Family Problems and Depression demotivating the devotees! Solutions!
ACTUAL QUESTION:
Hare Krishna Prabhu.. I am associated with ISKCON since last 3 years….I am observing Ekadashi, chanting (can not do 16 Rounds), attending kirtan and offering Prasad to the Lord Krishna in my home. I m with my wife and a daughter 8 years….they are too becoming Krishna Consciousness … Prabhu ji…. I am facing lots of difficulties in life… though I have faith in Krishna…to guide me and protect me from all such problems….but most of the time …I get disturbed….let me share my problems with you…. 1. My life is totally unstable 2. I entered into a business with my friend…..but he cheated on me. Still my money is lying with him…. 3. My parents and my family are staying separate causing me financially unstable 4. My sister who is a widow facing lot of difficulties and remains worried 5. I have purchased 3 plots …two are in dispute and our lands in my Village are also disputed by my other brothers.. 6. Due to instability and worries, my wife made abortion in 2012 for our second issue….now we want to go for a child (Boy)….is there any chance as per my Horoscope ??? 7. Few years back, as advised by one astrologer, I am worshiping ..Kalasarpa Yantra in my home…due to RAHU & KETU….. should I continue ..as I have kept photo of Lord Jagannath, Narsingh Bhgaban, & Krishna and been worshiping Lord Krishna & Jagannath in my home…. 8. I am now working in …………. but not getting the pay fixed as per my last salary in Navy as I m a retired defence person and is there any further business I can Ventured into as per my Horoscope 9. When can I be able to make a new house ? Prabhu ji.. please guide me ..what should I do ??? Hare Krishna …
REPLY:
Family Problems and Depression demotivating the devotees is a natural phenomenon during the initial stage. You should change your mindset to come out of such problems though the problems exist. Let me tell you how.
Actually, you have developed an opinion about this world and stick to it. But, the world is not like that. So, you get agitated with the Family Problems and Depression!
(How to pray to Krishna if we like to come out of problems? READ HERE!)
Yes, as said in Bhagavatham, the dharma is standing in just one leg as three legs were taken by adharmic people. Hence it is true that three fourth of the people in kaliyuga are selfish, cheating, and with confusions. But, there are One fourth of good people also. There are so many devotees who are selflessly doing service to the Lord. Though we are different in concepts, there are good people in every religion. In every religion, there are a section of people who find peace in putting their full faith in God.
The Family Problems and Depression faced by you are faced by many people in this world. Only the range is different.
Where there are properties, there will be issues too.
Where there are relatives, there will always be misunderstanding, cheating, betrayals, selfishness, etc.
If you expect the materials and material relations to be fully cooperative to you, you will become upset.
(I stopped chanting because of severe problems I face in life. What to do? READ HERE!)
No one would like to give up his rights and ego. They always try to acquire the benefits from whatever source they get.
Even among the brothers and sisters, we can see the property disputes in many families.
We have seen in the news that a son kills even his father to get his properties soon.
We have heard the killing incidents to get insurance amount.
If you search for purity in material relations, it is like searching for water in a desert or expecting mercy from a starving lion.
The people are always looking for the opportunities to make themselves rich by adding more and more materials.
(How to get mental peace in spite of problems in kaliyuga? READ HERE!)
Thirst of wealth; Thirst of fame; Bundle of ego; Selfishness, etc.
This is the real face of many people in this kaliyuga.
We should learn to proceed further bypassing all such anarthas of this material world.
We should sincerely perform all our assigned duties and also follow devotion feeling pity for such selfish people.
Let anything happens. Be unaffected by them mentally. Because, Krishna cleanses you to get you back to Him. That is why, even sincere devotees are suffering more.
We should not hate anyone in terms of religion, race, status, character, etc. We should not be affected by their activities. However, you should learn to convince yourself that this world is the mix of good and bad people and we should be careful in dealing with the people.
Should we fight with others or be silent, if they try to spoil our life? READ HERE!
Therefore, be just a spectator in this world and don’t think that you are the cause for the affairs of this material world. Do only the activities that will help you to learn, earn and maintain your family life. Do all these activities JUST AS DUTIES to satisfy Krishna.
When you have the desire of pleasing Krishna through all your activities, you will bother only about pleasing Krishna. So, you will not fight hard to please people. Because, you can never please all the people. Everyone is from different background and influenced by different kind of people. So, if you expect others like you, you will miserably fail in your judgement.
If you associate with 10 people, 5-6 people may cheat you. Just because of that, you can’t stop associating with the people. You must convince yourself that there are 4-5 good people and they will help you.
Above all, You should believe the concept of Karma to come out of family Problems and Depression. You would have hurted some people in your previous births. That is why, you become upset by many people in this birth. So, if you are cheated or betrayed by anyone , learn to bear as if it is good for you. Because, Krishna has cleansed you in this particular karma. Since you are cleansed by given such painful happenings, stage by stage, you will become free from pending karmic reactions.
Kunti Devi prayed to Krishna to give only problems for her. Because, only if she gets more problems, she will always think of Krishna. This is the mindset of the devotees. They take everything as the mercy of Krishna.
(My desires never get fulfilled in life. Why it is so? READ HERE!)
So, have interactions with the people knowing that there are both good and bad people. Be prepared that anything will happen. Take whatever happens as the mercy of Krishna to cleanse you.
Krishna is cleansing you. So, thank him. Stop thinking deeply. Don’t expect ONLY POSITIVES in life. If you had done only good acts in your previous births, you would have taken birth in heavenly planets. Since you have done both good and bad acts in your previous births, you have taken birth on earth.
This earth is a planet of karma. We take birth here to face the reactions for all our previous acts. So learn to realize this reality and find happiness by understanding the purpose of our life and facing the problems as a spectator.
If you go still closer to Krishna by following the devotional practices like chanting sincerely and more, you will learn to neglect such disturbing, cheating and other negative people in future.
(Why Krishna gives more problems to His devotees, but helping many non devotees? READ HERE!)
Start chanting more and forget the pains. Offer pujas (worship) to Krishna and offer Him food daily. Take only prasadam. Associate more with the devotees and try to reduce the company of the highly materialistic people.
Find peace by spending more time with the devotees/ vaishnavas. There are heavy crowd in cinema theatres that bind us in this painful material world. But, we do not fully utilize the temples and sathsanghas that help us to purify from our previous karma by teaching the knowledge and processes.
Within a few months, you can notice that you are leading a blissful life in the middle of problems. You will learn to know to deal with the Family Problems and Depression as a spectator, not the doer.
We are not the doers. We are just instruments in the hands of Krishna. Only our three gunas (modes) act, not ourselves.
If one faces more problems, that means, he is getting purified. Only if one is purified from the karma, he can go back to Krishna.
So, welcome the problems and pray to Krishna to give strength to face the karmic reactions.
Hope you have understood this.
(How to be happy in spite of serious problems? READ HERE!)