be good for following devotion without much difficulty.

(3) TAKING INITIATION (DIKSHA) IF THE CHOICE OF SPOUSE IS NOT IN YOUR HANDS?

In some families, the parents may have some considerations like Caste, religion, family background, Career status, etc. The girl or boy may not be able to break this family tradition and culture.

Therefore, If you are not confident that you can ensure that you can convince your parents to arrange your marriage with only a devotee, taking initiation in your marriage age is not advisable, because you are uncertain who will be your spouse and what his/her expectations are!

In some families, the parents dominate in finding the boy or girl for marriage. If that spouse happens to be an uninitiated devotee, following the devotional practices will be difficult for you as an initiated devotee.

And, immediately after marriage, sense regulations may be difficult for the husband and wife. They may involve in mating more than the recommended level initially.

So, taking initiation just before the marriage or immediately/ within an year after marriage may be avoided.

(4) TAKING INITIATION (DIKSHA) AT THE TIME OF DELIVERY RIGHT?

If the child is confirmed, you can avoid initiation till one year after child delivery. Because you may have extra duties related to child birth that may make following the sadhanas difficult.

(Why Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Sarasvati took diksha from the Picture of his guru Gaur Kishore Babaji? READ HERE!)

(5) WHAT IS THE RIGHT TIME FOR GETTING DIKSHA?

Anyone above 18 can take diksha if he is willing to follow the rules of initiation. The point is that you should take decision on your own after proper evaluation of your background and situation.

However, the age in which one can take may vary from person to person depending on his future plans and family background.

As said above, if you can get a devotee to marry, you can take diksha before marriage.

In other words, if you take diksha before marriage, it is advisable to get married to an initiated person only.

If you are not sure whether you will get an initiated devotee to marry, postpone the diksha till you marry and get a child. After one year of getting child, you can take initiation.

If you decide to avoid marriage, you can take diksha at any time after 20.
In your case, since your parents are looking for groom, wait till you get a devotee boy. Live with him for one year and then take initiation.

Sometimes, you may find a good initiated boy, but you are not yet initiated. So, you may not be able to marry him. To avoid such situations, you can take initiation now itself.

(Why our problems continue even after initiation if guru accepts our karma? READ HERE!)

If the boy your parents arrange wants an initiated devotee girl, assure him that you will take initiation after marriage.

Thus, there can be three chances only for you:

(i) Take diksha now and marry only an initiated devotee boy;

(ii) Or, Marry an initiated devotee boy assuring him that you too will take diksha after marriage;

(iii) Or, First marry a boy who is a devotee but not initiated and both of you take diksha after an year of marriage.

Now, you can decide from the above three chances.

Which one will be the safest option among the above three?

If you are serious about your devotional life, first choice will suit you.

If you truly like to advance in Krishna Consciousness, getting diksha now, ie, whenever you get chance for that and then marrying only an initiated devotee boy will be a good option.

The above mentioned advices are not rules for taking diksha. Instead, just some useful practical suggestions to consider and take decisions on your own.

Hope you are clear whether taking initiation (diksha) before or after marriage is good?

(Is Brahmana Diksha (Second Initiation) Compulsory for all? READ HERE!)


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Author: RAJAN

RAJAN from Tamil Nadu, India, a Life Patron and an Initiated Devotee being in ISKCON for nearly three decades, serves anonymously to avoid Prominence and crowd as an insignificant, Humble and Neutral Servant for all the devotees of Krishna! He promotes Social media forums and this blog-website as e-satsangha (e-forums) blessed with Lakhs of followers, to give Spiritual Solutions for all the Material Problems of the devotees since 2011! He writes friendly and practical tips to practice devotion (i) without hurting the followers of other paths, (ii) without affecting the personal and career life, and (iii) without the blind, superstitious and ritualistic approach! He dedicates all the glories and credits to his Guru and Krishna.