GUIDE FOR DEVOTEES: CAN GIRLS AVOID MARRIAGE AND STAY IN THE TEMPLES? A TEST FOR YOU!
A girl devotee whose name is hidden asked like this:
“hari bol sir i wanna to ask a question.dat i want to come to the temple for live.so may i come there. nd wat will have to do me in dis way. i want. to serve krishna. sir g i m in trouble.plz take me out of dis situation. need ur suggestions. pls pls ir tell me jai shree krishna”
REPLY:
(i) First, the girls have been advised by acharyas including Srila Prabhupada to marry. As per the scriptures, they should live under the shelter of father or husband. Unless their karma shows no marriage at all in this birth, they should not drop marriage and violate the karma of marriage. Karma can be violated, but, it will again act in the next birth. Therefore, going with the karma and clearing it is good.
(ii) Srila Prabhupada says if the husband happened to be unchaste and indisciplined, the wife may leave him and live alone (of course, or with parents) and the remarriage is not recommended.
(ii) Personally, I do not advise the girls to stay in temples. It is not encouraged by most of the temple managements also unless it is very much necessary and if they have any separate hostel for them. They are not allowed to stay inside the ashrams or temples. Therefore, Practice devotion seriously from home itself.
Also read: GUIDE FOR DEVOTEES: WHO SHOULD AVOID MARRIAGE? WHY OTHERS SHOULD MARRY?
(iii) My advice for girls will be to worship Lord publicly in the common temple hall only. You can chant there itself. After that, return to your home and continue your practice there from within the family.
(iv) A sathsangha is the place where the brahmachari male devotees and some sanyasis will be staying. If girls are allowed to stay there, the atmosphere will be disturbed there though nothing is intentional, but, as per scriptures, unmarried girls are not to be allowed where the males are following spiritual practices. Let the brahmacharis and sanyasis do their spiritual duties peacefully without disturbances. Let us not cross that line.
Also read: GUIDE FOR DEVOTEES : WHO SHOULD COMPULSORILY MARRY? WHY?
(v) So, Follow all the devotional practices from home itself. Girls have some safety only when they are with their family. The family structure should also be maintained for a peaceful society. If everyone goes out of home to temples fearing for problems, how the world will function? How the temples will get funds to protect the devotees if all grahasthas go to temples deserting families.
Hope this reply helps you.
WHY CAN’T THE TEMPLES GUARANTEE A DEVOTEE A PERMANENT SHELTER?
A TEST WITH 12 QUESTIONS TO ANSWER BEFORE DECIDING NOT TO MARRY & TO SETTLE IN THE TEMPLES FOR FULL TIME SERVICE!
Please answer my following 12 questions if you decide to skip your marriage and settle in temple, hearing the views of some devotees partially. If your decision to join as a full time devotee in a temple is firm even after considering all these questions seriously, wow, it is so nice! You are eligible to become a full time devotee!
Also read: You advise early marriage. What to do if planets delay the marriage?
(1) If you remain helpless financially or physically, will those who advised you to skip marriage come and help you at all times?
(2) Will they help you in your last period of life? Will you get a place to live conveniently?
(3) Will they take care of you if you become unable to move? Will they clean your stool and urine on bed? It is practically impossible for any temple.
(4) Will they remain your permanent associates throughout your life time? Will they be with you even when you live on bed for 20-30 years? It is practically impossible for any temple.
(5) Have you seen any devotee staying in the same temple for very long period except a few? If any misunderstanding comes between you and the temple authorities, who will protect you? Like other things this is also not guaranteed.
Also read: Is marriage necessary or unnecessary?
(6) Will a temple give assistance if you need some major treatment that involves lakhs of rupees?
(7) You serve the Lord through the temples without salary free of cost. Will they keep you in their care even when that temple faces financial crisis?
(8) If they convey their genuine inability to take care of you when you are above 50 or 60, what will you do to survive in this world?
(9) In what guarantee, you skip marriage? Are you thinking that this life is a bed of roses? Remember, life is a serious one. Don’t consider that the life will go like today for ever.
(10) If everyone stops marrying, how this earth will function?
(11) Why Krishna created equal number of 350 crores of girls and 350 crores of boys on this earth? To live separately like orphans? It seems that He expects us to live a decent grahastha life, get children, develop them as His devotees and thereby creating a good , devotional society.
(12) If you desert marriage, will you be ready to take care of old parents in their old age or terminal age even by cleaning their bodies? In case you have any younger sister (s) to give in marriage, won’t they need your support as a man to arrange their marriage? Are there any other brothers to take care of the welfare of parents or sisters/ brothers?
If your decision to join as a full time devotee in a temple is firm even after considering all these questions, wow, it is so nice! You are eligible to become a full time devotee. Happy serving the Lord. Let Krishna bless you.
In case, you feel that you will need still more time to go for full time service in temples, then, postpone or drop that decision.
If you do not know clear answers to a few of the above questions, then, don’t go for dropping the marriage at this time. Go ahead with marriage arrangements with thorough evaluation.
Also read: AFTER COMING TO DEVOTION, I HATE MARRIAGE AND LIKE TO SETTLE IN THE TEMPLE. CAN I DO SO?