How to deal with the depression due to Offensive Past Life?
“Hare Krishna. I am …………….. I am 25 years old female living in family where no one loves me coz of which I have been already into wrong relations before. Due to mercy I have been into Krishna Consciousness but one day one year before I saw one wrong image by mistake. Later, gradually I started watching such movies and I promised Krishna and Prabhupad I will never watch. I have tried a lot but unable to stop myself which has frustrated me. My rounds has reduced to 0, hearing has reduced to 0, whole day am lying and feeling weak and some sort of guilt is there.
I met a guy. He is also Krishna lover and initiated. We fall in love at night. he talks about only getting physical. I heard that these things are very important in relationship so I also talk. He send me wrong GIFs and videos also and we engage into inducing talks also. But, later I feel guilty. I feel shame to even wear kanthi and have removed out of shame, I have even stopped chanting coz at times all I can imagine is wrong things, I have come across life of many devotees who are facing lot of issues and almost on the verge of divorce coz of these things. I am feeling so guilty that I have no idea should I chant or not? My parents will never allow me to marry devotee. They are very materialistic. Due to this I have decided to marry this guy once we meet and then will introduce each other to our parents too.
I have not shared any wrong pic of mine with him but yes we have lot of conversation related to getting physical and all. I feel shame to chant, hear katha or performing any limb of bhakti coz of which I m getting weak. I have been in severe depression and my symptoms comes when am not doing bhakti but all this is making me feel guilty.
What should I do? Pls guide”
REPLY:
You have led a life with no principles because you have weak senses.
At the same time, you have goodness also that has taken you to Krishna Consciousness.
So, you are of mixed character like many people.
You are not alone.
(Can a devotee having past illicit violations get the mercy of Krishna? READ HERE!)
Most of the people are struggling between senses and devotion.
Between Goodness and Passion.
Between Krishna and maya.
This fight is always there till we take the bodies.
But, the real problem for you is that you have been acting foolishly while behaving with that devotee guy.
How foolish you are to trust an initiated boy devotee who exchanges ugly contents to a devotee girl!
How foolish you are to decide to entrust your life to that guy who is a violator!
Why some girls are weak in judging others?
They themselves trust such pretenders without analyzing why he is behaving so.
Then, they cry as if they have been cheated.
See, Only because you didn’t cut him even when he started speaking wrongly for the first time, he has gone this much.
(Avoiding & Repenting for violations with women after initiation (diksha)! READ HERE!)
How do you believe such a pretender and decide to marry him?
How can you trust an initiated devotee who sends ugly contents to a girl devotee?
How could that guy pretend and cheat his Guru also?
Don’t you think that his violations will also affect his guru and the image of the spiritual organization?
Nonsense.
Don’t be a fool and then regret.
A girl should be wise to judge a guy’s motives.
I tell you – this guy may assure you that he will marry soon and then he may take you somewhere, spoil and then escape without marrying.
Or, after marriage, after SEEING & DOING everything, he may divorce and escape (or) just escape without divorcing.
(VIOLATIONS BETWEEN GIRLS AND BOYS & HOW TO AVOID IT? READ HERE!)
Don’t you know your own value?
Are you that much weak to trust such a cheap cheater?
If you are foolish like this, how do you expect your parents to treat you gently?
How much they may be feeling within their heart for you?
You do not know the seriousness behind your activities.
This is the effect of bad association.
You would have been a normal devotee had you have association with matajis alone.
Because of your association with this pretending guy, you too have been induced and you were diverted from devotional sadhanas to mundane and offensive discussions with that guy.
I request you to cut all the contacts with that guy. Block every channels including phones.
Instead of marrying this pretending initiated guy, it is good to marry a materialistic Good Guy who worships other gods.
(Using intoxicants or other Violations while chanting – Will Krishna accept? READ HERE!)
First see the character. Give preference to the character of a person before choosing for marriage.
Let the devotional status be the next consideration.
There are persons with good character even among materialistic guys. Similarly, there are some persons with bad character even among the devotees.
Mind is a monkey.
All are not the Paramahamsas.
So, be careful in associating and interacting with the persons of opposite gender.
Do not be careless, lose everything and regret later with the depression due to Offensive Past Life.
(Is it good for some devotees wearing indecent clothes publicly? READ HERE!)
Leave the matter of searching for a guy for marriage to your parents.
Let them see even a materialistic guy without drinking and smoking habits.
Just ensure he is not an atheist.
Marry him, make your parents happy and make your husband a devotee by showing your good care and love to him.
Or, if you are particular about devotee groom only, select some other good guy.
Instead of marrying this guy, you can always remain unmarried. That will be safer than this.
Till that, be loyal to your parents and yourself.
Start chanting again, following fast, offering etc and make your devotee association strong and get relieved from Depression due to Offensive Past Life.
Avoid the talk and association with bad guys like him.
This may help you to avoid Fall Down & Depression due to Offensive Past Life.
Best of luck.
(Tips for finding trustworthiness of a Person! READ HERE!)