Facing Critical situations that have no visible solutions! A Case Study!
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
(Read this message fully to understand his pains)
Hare krishna Dandbat Prji, thanks for doing great service, i am 46 yrs old boy not married living in my company quarter with my mother (widow) and two sisters age above 48 yrs not married, my mother is a serious psychiatric patient having asthma, diabetic , pressure & always in anger & chastise us in louder high pitch voice , quarreling with relatives, neighbours, doctors, abusing us and my father(Late) in front of our friends, relatives, doing ugly for preparing food and other works, used to abuse my father & grandmother right from when i was 13 yrs old but doesn’t want to listen any negative words for herself & her family members. Very sorry to write all these negative words about my mother who gave me birth in this material world & loves me very much but out of disappointment & depression have to do this, consulted many psychiatrist but nothing happening positive.
I use to go lskcon centre every Sunday, participate, love doing kirtan since last 12 yrs observe all ekadshi taking veg foods (some times with onion garlic) giving some donations but not doing chanting properly, my sisters also chanting & taking veg food now. I tried few times to bring devotees to meet my mother but nothing +ve happened.
Now my job transferred to 165 kilometres from my quarter & have to leave quarter in few months. After reading Geeta I can understand that all sufferings are due to my past karma but i want to know that can’t we get rid of all these problems in this life. I can’t find out any way as i feel very corner & lonely because l am very introvert & don’t want to share my problems with anyone except krishna or devotees like you .Now as per scriptures we can go back to Goloka in this human form only but confused how to get atleast peace in mind as i am losing hope & confidence in both spiritual and material life.
Now l want your help to plan my future as have to get a house but couldn’t plan due my mother’s quarreling nature in any good society, l & my sisters wants to live in any Dham (holy place) like Mayapur or Vrindavan now or in future to fulfill our dreams to atleast live in Dham & get association of pure devotees in the end. Not good in English but tried as my best,plz help what to do in that condition & how take further steps. lf you share this plz hide my name & forgive me if anything is wrong. Dandbat
REPLY:
This is a very very difficult situation for a devotee like you and I felt so sorry after reading your message that disturbed my heart much.
Facing Critical situations that have no visible solutions requires patience and maturity. This Post can help you in Facing a Critical situation.
I myself have so many sufferings in life and I am bearing them considering it as my karma.
(I stopped chanting because of severe problems I face in life. What to do? READ HERE!)
But, your suffering is more than that of mine.
But, the mindset that I follow in my life will match your case too.
As a Soft hearted counsellor and astrologer, since I have been reading the sufferings of hundreds of devotees, I myself have been disturbed. The money that I charge for horoscope service is not just for my time, but also for the severe mental stress that I experience and the Joint and muscle pains that I severely face for doing this service continuously.
So, I am living with the tablets and the mercy of Krishna, I think.
At the same time, since almost all the people are suffering in one way or other, whenever they read your sufferings, they will feel as if their sufferings are far less.
So, I am counselling and Posting this now.
You yourself have crossed the marriage age.
Your sisters have also crossed their marriage age.
You have severe difficulty thru your psychologically affected mother.
(Is only facing more problems make one a devotee of Krishna? READ HERE!)
This seems to be the severe karma you have derived from your ancestors and yourself from the previous birth.
Let me tell what I did in Facing Critical situation that has no visible solutions:
(i) I suffered with the unbearable severe business loans in my twenties and early thirties. I came out of them because I had the guts to sacrifice my personal priorities to recover my image.
(ii) I was keeping my aged mother for decades and I kept her without much issues because I had the guts to sacrifice my personal priorities to keep my aged mother happy.
(iii) Understanding the material world as the place for atleast 75% of selfish people, I started preaching the suffering people to give them soothing guidance to face their issues. Again, I had to sacrifice my business to do this service. I happily accepted.
(iv) Though I tell our pains to do this service and seek support from others to manage my pains, some may not understand the reality correctly. So, I stopped expecting support and just give a common request and I am running this service with the voluntary support from some gems of devotees.
(v) Our people are used to make the humans as Gods and rush to meet and glorify the servants of god. Understanding this, though I do this service as a humble devotee without showing my identity to avoid receiving honours and being considered as a saviour and great devotee by others, still some people may doubt me as if I have motives in the service. Thus, being simple and humble is also not honoured by the people as it is.
(Is immediate relief from Problems Possible for devotees of Krishna? READ HERE!)
These five examples are just samples.
What I come to say with these examples from my own experience?
Simple. Only if a Person sacrifices in a family, Others can flourish.
Evaluate the above statement honestly. You will find it true.
If a mother sacrifice going to the job, she can bring up her children with follow up.
If the parents sacrifice, the children will flourish in life.
If the Guru sacrifices, good disciples are cultivated.
If the leader sacrifices his life, the country is safe and flourishing.
If there are four or five members in a family, one would have sacrificed his/ her own desires for the welfare of others.
In one of my relative’s family, there were five girl children and no boys. The eldest girl decided not to marry and she spent her whole earning to get other sisters married. She thought that she can not bring other sisters up if she marries someone. Now, all the four are happy and that eldest woman is living alone.
In Security services, many soldiers die in war to protect their country. So, Crores of the people of a country is safe only because of the sacrifice of a few thousand soldiers.
So, One’s Sacrifice is the life for many.
This society is running with this base only.
Now, you would have understood what I come to say.
It may be difficult to digest.
But, it is the only way you have.
(WHY KRISHNA DEVOTEES ARE GIVEN MORE PROBLEMS? (WITH SUBTLE FACTS) – PART-2! READ HERE!)
Yes, Sacrifice your preferences in life for the welfare of others.
Why?
It is not advisable for your sisters to marry after their age 48.
So, let them not marry, but take full devotional way of life. They will get the mercy of Krishna and Peace.
You too avoid marriage beyond this age of 48 and dedicate for devotional way of life.
Because, if you marry, both the sisters may face some issues if your wife is not of understanding type.
Now, you are going 165 KMs away for the transfer of job.
No problem.
Do not leave them in your present place. Take them with you to new place.
If you are now living in own house, rent it out and use that rent to pay for your rented house.
Find a house in the new place that has three or four bed rooms in an outskirt and keep your mother and sisters in every room. Let them live peacefully.
You too live in another room.
Let your sisters take care of your mother.
You concentrate in your career and also support your family to your level best.
Manage like this till your mother leaves this world and keep her under control by giving medications regularly.
After that, all the three of you serve Krishna and find the peace. This is the great mercy of Krishna, not negative.
All married people are not happy and all the unmarried people are not leading problematic lives.
(Serving Krishna even when we struggle in (or) for life? My Experience – PART-1! READ HERE!)
If one is unmarried, he is fortunate as he can dedicate for the whole community. He does not need sanyasa from grahastha life.
Accept your karma and clear it in this birth by doing this sacrifice. Gain strength seeing those who have no vision, but live selling some things and those who are living on road platforms. You are better because atleast you have a good earning job.
If you focus fully in devotional way of life, you can manage your senses.
Never give up chanting.
Thus make this life meaningful and perfect.
When you leave this world, you will not have any guilt as you have lived taking care of mother and unmarried sisters and also followed devotion to Krishna.
This is my bold advice and I do not like to increase your suffering by increasing your desires and attachments.
Hope these tips have guided you in Facing Critical situations that have no visible solutions.
Best of luck. I will pray for your peace.
(Is immediate relief from Problems Possible for devotees of Krishna? READ HERE!)